Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give. – Eleanor Roosevelt
FOR TODAY – SEPTEMBER 20th – TUESDAY
263rd day of 2011 with 102 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Punch Day
*National Rum Punch Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1833 Ernesto Teodoro Moneta, Milan, Lombardy, pacifist, launched the motto In varietate unitas (United in Diversity).
- 1842 James Dewar, Kincardine-on-Forth, Scottish chemist (Dewar flask)
- 1878 Upton Sinclair, Baltimore, Maryland, novelist, socialist (The Jungle, Lanny Budd series)
- 1885 Jelly Roll Morton, New Orleans, Louisiana, jazz pianist, bandleader and composer
- 1920 Jay Ward, Berkeley, California, animated cartoonist produced animated series based on such characters as Crusader Rabbit, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Dudley Do-Right, Peabody and Sherman, Hoppity Hooper, George of the Jungle, Tom Slick and Super Chicken
- 1925 Bobby Nunn, Birmingham, Alabama, singer (The Coasters)
- 1928 Donald Hall, Hamden, Connecticut, poet and US Poet Laureate
- 1929 Anne Meara, Brooklyn, New York, comedian/actress (Stiller & Meara, Archie’s Place) (mother Ben and Amy Stiller)
- 1934 Sophia Loren, Rome, Italy, actress (Desire Under the Elms, Black Orchid, Fantastic Voyage)
- 1947 Steve Gerber, St. Louis, Missouri, comics writer, best known as co-creator of the satiric Marvel Comics Howard the Duck. character
- 1948 George R. R. Martin, Bayonne, New Jersey, writer, best known for his ongoing A Song of Ice and Fire series of epic fantasy novels
- 1948 Chuck Panozzo, Chicago, Illinois, musician (Styx)
- 1956 Gary Cole, Park Ridge, Illinois, actor (Fatal Vision, Entourage, Line of Fire, The West Wing, Kim Possible, I Spy, Brady Bunch movies)
- 1964 Randy Bradbury, Long Beach, California , musician (Pennywise)
- 1987 Jack Lawless, Albany, New York, drummer for the Jonas Brothers
- 1991 Spencer Locke, Winter Park, Florida, actress (Nickelodeon series Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide)
- 1995 Sammi Hanratty, Scottsdale, Arizona, actress (Charlotte “Chuck” Charles on the ABC series Pushing Daisies)
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We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. – English proverb
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1519 Ferdinand Magellan sets sail from Sanlúcar de Barrameda with about 270 men on his expedition to circumnavigate the globe.
- 1633 Galileo Galilei is tried before the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith for teaching that the Earth orbits the sun.
- 1860 The Prince of Wales (later King Edward VII of the United Kingdom) visits the United States.
- 1863 American Civil War: The Battle of Chickamauga ends.
- 1881 Chester A. Arthur is inaugurated as the 21st President of the United States following the assassination of James Garfield.
- 1891 The first gasoline-powered car debuts in Springfield, Massachusetts, United States.
- 1968 Mickey Mantle hits final career homer # 536.
- 1973 Billy Jean King beats Bobby Riggs in battle-of-sexes tennis match.
- 1977 The Socialist Republic of Vietnam is admitted to the United Nations.
- 1979 Lee Iacocca is elected president of the Chrysler Corporation.
- 1984 Suicide car bomb attacks US Embassy annex in Beirut, killing 12 people.
- 2001 In an address to a joint session of Congress and the American people, U.S. President George W. Bush declares a “war on terror”.
- 2002 The Kolka-Karmadon rock/ice slide started.
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Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the Emcee that he desired a question on American History.
The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The Emcee stepped up to the mike.
“Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?”
Bob nodded with a cocky confidence – the crowd went nuts. He hadn’t missed a question all week.
“Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?”
Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn’t believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he played it safe.
“I’ll try the second part first.”
The Emcee nodded approvingly. “Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half.”
The audience silenced with gross anticipation…
“Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen??”
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The day before the wedding, the mother of the bride told her daughter, ”You must preserve your feminine mystique, so don’t ever let your husband see you without at least one article of clothing on.” The bride thanked her mother for the advice and promised that she would heed it.
A month later, the groom went to his mother-in-law and asked, ”Is there any insanity in your family?”
”Certainly not,” she snapped, ”Why do you ask?”
”Well,” he said, ”since I’ve been married to your daughter, I have never seen her with her hat off.”
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ONE-LINERS :GRANDPARENTS’ ANSWERING MACHINE
“Good morning, at present we are not at home but, please leave your message after you hear the beep.. beeeeeppp ….
If you are one of our children, press 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of “arrival” so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2.
If you want to borrow the car, press 3.
If you want us to wash your clothes and do your ironing, press 4.
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5.
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6.
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7.
If you want to come to eat here, press 8.
If you need money, dial 9.
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or take us to the theater, start talking – we are listening!”
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A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, ‘If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.’ He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, ‘If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero’ The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, ‘If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.’ The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, ‘If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.’ Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, ‘What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?’
The man said, ‘Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.’
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Pic of the Day: Plott Balsams Range in North Carolina
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A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog is thrilled, “Will I meet her at a party?”
“No,” says the psychic, “I see… a biology class.”
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The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog.
The man will be there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to keep the man from touching the computers.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A man who lived in a block of flats thought it was raining and put his hand out of the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.
He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a woman looking down, screaming.
‘Is this yours?’ he shouted up.
She said, ‘Yes, that’s my eye! I’m so sorry! Could you please bring it up?’ The man agreed and went up.
On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, ‘I’m about to have dinner. There’s plenty; would you like to join me?’
He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the girl said, ‘I have had a marvelous evening, would you like to stay the night?’
The man hesitated then said, ‘Do you act like this with every man you meet?’
‘No,’ she replied, ‘Only those who catch my eye!’
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An Irish guy is walking along the coast when he spies a old-fashioned lamp lying on the beach. He picks it up, and in wiping the off the sand, manages to release a genie! Of course the genie grants him three wishes.
For his first wish, the Irishman asks for a bottle of Guinness that never runs dry, and *poof* he’s holding a bottle. He takes a swig of some of the best Guinness he’s ever tasted! After a few more swigs he notices that sure enough, the bottle is still full. So he sits there on a rock, drinking and enjoying his magical bottle of stout.
The genie, getting bored watching the Irishman drink, prompts, “You have another two wishes, you know…”
“Oh, that’s right!” says the Irishman. “Gimme a couple more just like this one!”
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And Adam said, ”Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.”
And God said, ”No problem! I will create a companion for you that will bewith you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.”
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, ”But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.”
And God said, ”No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.”
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam’s guardian angel came to the Lord and said, ”Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility.”
And the Lord said, ”No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration.”
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat’s eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog wagged his tail.
And Cat did not care one way or the other.
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Awesome facts about PUNCH
~“Did you know that punch is named after the ancient word for five?”
~The original punch was originally came from India. It was a blend of spirits, sugar, lemon, water, and tea, and named for it’s five ingredients.
~The Hindi word for the drink was panch, originally called paantsch, coming from the Parsi (Persian) word panj, meaning five, which in turn is based on the Sanskrit panchan-s.
~At 1600 it became a part of western culture.
~The widely available “fruit punch” found in stores is really one of the least fruity drinks available, made mostly with processed sugar and artificial flavors.
~The brand of drink flavored with 7 tropical fruits (with a whopping 5% fruit juice), was first created in 1934 as a ice cream topping then watered down. It’s known as the Hawaiian Punch.
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LIFE LESSON:You’re alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act. – Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Making mistakes isn’t stupid; disregarding them is. – Yevgeny Zamyatin
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness. – Leo Tolstoy
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