Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. – Christopher Morley (1890 – 1957)
FOR TODAY – SEPTEMBER 15th – THURSDAY
258th day of 2011 with 107 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* Make a Hat Day
* Felt Hat Day – On this day, men traditionally put away their felt hats.
*National Linguine Day
*National Creme De Menthe Day
* Chicken Lovers Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1828 Aleksandr Mikhailovich Butlerov, Chistopol, Kazan Governorate, Russian Empire, chemist, the first to incorporate double bonds into structural formulas, the discoverer of hexamine (1859), and the discoverer of the formose reaction
- 1857 William Howard Taft, Cincinnati, Ohio, (R) 27th president (1909-13), chief justice
- 1890 Dame Agatha Christie, Oxforshire, England, mystery writer (Hercule Poirot novels/ Murder on the Orient Express; Miss Jane Marple/ The Mirror Crack’d)
- 1894 Oskar Klein, Mörby, Sweden, physicist, Known for Kaluza–Klein theory, Klein Gordon equation, Rydberg–Klein–Rees potentials
- 1903 Roy Acuff, Maynardville TN, country musician (Hee Haw)
- 1908 Penny Singleton, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actress (The Jetsons)
- 1918 Nipsey Russell, Atlanta, Georgia, comedian (Match Game, Password, Hollywood Squares)
- 1924 Bobby Short, Danville, Illinois, musician, best known for his interpretations of songs by popular composers of the first half of the 20th century such as Rodgers and Hart, Cole Porter, Jerome Kern, Harold Arlen, Vernon Duke, Noel Coward and George and Ira Gershwin
- 1929 Murray Gell-Mann, Manhattan, New York City, physicist, Nobel Prize laureate, known for Elementary particles, Gell-Mann matrices, Gell-Mann–Nishijima formula
- 1932 Neil Bartlett, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, England, English chemist, became famous for creating the first noble gas compounds
- 1933 Henry Darrow, New York City, New York, actor (The High Chaparral; Kojak, Waltons, Mod Squad)
- 1945 Jessye Norman, Augusta, Georgia, opera singer, associated in particular with the roles of Aïda, Cassandre, Alceste, and Leonora
- 1946 Tommy Lee Jones, San Saba, Texas, actor (Men in Black, Space Cowboys, Batman Forever, Lonesome Dove, US Marshalls)
- 1961 Dan Marino, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, NFL quarterback (Miami Dolphins/ recognized as one of the greatest quarterbacks)
- 1984 Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales, 3rd in British succession
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Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. – Thomas Fuller (1608 – 1661)
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1616 The first non-aristocratic, free public school in Europe is opened in Frascati, Italy.
- 1762 Seven Years War: Battle of Signal Hill.
- 1789 The United States Department of State is established (formerly known as the “Department of Foreign Affairs”).
- 1821 Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica jointly declare independence from Spain.
- 1942 World War II: U.S. Navy aircraft carrier USS Wasp is torpedoed at Guadalcanal.
- 1944 Franklin D. Roosevelt and Winston Churchill meet in Quebec as part of the Octagon Conference to discuss strategy.
- 1945 A hurricane in southern Florida and the Bahamas destroys 366 planes and 25 blimps at NAS Richmond.
- 1947 RCA releases the 12AX7 vacuum tube.
- 1949 The Lone Ranger premiers on ABC-TV .
- 1959 Nikita Khrushchev becomes the first Soviet leader to visit the United States.
- 1963 The 16th Street Baptist Church bombing: Four children killed at an African-American church in Birmingham, Alabama, United States
- 1965 “Lost in Space” premiers.
- 1966 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson, responding to a sniper attack at the University of Texas at Austin, writes a letter to Congress urging the enactment of gun control legislation.
- 1966 Gemini XI returns to Earth with astronauts Pete Conrad and Dick Gordon.
- 1968 The Soviet Zond 5 spaceship is launched, becoming the first spacecraft to fly around the Moon and re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere.
- 1972 A Scandinavian Airlines System domestic flight from Gothenburg to Stockholm is hijacked and flown to Malmö-Bulltofta Airport.
- 1981 US Senate Judiciary Committee unanimously approves Sandra Day O’Connor as first female justice on US Supreme Court.
- 1982 1st issue of “USA Today” published by Gannett Co Inc
- 1987 United States Secretary of State George Shultz and Soviet Foreign Minister Eduard Shevardnadze sign a treaty to establish centers to reduce the risk of nuclear war.
- 1990 France announces it will send 4,000 troops to the Persian Gulf
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I’ve been to a lot of places but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can’t go alone; you have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I’ve never been in Cognito either. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport. You have to be driven there. I’ve made several trips.
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A new arrival about to enter hospital saw two white-coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
“Excuse me,” he said, “have you lost something?”
“No,” replied one of the doctors. “We’re doing a heart transplant for an IRS agent and want to find a suitable rock.”
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ONE-LINERS : How they replied to an Invitation to the Scientists’ Ball:
- Pierre and Marie Curie were aglow.
- Roentgen was radiating enthusiasm.
- Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.
- Volta was electrified.
- Archimedes was buoyant.
- Ampere was worried he wasn’t up to current research.
- Ohm resisted the idea at first.
- Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
- Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.
- Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.
- Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.
- Wilbur Wright said he’d take a flier on it.
- Dr Jekyll declined — he hadn’t been feeling himself lately.
- Morse replied: “I’ll be there on the dot. Can’t stop now – must dash.”
- Heisenberg was uncertain.
- Hertz said in the future he planned to attend with greater frequency.
- Henry begged off due to a low capacity for alcohol.
- Audubon said he’d have to wing it.
- Hawking said he’d try to string enough time together to make a space in his schedule.
- Darwin said he’d have to see what evolved.
- Schrodinger had to take his cat to the vet … or did he?
- Mendel said he’d put some things together and see what came out.
- Descartes said he’d think about it.
- Newton, impressed by the gravity of the matter, was moved to attend.
- Pavlov was drooling at the thought.
- Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.
- Nobel got a big bang out of it.
- Freud could barely repress his excitement.
- Galileo was so happy he felt the Earth move under his feet. But he thought people were much too inquisitive about the whole thing,
- Franklin said it beat flying a kite in a thunderstorm.
- Cantor wasn’t able to count all the invitations he’d received.
- Godel said he couldn’t prove it but he’d be there.
- Hubble wanted to bring the idea into better focus, but ultimately he was really looking forward to it.
- Tesla recoiled at the thought.
- VanDeGraaf charged his assistant with attending.
- Westinghouse stopped everything. He needed a brake.
- Da Vinci said he had no idea on the subject.
- Shockley was waiting until things took a more solid state.
- Goddard couldn’t be reached. He was out to launch.
- Sagan had billions and billions and billions of things to do.
- Piaget thought the whole thing sounded childish.
- Fermi was controlled in his reaction.
- Cousteau was submerged in his work.
- We left a message on Turing’s answering machine. Or maybe we spoke to him.
- Maxwell was too busy exorcising his demons.
- Teller had a splitting headache.
- Babbage was counting on going.
- Faraday was charged up with the idea.
- Marconi was radiating with pleasure, but was not wired up about going.
- Pasteur was boiling about not being invited.
- Bohr held another party on a higher floor at the same time.
- Planck decided to have a drink at the h-bar.
- Avogadro expected a large number to attend.
- De Broglie waved aside the invitation.
- Shannon asked for more information.
- Abel worried about commuting there since Hamming said it was a long distance.
- Galois wanted to assemble his own group.
- Russell had to visit the barber first.
- Alvarez already crashed it a long time ago.
- Watson and Crick went and ended up twisting the night away
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The President has a meeting with a business leader, a libertarian leader and a union leader. The President puts out a huge plate of cookies.
The business leader reaches over and takes all the cookies expect one. He then leans over to the libertarian leader and whispers, “Don’t look now, but I think that union guy wants to steal your cookie.”
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After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, ”Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up.”
”That’s okay with us,” the mother said, ”But what made you decide to be a minister?”
”Well,” the boy replied, ”I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen.”
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A 20-year-old Texas man has been arrested after he stole a Coca-Cola delivery truck and filled it with stolen Pepsi. According to police, the man broke into a Corpus Christi warehouse and stole a Coke van, then drove next door to the Pepsi plant and took 47 cases from a locked Pepsi truck.
Pepsi spokeswoman Julia Koch said, “Our guess is that he just liked Pepsi and figured he could sell it easier than Coke.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A manufacturer of factory whistles thought he had found an untapped market in rock quarries that had no adequate way of advising workers to start or stop work. He test-marketed his company’s special tooting whistles at a quarry but unfortunately the shrill sound caused rockslides.
Thinking this had to be an anomaly, he then tested the whistle at other quarries. Unfortunately, they got the same results.
He didn’t make any sales, but he had learned an important lesson: There are toot slides to every quarry.
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A wise old farmer went to town to buy a new pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price.
After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they set down to do the paperwork.
The salesman handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer declared This isn’t the price I saw!”.
The salesman went on to tell the old wise farmer how he was getting extras such as power steering, power brakes, power windows, special tires, etc. and that was what took the price up.
The farmer, needing the truck badly, paid the price and went home.
A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, “My son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for sale?”
The farmer replied, “Yes, I have a few cows I would sell for $500 apiece, Come and look at them and take your pick”.
The salesman said he and his son would be right out .
After spending a few hours in the field checking out all the farmer’s cows, the two decided on one and the salesman proceeded to write out a check for $500.
The farmer said “Now wait a minute, that’s not the final price of the cow, you’re getting extras with it and you have to pay for that too”.
“What extras?” asked the salesman. Below is the list the farmer gave the salesman for the final price of the cow
BASIC COW – 500.00
Two-tone exterior – 45.00
Extra stomach – 75.00
Product storing equipment – 60.00
Straw compartment – 120.00
4 spigots @$10 each – 40.00
Leather upholstery – 125.00
Dual horns – 45.00
Automatic fly swatter – 38.00
Fertilizer attachment – 185.00
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Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a game on TV. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
“Listen to this, there’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season tickets.”
“Hmmm,” her husband said, not bothering to look away from the game.
Sarah said teasingly, “Would you swap me for season tickets?”
“Absolutely not,” he said, “season’s more than half over.”!
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Hat Facts!
~ A hat in Scotland is called a TAM, and it’s BERET in France. The beret can be made of cloth or felt material.
~ JFK’s wife liked to wear hats called a Pillbox. In history president’s wives were known to set fashion trends.
~ In the military you will hear the phrase ‘remove your cover’. When they say cover, they were referring to a hats!
~ Hats are used to indicate status .A hat is also used as an ornament and worn for protection.
~ A top hat – the hat worn by John Hetherimgton which caused passers to panic, women to faint and children to scream. Why? According to newspaper reports Hetherington was taken to court for wearing “a tall structure having a shining lustre calculated to frighten timid people”.
~ Zucchetto hat is a skullcap used by rRoman Catholic clerics.
~ Stetson is used as a generic name for a Cowboy hat. The name ‘Stetson’ actually refers to a hat made by the John B. Stetson Company of St. Joseph, Missouri.
~ Top Hat is now usually only worn with morning dress and on ceremonial occasions.
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LIFE LESSON: Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind. – Leonardo da Vinci
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. – Rita Mae Brown
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. – Paul Dudley White
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