Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of men, but from doing something worthwhile. – Sir Wilfred Grenfell
TODAY – MAY 24th – FRIDAY
144th day of 2013 with 221 follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Escargot Day
* Bermuda Day (in Bermuda of course!)
* Aldersgate Day (holiday celebrated by Methodists on 24 May to commemorate the day in 1738 when John Wesley ‘experienced confirmation of his salvation by the grace of God.’ in a meeting room in Aldersgate Street, London)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
- 1544 William Gilbert, England, scientist (“Father of electrical studies”, pioneer researcher into magnetism)
- 1686 Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit, German, physicist, inventor (alcohol thermometer, mercury thermometer, developed Fahrenheit temperature scale)
- 1819 Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom
- 1878 Lillian Evelyn Gilbreth, efficiency expert (method of time-and-motion studies)
- 1879 H. B. Reese, Frosty Hill, Pennsylvania, inventor of Reese’s and founder of Reeses Candy Company
- 1891 William F. Albright, Chili/American, archeologist / Biblical scholar (founder of the Biblical archaeology movement)
- 1898 Helen Brooke Taussig, Cambridge, Massachusetts, physician, founded pediatric cardiology (pioneered use of X-rays to identify heart defects in newborns)
- 1914 Lilli Palmer [Peiser], Germany, actress (The Gentle Sex, Lotte in Weimar)
- 1941 Bob Dylan [Zimmerman], Duluth, Minnesota, singer/songwriter (Blowin’ in Wind)
- 1943 Gary Burghoff, Bristol, Connecticut, actor (Radar on M*A*S*H, Match Game)
- 1944 Patti LaBelle [Holt], Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, singer (LaBelle-Lady Marmalade)
- 1945 Priscilla Presley, Brooklyn, New York, actress (Jenna-Dallas, Naked Gun)
- 1955 Rosanne Cash, Memphis, Tennessee, country singer/ eldest daughter Johnny Cash (Runaway Train, I Wonder)
- 1960 Doug Jones, Indianapolis, Indiana, actor (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer)
- 1963 Michael Chabon, Washington D.C., author (The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, Wonder Boys, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay)
- 1965 John C. Reilly, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Casualties of War, Days of Thunder, The Perfect Storm)
- 1966 Ricky Craven, Newburgh, Maine, NASCAR driver (last drove Nextel Cup/2004; Craftsman Truck/2005; NASCAR analyst for Yahoo)
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Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. – Adele Brookman
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
- 1738 John Wesley is converted, essentially launching the Methodist movement (Aldersgate Day).
- 1830 “Mary Had A Little Lamb” by Sarah Hale is published.
- 1844 Samuel FB Morse taps out “What hath God wrought” (1st telegraph message).
- 1883 Brooklyn Bridge opened by President Arthur & Governor Cleveland after 14 years of construction..
- 1915 Thomas Edison invents telescribe to record telephone conversations.
- 1940 Igor Sikorsky performs the first successful single-rotor helicopter flight.
- 1954 IBM announces vacuum tube “electronic” brain that could perform 10 million operations an hour.
- 1962 Project Mercury: American astronaut Scott Carpenter orbits the Earth three times in the Aurora 7 space capsule.
- 1981 Bobby Unser wins, loses, & wins a controversial Indianapolis 500.
- 1987 Al Unser Sr, 47, wins his 4th Indianapolis 500.
- 1989 “Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade” premieres.
- 1993 Microsoft unveils Windows NT.
- 1994 Four men convicted of bombing New York’s World Trade Center in 1993 are each sentenced to 240 yearsin prison.
- 2001 Mountain climbing: 15-year-old Sherpa Temba Tsheri becomes the youngest person to climb on top of Mt. Everest.
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A blonde taking her driver’s test handles most of the maneuvers well, but she has a little trouble parallel parking. She winds up a couple of feet from the curb.
The examiner asks, “Could you get a little closer?”
The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt, sidles over toward the examiner and asks, “Now what?”
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AT THE AIR BASE in Japan where I was operations officer, newly assigned fighter pilots were amused to learn that our flight surgeon was a gynecologist. At the end of his tour, the doctor, who had been the butt of their jokes, announced that his replacement had the ideal medical background for working with pilots. Our new flight surgeon was a pediatrician.
–Contributed to “Humor In Uniform” by Lt. Col. Paul P. Nixon (Ret.)
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Directory Enquiries
1) Caller: “I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please”.
Operator: “I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct?”
Caller: “Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off”.
2) Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: “Woven? Are you sure?”
Caller: “Yes. That’s what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland”.
3) On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
“I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on”.
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ONE-LINERS: Make Life More Enjoyable
- Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.
- Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.
- Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
- No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
- Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
- If a person is choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
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pic of the day: Twelve Spotted Skimmer
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.
~ Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
~ He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
~ Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
~ To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
~ I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull it off.
~ A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
~ Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
~ I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
~ A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: “Check for clunking sound when going around corners.” Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a “clunk.” He then made a left turn and again heard a “clunk.”
Back at the shop he soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with the notation, “Removed bowling ball from trunk”.
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Coffee was always served at a our church after the service. One day, during children’s time, our pastor asked a young one if he knew why we had Coffee Hour.
Without hesitating, the young man replied, “Oh, yes. To wake people up after the sermon!”
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On an outing with residents from the long-term care facility where I serve as chaplain, we passed through the countryside. The residents commented on who had lived in the various homes.
Edna pointed out a farm place, saying “A boy I used to date lived there.”
I looked at her and suggested, “In your day you likely had to beat the boys off with a stick.”
With a twinkle in her eye, Edna smiled and replied, “Yes I did … but I didn’t.”
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QUIP OF THE DAY: “When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web. Now even my cat has its own page.” – Bill Clinton
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . .
If you explore beneath shyness or party chit-chat, you can sometimes turn a dull exchange into an intriguing one. I’ve found this to be particularly true in the case of professors or intellectuals, who are full of fascinating information, but need encouragement before they’ll divulge it. – Joyce Carol Oates
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