Drive thy business or it will drive thee. – Benjamin Franklin
FOR TODAY – OCTOBER 13th – THURSDAY
286th day of 2011 with 79 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*Emergency Nurses Day
*International Skeptics Day
*National Yorkshire Pudding Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1821 Rudolf Virchow, German physician, pathologist, biologist, and politician, known for Cellular pathology biogenesis (the father of modern pathology)
- 1902 Arna Wendell Bontemps, Alexandria, Louisiana, writer (God Sends Sunday)
- 1925 Margaret Thatcher, English politician, (Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1979 – 1990)
- 1932 Jack Colvin, Lyndon, Kansas, actor (Jack McGee/The Incredible Hulk(1977-1982); Dr. Ardmore/Child’s Play)
- 1939 Melinda Dillon, Hope, Arkansas, actress (Close Encounters of the Third Kind and the holiday classic A Christmas Story)
- 1940 Pharoah Sanders, Little Rock, Arkansas, saxophonist, known for his overblowing, harmonic, and multiphonic techniques on the saxophone, as well as his use of “sheets of sound.”
- 1941 Paul Simon, Newark, New Jersey , singer and musician (Simon & Garfunkel)
- 1959 Marie Osmond, Ogden, Utah, entertainer (Marie Osmond Show; Donny & Marie Show; Dancing W/the Stars Season 5)
- 1962 Kelly Preston, Honolulu, Hawaii, actress (Old Dogs, The Tenth Circle)
- 1962 Jerry Rice, Starkville, Mississippi, football star (wide receiver, 3 Superbowl rings, Dancing w/the Stars Season 2)
- 1964 Allen Covert, West Palm Beach, Florida, actor (Strange Wilderness, Bedtime Stories, Paul Blart Mall Cop )
- 1964 Christopher Judge, Los Angeles, actor (SG-1: Teal’c; voice Zodak/He-Man, Magneto/X-Men Evolution)
- 1967 Kate Walsh, San Jose, California, actress (Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice)
- 1980 Ashanti, Glen Cove, New York, singer(debut single: Foolish)
- 1992 Aaron Dismuke, Tarrant County, Texas, voice actor (Alphonse Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist)
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Health is not valued till sickness comes.- Dr. Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 54 Nero ascends to the Roman throne.
- 1775 United States Continental Congress orders the establishment of the Continental Navy (later renamed the United States Navy).
- 1792 In Washington, D.C., the cornerstone of the United States Executive Mansion (known as the White Housesince 1818) is laid.
- 1845 A majority of voters in the Republic of Texas approve a proposed constitution, that if accepted by the U.S. Congress, will make Texas a U.S. state.
- 1884 Greenwich is established as universal time meridian of longitude.
- 1885 The Georgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech) is founded in Atlanta, Georgia.
- 1967 The first game in the history of the American Basketball Association is played as the Anaheim Amigos lose to the Oakland Oaks 134-129 in Oakland, California.
- 1970 Fiji joins the United Nations.
- 1976 The first electron micrograph of an Ebola viral particle was obtained by Dr. F.A. Murphy, now at U.C. Davis, who was then working at the C.D.C.
- 1977 Four Palestinians hijack Lufthansa Flight 181 to Somalia and demand release of 11 members of the Red Army Faction.
- 1983 Ameritech Mobile Communications (now AT&T) launched the first US cellular network in Chicago, Illinois.
- 1999 The United States Senate rejects ratification of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT).
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In what is believed was a possible act of terrorism, the personal library of President George W Bush was destroyed by a fire in the Whitehouse this morning.
Press Secretary Ari Fleischer said that the President was devastated by the event. One of the two books in the library was particularly dear to him as he hadn’t finished colouring the pages.
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A blonde named Barbara is appearing on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire…
Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever Million dollars if you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 — are you ready?”
Barbara: “Sure I’ll have a go”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it……..
A – Robin, B – Sparrow, C – Cuckoo, D – Thrush.
“Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.
Barbara: ” I think I know who it…….. but I’m not 100%….No, I haven’t got a clue. I’d like to phone a friend Regis just to be sure.
Regis: “Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: “I’ll phone my friend Carol back home in Brooklyn.”
(ringing)
Carol (also a blonde): “Hello…”
Regis: “Hello Carol, its Regis Philbin here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer — fire away Barbara.”
Barbara: “Carol, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it: A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo, D-Thrush
Carol: “Oh Gees, Barbara that’s simple…..Its a Cuckoo.
Barbara: “You think?”
Carol: “I’m sure.”
Barbara: ” Thanks Carol.” (hangs up)
Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?”
Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C-Cuckoo
Regis: “Is that your final answer?”
Barbara: “It is.”
Regis: “Are you confident?”
Barbara: “Yes fairly, Carol’s a sound bet.”
Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo …you’re right! – You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.”
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Carol and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Carol and asks “Tell me Carol, How in God’s name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Carol: “Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.”
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ONE-LINERS : Internet FACTS!
- The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. – A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.
- The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
- A polar bear’s skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
- Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
- Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
- More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
- Shakespeare invented the word “assassination” and “bump.”
- Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
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Bill walks into a bar and finds his friend Joe sitting on a stool.
“Joe,” Bill said, “I’m glad to see that your wife finally let you out of the house.”
“Things have been different with my wife,” Joe said. “In fact, just the other day, I decided to show her who was the boss.”
“How did you do that?” asked Bill.
“I simply said to her, ‘Mabel, we are going to have it out right now, and I am going to show you who the boss is in this relationship’.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I don’t want to brag, but I managed to get her on her hands and knees.”
“How did you do that?”
“I was hiding under the bed at the time.”
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pic of the day: Orange & Yellow Fall Leaves
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A sailor came home from a secret two year mission at sea only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
“Was it my friend Marvin?” he demanded.
“No!” his weeping wife replied.
“Was it my friend Jerry then?” he asked.
“NO!!!” she said even more upset.
“Well which one of my no good friends did this then?” he asked.
“Don’t you think I have any friends of my own?” she snapped.
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The Backstreet Boys response to “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Brian: I think the chicken HAD to cross the road. Why? Ah, that’s the REAL secret. *Jim Carrey voice* Well alrighty then….
AJ: The chicken is the wave of the future. *sniff* Where’s he going today? I hate chickens, they freak me out.*sniff*
Howie: ‘Cause he’s back! *wink*, and stuff like that, and crossed the street! and stuff like that! *wink* And he’s a chicken! and stuff like that.
Kevin: (slowly) I don’t know, but he’s on te-le-vi-sion. Cool, he’s got his own show. He’s my cousin, you know.
Nick: Um, basically the chicken, you see, when the uh the chicken? Yeah, the chicken. When he crosses the road, he, really, he has his own flavor. Pretty much he resigns across the road. Resigns? Oh, I’m sorry! I mean resides. The chicken is just as f**king crazy as me and Brian.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge”
~A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “So, why the long face?”
~A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a beer, and a mop.”
~A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”
~Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says “Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here”
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I’ve never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
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Ed was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog.
Ed loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son, little Johnny, began asking to go along on Rusty’s evening walks.
Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father: ‘Daddy, why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk?’
Well, Ed wasn’t sure how he should answer his son. How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old? Stalling for time Ed asked: ‘What do you think he’s doing Johnny?’
Johnny frowned in concentration, then brightened and said: ‘I know! I Know! He’s checking his P-Mail!’
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Saxophone
~The saxophone is one of the most common woodwind instruments. In the woodwind family it is one of the loudest instruments, as well as one of the biggest.
~ This is a jazz instrument
~To kids : Out of all the woodwinds, the saxophone is one of the easiest to learn to play. The saxophone’s sound is the sound of a definite woodwind, but with a jazz air that kind of resembles a trumpet’s sound.
~The saxophone got it’s name from its inventor whose last name was Sax. He was Belgian, and he invented the saxophone in the 1800′s. His name was Adolph sax.
~There is also more than one type of saxophone. If you want to learn about it, you should check it out.
~ The saxophone is in the same family as the trumpet? No, is the answer. It’s not true!
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LIFE LESSON: The truth which has made us free will in the end make us glad also. – Felix Adler
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Life is a journey, not a destination.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Never do things others can do and will do, if there are things others cannot do or will not do. – Amelia Earhart
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