Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. – Josh Billings
FOR TODAY – OCTOBER 5th – WEDNESDAY
278thday of 2011 with 87 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* Do Something Nice Day
* World Teacher’s Day
* National Apple Betty Day
* Adopt a Shelter Dog Month in October!
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1703 Jonathan Edwards, East Windsor, Conneticut, preacher, missionary to Native Americans / theologian (acknowledged to be America’s most important and original philosophical theologians)
- 1830 Chester Alan Arthur, Fairfield, Vermont, (R) 21st President of the US (1881-85)
- 1879 Francis Peyton Rous, Baltimore, Maryland, pathologist, known for oncoviruses
- 1882 Robert Goddard, Worcester, Massachusetts, rocket scientist, Known for First liquid-fueled rocket
- 1892 Remington Kellogg, Davenport, Iowa, naturalist (former director US National Museum)
- 1901 John Alton, Sopron, Austria-Hungary, American cinematographer, his style is most notable in the film noirs: He Walked by Night, The Big Combo, The Amazing Mr. X, T-Men, and Raw Deal
- 1902 Ray Kroc, Oak Park, Illinois, founder of McDonalds/owner (San Diego Padres)
- 1903 M. King Hubbert, San Saba, Texas, geophysicist, known for Peak Oil Theory, Hubbert’s Peak
- 1922 Bil Keane, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, cartoonist (newspaper comic The Family Circus)
- 1925 Bob Thaves, American cartoonist (Frank and Ernest)
- 1928 Louise Fitzhugh, Memphis, Tennessee, author (Harriet the Spy)
- 1929 Fred Feast, Scarborough, North Yorkshire, England, actor (Coronation Street)
- 1929 Richard F. Gordon, Jr., Seattle, Washington, astronaut, one of only 24 people to have flown to the Moon (Gemini 11, Apollo 12)
- 1952 Clive Barker, Liverpool, horror/fantasy writer (Weaveworld, Cabal)
- 1958 Neil DeGrasse Tyson, The Bronx, New York City, Astrophysicist
- 1962 Michael Andretti, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Indy-car racer/Auto Hall of Fame (elected 1986)
- 1975 Scott Weinger, New York City, New York, actor (voice of Aladdin in Walt Disney’s feature film, Steve / Full House)
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But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? – Albert Camus
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1877 Chief Joseph surrenders his Nez Perce band to General Nelson A. Miles.
- 1904 Alpha Kappa Psi is founded on the campus of New York University
- 1905 Wilbur Wright pilots Wright Flyer III in a flight of 24 miles in 39 minutes, a world record that stood until 1908.
- 1921 1st World Series radio broadcast, Yanks beat Giants 3-0 (World Series #18).
- 1945 Hollywood Black Friday: A six month strike by Hollywood set decorators turns into a bloody riot at the gates of Warner Brothers’ studios.
- 1947 The first televised White House address is given by U.S. President Harry S. Truman.
- 1970 PBS (Public Broadcasting Service ) television network founded.
- 1984 Marc Garneau becomes the first Canadian in space, aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger.
- 1991 The first official version of the Linux kernel, version 0.02, is released.
- 1999 The Ladbroke Grove rail crash in west London kills 31 people.
- 2000 Mass demonstrations in Belgrade lead to resignation of Serbian strongman Slobodan Milošević. These demonstrations are often called the Bulldozer Revolution.
- 2001 Robert Stevens becomes the first victim in the 2001 anthrax attacks.
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The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television. The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.
I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar.
“Hey,” commented my 11-year-old, “it sounds as if someone just got his food.”
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A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines’ cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, “I wonder if they have anything for ex-wives.”
The clerk behind the counter said, “Oh, yes sir, they do have an ‘ex’ category, but they’re in Sporting Goods.”
“Really?”
“Yes sir. They’re called darts.”
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ONE-LINERS :
~I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me…they were cramming for their finals.
~Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do…write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
~How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn’t live there?
~If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
~Clones are people two.
~If a man says something in the woods & there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day.
‘Yes,’ came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, ‘I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.’
‘That was very kind of you,’ Jim added, ‘I hope she appreciated the thought.’
Tony smiled as he replied, ‘So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.’
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pic of the day: Toucan
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Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
”I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR…”
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, ”Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”
To which the little brother replied, ”No, but Gramma is!”
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A father, visiting America from Europe for the very first time, goes up and down the isles with his son at the local Giant Food Store.
“Vas diss? Powdered Orange Juice?”
“Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh ‘orange juice.’” … A few minutes later, in a different aisle … “Und vas dis? Powdered milk?? ”
“Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!” … A few minutes later, in a different aisle … “Und give a look here! Baby Powder! Vat a country, vat a country!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper?
A. Yes, if you wrap an iron in it.
- – - – - – - – - – -
Q. What’s the right planting depth for ‘Mother-in-law’s Tongue’?
A. 6 feet.
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This virus works on the honor system:
Most viruses target PC’s. Therefore, this honor system virus has been created to target most other systems.
So, if you are running a Macintosh, OS/2, Unix or Linux computer, please randomly delete or corrupt several files from your hard disk now. Then forward this message to everyone you know.
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A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks ‘What’s up?’
The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome.
‘ROME?!’ Joe says, ‘Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?’
‘We’re taking TWA,’ the man replies.
‘TWA?!’ yells Joe. ‘They’re a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they’re always late! So where you staying in Rome?’
The man says ‘We’ll be at the downtown International Marriot.’
‘That DUMP?!’ says Joe. ‘That’s the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they’re overpriced! So whatcha doing when you get there?’
The man says ‘We’re going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope.’
‘HA! That’s rich!’ laughs Joe. ‘You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You’re going to need it!’
A month later, the man comes in for his regular haircut. Joe says, ‘Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave you the worst flight of your life!’
‘No, quite the opposite’ explained the man. ‘Not only were we on time in one of their brand new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot!’
‘Hmmm,’ Joe says, ‘Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described.’
‘No, quite the opposite! They’d just finished a $25 million remodelling. It’s the finest hotel in Rome, now. They were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra charge!’
‘Well,’ Joe mumbles, ‘I KNOW you didn’t get to see the Pope!’
‘Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.’
Impressed, Joe asks, ‘Tell me, please! What’d he say?’
‘Oh, not much really. Just ‘Where’d you get that awful haircut?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: All About APPLES
~Apple can’t only be eaten but can be last name as well! There are 5,803 people in the U.S. listed on whitepages.com with the last name ‘Apple’.
~ Have you tried putting apples is a pail of water? Apples float because 25 percent of their volume is air.
~Apples were introduced to New York by the European settlers who brought seeds with them in the 1600s.
~ Familiar with the quotes, “No man is an Island”? Apples can relate to that. Why? Apples are ‘self-incompatible’ – you need two trees growing near each other to have successful pollination.
~The apples from one tree can fill about 20 boxes each year.
~China is now the world’s largest apple producer, followed by the U.S. in second place.
~The Honeycrisp apple is the official state fruit of Minnesota (designated in 2006).
~The most valuable fruit crops in the United States are in order – grapes, apples, oranges and strawberries . This is on the year 2000.
~Apples are fat, sodium, and cholesterol free. A medium apples is about 80 calories.
~America’s longest-lived apple tree was reportedly planted in 1647 by Peter Stuyvesant in his Manhattan orchard and was still bearing fruit when a derailed train struck it in 1866.
~ Two–thirds of the fiber and lots of antioxidants are found in the peel. Antioxidants help to reduce damage to cells, which can trigger some diseases. This means, Don’t peel your apple.
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LIFE LESSON: Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. – Denis Waitley
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QUIP OF THE DAY: No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. – Aesop
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. – Christopher Columbus
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