The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for. – Dan Millman
FOR TODAY – AUGUST 17th – WEDNESDAY
298th day of 2011 with 67 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Thriftshop Day
*National Vanilla Custard Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1601 Pierre de Fermat, Beaumont-de-Lomagne, France, French mathematician (Analytic geometry, Fermat’s principle, Probability, Fermat’s Last Theorem)
- 1786 Davy Crockett, Greene Coounty, Tennessee, frontiersman, adventurer, politician
- 1828 Jules Bernard Luys, Paris, France, French neurologist (neuroanatomy and neuropsychiatry)
- 1873 John A. Sampson, Troy, New York , American gynecologist (studied endometriosis)
- 1893 Walter Noddack, Berlin, Germany, German chemist who discovered the element rhenium
- 1893 Mae West, Brunswick NY, actress (Diamond Lil, She Done Him Wrong)
- 1906 Hazel Bishop, Hoboken, New Jersey, Chemist and cosmetic executive (made an indelible mark on the cosmetics industry by inventing non-smear (“stays on you not on him”) kissproof lipstick)
- 1920 Maureen O’Hara, Dublin Ireland, actress, playwright (Miracle on 34th St, Big Jake, The Parent Trap)
- 1929 Francis Gary Powers, Jenkins, Kentucky, U-2 pilot (USSR captures him in 1959 U-2 incident)
- 1930 Glenn Corbett, El Monte, California, actor (The Crimson Kimono , All the Young Men, Homicidal)
- 1936 Floyd Red Crow Westerman, Lake Traverse Reservation, South Dakota, Native American musician and actor (Tillamook Treasure, Renegades)
- 1943 Robert De Niro, New York City, New York, actor ( The Godfather, Part II, Taxi Driver)
- 1962 Gilby Clarke, Cleveland, Ohio, musician (Guns N’ Roses)
- 1966 Rodney Mullen, Gainesville, Florida, skateboarder (invented flat-ground Ollie, the Kickflip, Heelflip, 360 flip & the Impossible)
- 1969 Donnie Wahlberg, Dorchester, Maine, singer and actor (New Kids on the Block/ Band of Brothers, The Kill Point)
- 1981 Kristin Holt, Plano, Texas, television personality (host of G4′s Cheat!)
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You just have to be happy. If you are, everything else will fall into place. – Emily Osment
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1807 Robert Fulton’s first American steamboat leaves New York City for Albany, New York on the Hudson River, inaugurating the first commercial steamboat service in the world.
- 1883 The first public performance of the Dominican Republic’s national anthem, Himno Nacional.
- 1907 Pike Place Market, the longest continuously-running public farmers market in the US, opened in Seattle.
- 1908 Fantasmagorie, the first animated cartoon, realized by Émile Cohl, is shown in Paris.
- 1945 Indonesian Declaration of Independence.
- 1947 The Radcliffe Line, the border between Union of India and Dominion of Pakistan is revealed.
- 1953 First meeting of Narcotics Anonymous in Southern California.
- 1959 Quake Lake was formed by a 7.5 rated earthquake in Montana.
- 1960 Gabon gains independence from France.
- 1962 East German border guards kill 18-year-old Peter Fechter as he attempts to cross the Berlin Wall into West Berlin becoming one of the first victims of the wall.
- 1969 Category 5 Hurricane Camille hits the Mississippi coast, killing 248 people and causing $1.5 billion in damage.
- 1970 Venera 7 launched. It will later become the first spacecraft to successfully transmit data from the surface of another planet (Venus).
- 1998 Monica Lewinsky scandal: US President Bill Clinton admits in taped testimony that he had an “improper physical relationship” with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. On the same day he admits before the nation that he “misled people” about his relationship.
- 1999 A 7.4-magnitude earthquake strikes İzmit, Turkey, killing more than 17,000 and injuring 44,000.
- 2005 Over 500 bombs are set off by terrorists at 300 locations in 63 out of the 64 districts of Bangladesh
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Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Hotel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.
From the moment the hotel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she’d had the same phone number for years, she felt that the hotel should change its number. Naturally, the management refused.
The phone company wasn’t helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else’s calls 24 hours a day didn’t make it responsible.
After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.
At 9 o’clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the hotel to ask for a room for the following Tuesday. Leoloa said,
“No problem. How many nights?”
A few hours later Dallas checked in. A secretary wanted a two-bedroom suite for a week. Emboldened, Leola said the Presidential
Suite on the 10th floor was available for $600 a night. The secretary said that she would take it and asked if the hotel wanted a
deposit. “No, that won’t be necessary,” Leola said. “We trust you.”
The next day was a busy one for Leola. In the morning, she booked an electric appliance manufacturers’ convention for Memorial Day weekend, a college prom and a reunion of the 82nd Airborne veterans from World War II.
She turned on her answering machine during lunchtime so that she could watch the news, but her biggest challenge came in the
afternoon when a mother called to book the ballroom for her daughter’s wedding in June.
Leola assured the woman that it would be no problem and asked if she would be providing the flowers or did she want the hotel to
take care of it. The mother said that she would prefer the hotel to handle the floral arrangements. Then the question of valet
parking came up.
Once again Leola was helpful. “There’s no charge for valet parking, but we always recommend that the guest should tip the
driver.”
Within a few months, the Ribrock Plaza Hotel was a disaster as people showing up for weddings, bar mitzvahs, and Sweet Sixteen parties and were told there were no such events.
Leola had her final revenge when she read in the local paper that the hotel might go bankrupt. That evening her phone rang. An
executive from Marriott said, “We’re prepared to offer you $200,000 for the hotel.”
Leola replied, “We’ll take it, but only if you agree to change the telephone number.”
(by Art Buchwald)
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ONE-LINERS : Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. The cats live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture
3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people
4. To you, they’re cats. To me, they’re an adopted son or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly
5. Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don’ t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about buying the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the kittens.
6. They ignore you until you are asleep.
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Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do …I memorized all the state capitals.”
One of the guys, of course, said “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?”
“N”, she answered.
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pic of the day: Red Kangaroo Resting..
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A traveling salesman knocked on a farmer’s door late one night and requested a place to sleep for the night.
“We’re a little tight on space,” said the farmer, “so I’m going to have to put you in with my three sons.”
“Oh, pardon me,” said the salesman, “I must be in the wrong joke.”
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Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated.
We can pretty much guess that they are no longer employed there.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Once there was this bus which happened to be from Sesame Street. On the bus were some very strange people with very strange things to do. First there were two identical twins whose names were both Pattie. They were very big and muscular, especially for women. Next there was a man named Ross. He was a extrodinary guy so he was dubbed “Special Ross”.
After that there was a hefty, overweight man named Leonard. Since his cheeks were so puffy people decided to nickname him “Leonard Cheeks”. Finally, all the people on the bus had bunions at which they feverishly picked and scratched.
What do we call this bus filled with strange people?
Of course; we call them: “Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin’ bunions, on a Sesame Street bus!”
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A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker. “I think this one will really move said the broker, it’s only $1 a share.”
The next day the stock was at $2. The client called the broker and said, “You were right, give me 5000 more shares.”
The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $4.
The client ran to the phone and called the broker, “Get me 10,000 more shares said the client.”
“Great!” said the broker.
The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $9.
Seeing what a great profit he had in just a few days, the client ran to the phone and told the broker, “Sell all my shares!”
The broker said, “To whom? You were the only one buying that stock.”
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Two tourists in London, completely stoned on drugs ride a double decker bus: one goes on the lower deck and one goes upstairs. After a while they have this conversation:
Man on Higher Deck – “How fast are you going?”
Man on LowerDeck – “I don’t know about 50 MPH – how about you up there?
Man on Higher Deck – “We are NOT going nowhere; we are still waiting for the driver.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: LIP LINER
~Lip liner is a makeup or cosmetic manufactured good that is used for the outline of the lips. It is used in concurrence with lipstick to give the lips a complete look. The effect can be bold or subtle.
~It can come in a container that looks like a pencil or in a liquid form with a bottle and applicator.
~It was invented in 1932 by Max Factor, who also invented lipstick and mascara to enhance the movie industry.
~Lip liner is claimed to give the lips a fuller, more defined look. The area around the mouth can be uneven and liner can more definition and even alter the shape of the lip.
~Beauty tip: To produce a bold look, use dark or unusual color to draw attention to the mouth.Wearing a contrasting color of lip liner is good for a very bold look.
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LIFE LESSON: You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people to get what they want. – Zig Ziglar
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QUIP OF THE DAY: By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. – Billy Crystal
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
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