We don’t live as we wish, but as we can. – Terence
FOR TODAY – AUGUST 24th- WEDNESDAY
236th day of 2011 with 129 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Peach Pie Day
*Vesuvius Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1835 Lyman Reed Blake, South Abington, Massachusetts, inventor (devised a sewing machine for sewing the soles of shoes to the uppers)
- 1884 Earl Derr Biggers, Warren, Ohio, author (Charlie Chan)
- 1886 William Francis Gibbs, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, naval architect, one of the most renowned in his time (designed over 6,000 ships from a fireboat, to freighters, ocean liners and warships).
- 1899 Gaylord DuBois, Winthrop , Massachusetts, comic book writer (Tarzan for Dell Comics)
- 1901 Preston Foster, Pitman, New Jersey, actor (Doctor X , I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang)
- 1915 Alice Bradley Sheldon aka James Tiptree, Jr. , Chicago, Illinois, sci-fi writer (Her Smoke Rose up Forever, A Momentary Taste of Being)
- 1916 Harold John “Hal” Smith, Petosky, Michigan, actor and voice actor (Otis on Andy Griffith, voice of Goofy, Owl in Pooh movies)
- 1917 Dennis James, Jersey City, New Jersey, game show host (DuMont Network’s Cash and Carry)
- 1923 Arthur Jensen, San Diego, California, psychologist (Heritability of IQ, Race and intelligence)
- 1927 Harry Markowitz, Chicago, Illinois, economist (Modern Portfolio Theory)
- 1934 Kenny Baker, English actor (R2D2 in Star Wars)
- 1938 David Freiberg, Cincinnati, Ohio, bassist (Quicksilver Messenger Service and Jefferson Starship)
- 1944 Gregory Jarvis, Detroit, Michigan, astronaut (payload specialist 2 on STS-51-L; died 1986 in Challenger explosion)
- 1950 Tim White, Los Angeles, California, anthropologist, most famous for his work on Lucy as Australopithecus afarensis with discoverer Donald Johanson
- 1951 Orson Scott Card, Richland, Washington, writer (Ender’s Game, Speaker for the Dead, Lost Boys)
- 1965 Marlee Matlin, Morton Grove, Illinois, deaf actress (6th season Dancing w/the Stars, Children of Lesser God, lawyer in My Name is Earl)
- 1974 Jennifer Lien, Chicago, Illlinois, actress (Vitani/Lion King II, Kes/ST Voyager series, voice Agent L/Men in Black)
- 1981 Chad Michael Murray, Buffalo, New York, actor (Freaky Friday, A Cinderella Story)
- 1988 Rupert Grint, Watton-at-Stone, Hertfordshire, England, actor (Ron Weasley/ Harry Potter films)
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Believe in yourself and you can achieve greatness in your life. – Judy Blume
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 79 MT. Vesuvius erupts, buries Pompeii, Herculaneum & Stabiae in volcanic ash.
- 1215 Pope Innocent III declares Magna Carta invalid.
- 1349 Six thousand Jews are killed in Mainz after being blamed for the bubonic plague.
- 1572 St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre: On the orders of king Charles IX of France, a massacre of Huguenots (French Protestants) begins.
- 1690 Calcutta, India is founded.
- 1814 British troops invade Washington, D.C. and burn down the White House and several other buildings.
- 1891 Thomas Edison patents motion picture camera.
- 1912 Alaska becomes a United States territory.
- 1932 Amelia Earhart is the first woman to fly across the United States non-stop (from Los Angeles to Newark, New Jersey).
- 1949 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) goes into effect.
- 1950 Edith Sampson becomes the first black U.S. delegate to the UN.
- 1960 A temperature of −88°C (−127°F) is measured in Vostok, Antarctica — a world-record low.
- 1963 The 200-metre freestyle is swum in less than 2 minutes for the first time by Don Schollander (1:58).
- 1995 Windows 95, a computer operating system by Microsoft, is released with much fanfare.
- 1998 First RFID human implantation tested in the United Kingdom.
- 2006 The International Astronomical Union (IAU) redefines the term “planet” such that Pluto is considered a Dwarf Planet.
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A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up and decided to send it to the President.
The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you letter to God which ran as follows:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, those corrupt politicians deducted $95.00.
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A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talked too much. Recently he proudly told his wife he’d heard that men use 2200 words a day, while women use 4400.
The wife pondered that a moment, then concluded, ‘That’s because women have to repeat everything they say to their husbands.’
He looked up and asked, ‘Come again?’
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ONE-LINERS : Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?”
8. After he describes each special, you shout, “Garbage!”
7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum wage”.
6. Every few seconds, yell, “More waffles, Cuomo!”
5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, “You wouldn’t charge Superman for dinner, would you?”
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, “He’s gonna spit in the chowder!”
1. Three words: eat the check.
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The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them.
Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”
“Why would you say that?” wondered the broker.
“Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career.”
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pic of the day: Common Sulphur Butterfly on Alabama Crimson Honeysuckle
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One day, Jerry Aught, who liked to get drunk, did just that. When he got home, his wife, Sherry Aught, would get mad. One day, Sherry said,”If you come home drunk again, I will hit you on the head with this frying pan”.
The next day, Jerry came home drunk again.As he lay on the doormat,Sherry came out with the frying pan. Jerry started to sing: “swing low, sweet Sherry Aught, coming to carry me home…”
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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”
The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:
“Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”
“Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!”
“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear.
The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket.
It went in one ear and out the udder.
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After a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?”
“Well,” the man replied, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.”
“That’s a big decision! Have you talked it over with your family?”
“Yeah. We took a vote ….. and they were in favour of it 15 to 2.”
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After a boring day at home, the blonde wife decides to go to the mall. After getting out of the house, she realizes that her husband doesn’t have a key.
Her husband comes home and there is a note on the door that reads:
“Hey honey! I’ve gone out and remembered that you didn’t have a key to get it. Don’t worry, I left it under the mat for you.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Since its VESUVIUS day, why not talk about it?
~Mount Vesuvius is better known for its striking presence amidst the attractive Bay of Naples.
~Mount Vesuvius is responsible for the destruction of the Roman cities of Herculaneum and Pompeii in AD 79.
~Mount Vesuvius is considered as one of the most unsafe volcanoes in the world because of the possible danger it poses to the population of 3,000,000 people living close to it. It is the most densely populated volcanic region in the world actually.
~ The historian Strabo described the mountain in Geographica as a predominantly flat and barren summit with sooty, ash-coloured rocks. He also credited the fertility of the surrounding slopes to the volcanic activity.
~The 79 eruption, which lasted for nearly 19 hours, was noted that the volcano released about 4 cubic kilometres of ash and rock and about 10 ft of tephra that settled over Pompeii.
~The eruption of Vesuvius on the 24th and 25th of August, 79, stretched out Plinian and Pelean chapter. The towns’ locations were accidentally rediscovered in the 18th century. The area around Vesuvius is now open to visitors as a national park.
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LIFE LESSON: It doesn’t matter how many say it cannot be done or how many people have tried it before; it’s important to realize that whatever you’re doing, it’s your first attempt at it. – Wally Amos
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says chicken of the sea. – Jessica Simpson
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. – Henry David Thoreau
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