Act as if it were impossible to fail. – Dorothea Brande
FOR TODAY – OCTOBER 24th – MONDAY
297th day of 2011 with 68 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Bologna Day
*United Nations Day
*Good and Plenty Day
*Respiratory Care Week
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1788 Sarah Josepha Hale, Newport, New Hampshire, author (Mary Had a Little Lamb)
- 1804 Wilhelm Eduard Weber, Wittenberg, Saxony, Holy Roman Empire, German physicist, known for First use of ‘c’ for speed of light, Work on magnetism, Electrodynamometer, Telegraphy
- 1854 Hendrik Willem Bakhuis Roozeboom, Alkmaar, Netherlands, Dutch chemist, gained his reputation for works on phase behaviour in physical chemistry
- 1915 Bob Kane, New York City, New York, cartoonist (creator of the DC Comics superhero Batman)
- 1929 George Crumb, Charleston, West Virginia, composer (Pulitzer 1968-Echoes of Time)
- 1932 Pierre-Gilles de Gennes, Paris, France, physicist, worked on granular materials and on the nature of memory objects in the brain
- 1936 Bill Wyman, London, England, bass guitarist (The Rolling Stones), photographer
- 1941 William H. Dobelle, Pittsfield, Massachusetts, biomedical researcher (developed technologies to restore limited sight to blind people, breathing pacemaker research)
- 1947 Kevin Kline, St Louis, Missouri, actor (Sophie’s Choice, Big Chill, The Pink Panther)
- 1957 John Kassir, Baltimore, Maryland, actor and comedian (Tales from the Crypt, voice work as Ray “Raymundo” Rocket on Rocket Power, the mischievous Raccoon Meeko in Pocahontas, Jibolba in the Tak and the Power of Juju video game series, voices of Pete Puma in The Looney Tunes Show )
- 1960 B.D. Wong, San Francisco, California, USA, American actor (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Oz)
- 1967 Jacqueline McKenzie, Sydney, Australia, Australian actress
- 1973 Madlib, Oxnard, California, American musician and rapper, he is one of the most prolific and critically acclaimed hip hop producers of the 2000s
- 1980 Monica, Atlanta, Georgia, United States, singer and actress (Don’t Take It Personal, Before You Walk out of My Life)
- 1980 Casey Wilson, Alexandria, Virginia, comic actress (Happy Endings, Saturday Night Live)
- 1983 Adrienne Bailon, Manhattan, New York, actress and singer (The Cheetah Girls, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, All You’ve Got)
- 1983 Brian Vickers, Thomasville, North Carolina, 2003 Busch Series champion, race car driver
- 1983 VV (Vanessa) Brown, Lower East Side, Manhattan, New York, singer (one string acoustic guitar: Traveling Like Light, Lollipops & Politics)
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It is well to give when asked but it is better to give unasked, through understanding. – Kahlil Gibran, ‘On Giving,’ The Prophet
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1590 John White, The governor of the second Roanoke Colony, returns to England after an unsuccessful search for the “lost” colonists.
- 1648 The Peace of Westphalia is signed, marking the end of the Thirty Years’ War.
- 1836 Alonzo Dwight Phillips of Springfield MA received first U.S. patent for the phosphorous friction safety match (No. 68).
- 1861 The First Transcontinental Telegraph line across the United States is completed, spelling the end for the 18-month-old Pony Express.
- 1926 Harry Houdini’s last performance, which is at the Garrick Theatre in Detroit, Michigan.
- 1929 “Black Thursday” stock market crash on the New York Stock Exchange.
- 1930 A bloodless coup d’état in Brazil ousts Washington Luís Pereira de Sousa, the last President of the First Republic. Getúlio Dornelles Vargas is then installed as “provisional president.”
- 1931 The George Washington Bridge opens to public traffic.
- 1945 United Nations Charter becomes effective.
- 1946 A camera on board the V-2 No. 13 rocket takes the first photograph of earth from outer space.
- 1947 Walt Disney testifies to the House Un-American Activities Committee, naming Disney employees he believes to be communists.
- 1954 Dwight D. Eisenhower pledges United States support to South Vietnam
- 1977 Veterans Day is observed on the fourth Monday in October for the seventh and last time. (The holiday is once again observed on November 11 beginning the following year.)
- 2002 Police arrest spree killers John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo, ending the Beltway sniper attacks in the area around Washington, DC.
- 2003 Concorde makes its last commercial flight.
- 2004 Plane carrying ten members of the NASCAR Hendrick Motorsports team crashes en route to the race held at Martinsville Speedway. There were no survivors.
- 2005 Hurricane Wilma makes landfall in Florida resulting in 35 direct 26 indirect fatalities and causing $20.6B USD in damage.
- 2008 “Bloody Friday” saw many of the world’s stock exchanges experience the worst declines in their history, with drops of around 10% in most indices.
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One day, a young camel decided to ask his father some questions about growing up. ‘Daddy, why is it that we have humps on our backs?’ ‘Well son, we have humps on our backs which contain fat to sustain us through many days when we are out in the desert.’
‘Oh thanks, Dad!’ says the youngster. He then asks, ‘Daddy, why is it that we have long eye lashes over our eyes?’ ‘Well son,’ says the father, ‘in the desert, there are many sandstorms which whip up a lot of sand which can get into our eyes. The long eye lashes protect our eyes from being blinded.’
‘Oh thanks, Dad!’ says the youngster. ‘Dad, why is it that we have great big padded feet?’ ‘Well son, in the desert, the sand is very soft and we need big feet to be able to walk on the sand without our feet sinking into the soft sand.’
‘Well thanks, Dad, but then what the heck are we doing in London Zoo?’
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A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it’s her husband, “Hi hun,” he says “How do you like your new phone?”
She replies “I just love, it’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there’s one thing I don’t understand though.”
“What’s that, baby?” asks the husband.
“How’d you know I was at Wal-mart?”, she quietly replied…
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ONE-LINERS : Why we don’t understand the English Language
1. We must polish the Polish furniture.
2. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
3. The farm was used to produce produce.
4. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
5. The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
6. This was a good time to present the present. (And this last could mean “gift” or “era of time “)
7. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
8. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
9. I did not object to the object.
10. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
11. The bandage was wound around the wound.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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A man in a bar with his Labrador at his feet was intrigued to see another dog owner enter the bar. ‘That’s a strange looking dog you have there,’ he said.
‘Yes, he is rather,’ said the newcomer, ‘but he’s a great fighter.’
‘Is he now? I bet he isn’t as good a fighter as my Fang here.’
‘All right – how much do you wanna bet?’
‘Ten dollars.’
‘You’re on.’
So the two men let their dogs fight. Eventually the Labrador crawled, battered and bloody, to his master’s side.
‘I’d never thought I’d see Fang get defeated,’ said the loser’s master, handing over the ten dollars, ‘especially by such an odd-looking one like yours.’
‘Yes, he does look a little peculiar,’ agreed the winner’s master. ‘But he looked even odder before I shaved his mane off . . . ‘
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pic of the day: Summersville Lake, West Virginia
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A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, “Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn’t dance a single step!”
“So?” asked the ducks’ former owner, “did you remember to light the candle under the pot?”
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How many sheep do I have?
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
“If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?” she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
“You have 171 sheep,” said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, “if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?”
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. “You’re a blonde! Now give me back my dog.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
What’s the best name for a cat?
It doesn’t matter — they never come when you call.
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What do you call a dog with no ears?
Anything you want……he can’t hear what your saying!!!~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”
“This is heaven, sir,” the man answered.
“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” The man asked.
“Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.” The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” The traveler asked.
“I’m sorry; sir, but we don’t accept pets.”
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
“Excuse me!” He called to the reader. “Do you have any water?”
“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there” The man pointed to a place that couldn’t be seen from outside the gate. “Come on in.”
“How about my friend here?” The traveler gestured to the dog.
“There should be a bowl by the pump.”
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
“What do you call this place?” The traveler asked.
“This is heaven,” was the answer.
“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveler said. “The man down the road said that was heaven, too.”
“Oh, you mean the place with the Gold Street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.”
“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”
“No. I can see how you might think so, but we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who’ll leave their best friends behind.”
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A blonde and a brunette jump of the Brooklyn Bridge. Who would land first?
The brunette because the blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Respiratory System Trivia
~ Do you know how many lungs do we have in the body? If someone will ask you, be sure to answer 2 – 1 in the right and the other on the left.
~What does your diaphragm do when air goes in the body? It always expands.
~lungs,epiglottis,larynx,trachea,and diaphragm – these are the five structures in the respiratory system
~The rib muscles contract by making the chest wall up & out.
~Our vocal cords located in larynx. It is commonly known as the voice box.
~How to take care? Eat a balanced diet. Fresh fruits and juices are essential to prevent colds.
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LIFE LESSON: Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. – Mahatma Gandhi
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Cheese – milk’s leap toward immortality. – Clifton Fadiman
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Real strength is not just a condition of one’s muscle, but a tenderness in one’s spirit. – McCallister Dodds
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