The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes. – Andre Gide
FOR TODAY – NOVEMBER 3rd – THURSDAY
307th day of 2011 with 58 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*Housewife’s Day
*National Sandwich Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1718 John Montague, 4th Earl of Sandwich, English statesman, inventor (sandwich)
- 1749 Daniel Rutherford, Edinburgh, Scottish chemist and physician (isolation of nitrogen)
- 1793 Stephen Fuller Austin, southwestern Virginia, pioneer – colonized Texas (Father of Texas)
- 1863 Alfred Perot, Metz, France, physicist, developed the Fabry–Pérot interferometer
- 1893 Edward Adelbert Doisy, Hume, Illinois, biochemist, discovered the vitamin K (K from “Koagulations-Vitamin” in German) and its chemical structure
- 1903 Walker Evans, St. Louis, Missouri, photographer (best known for work for Farm Security Administration documenting effects of the Great Depression)
- 1909 James Reston, Clydebank, Scotland, American journalist (New York Times, perhaps the most powerful, influential, and widely-read journalist of his era)
- 1921 Charles Bronson, Ehrenfield, Pennsylvania, actor (Death Wish, Dirty Dozen, The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape)
- 1933 Jeremy Brett, Warwickshire, England, actor (Adventures of Sherlock Holmes)
- 1933 Ken Berry, Moline, Illinois, actor (F Troop, Mayberry RFD, Mama’s Family)
- 1951 Ed Murawinski, Jersey City, New Jersey, cartoonist (currently a cartoonist primarily for the sports department, New York Daily News Cartoonist)
- 1951 Dwight Evans, Santa Monica, California, baseball player (Baltimore Orioles )
- 1952 Roseanne Barr, Salt Lake City, Utah, actress and comedian (Roseanne)
- 1952 Jim Cummings, Youngstown, Ohio, voice actor (The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. )
- 1953 Dennis Miller, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, comedian (Saturday Night Live), political commentator, sports commentator (Monday Night Football)
- 1953 Kate Capshaw, Fortworth, Texas, actress (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom), married to Steven Spielburg (has 6 children)
- 1954 Kevin P Chilton, Los Angeles, California, engineer, General USAF/astronaut (STS-49, STS-59, STS-76), current Commander, U.S. Strategic Command (USSTRATCOM)
- 1956 Kevin Murphy, River Forest, Illinois, actor and puppeteer (Mystery Science Theater 3000 )
- 1956 Gary Ross, Los Angeles, California, film director (Pleasantville and Seabiscuit )
- 1979 Tim McIlrath, Indianapolis, Indiana, musician (Rise Against)
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The ultimate end of education is happiness or a good human life, a life enriched by the possession of every kind of good, by the enjoyment of every type of satisfaction. – Mortimer Adler
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1783 Washington orders the Continental Army disbanded.
- 1883 American Old West: Self-described “Black Bart the poet” gets away with his last stagecoach robbery, but leaves an incriminating clue that eventually leads to his capture.
- 1903 Colombia grants Panama independence. US President Theodore Roosevelt had wanted the United States to build the Panama Canal, but was not willing to pay what Colombia asked.
- 1913 The USA introduces an income tax.
- 1952 Clarence Birdseye marketed the first frozen peas in Chester, New York.
- 1957 USSR launches Sputnik 2 with a dog (Laika), first animal in orbit.
- 1964 Washington D.C. residents are able to vote in a presidential election for the first time.
- 1973 NASA launches the Mariner 10 toward Mercury. On March 29, 1974, it becomes the first space probe to reach that planet.
- 1979 Greensboro massacre: Five members of the Communist Workers Party are shot dead and seven are wounded by a group of Klansmen and neo-Nazis during a “Death to the Klan” rally in Greensboro, North Carolina, United States.
- 1982 The Salang tunnel fire in Afghanistan kills up to 2,000 people.
- 1986 The Federated States of Micronesia gain independence from the United States of America.
- 1988 Talk-show host Geraldo Rivera’s nose is broken as Roy Innis brawls with skinheads at TV taping.
- 1992 Bill Clinton elected US President, defeating George H.W. Bush and Ross Perot.
- 1997 The United States of America imposes economic sanctions against Sudan in response to its human rights abuses of its own citizens and its material and political assistance to Islamic extremist groups across the Middle East and Eastern Africa.
- 1998 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura is elected Governor of the U.S. state of Minnesota.
- 2007 Pervez Musharraf declares emergency rule across Pakistan. He suspends the Constitution, imposes a State of Emergency, and fires the chief justice of the Supreme Court.
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When General Douglas MacArthur retired from the military in 1951, he stated famously, “Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.” But five-star generals are not the only ones who never die:
* Old librarians never die, they just check out, become overdue, and lose their circulation.
* Old crossword puzzlers never die, they just go across and — hopefully — up.
* Old milkmaids never die, they just kick the bucket and lose their whey.
* Old plumbers never die, they just get out of sink and go down the drain.
* Old teachers never die, they just grade away and lose their principals, their faculties, and their class.
* Old math professors never die, they just go off on a tangent.
* Old mimes never die, they’re just never heard from again.
* Old housemaids never die, they just return to dust.
(from “The Gift of Age” (c)2010 by Richard Lederer)
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At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various Brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day’s conference.
Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the Barman: “In ‘Strylya, we make the best bladdy beer in the world, so pour me a Bladdy Fosters, mate.”
Bob, CEO of Budweiser, calls out next: “In the States, we brew the finest beers in the world, and I make the King of them all gimme a Bud.”
Hans steps up next: “In Germany ve invented das beer, verdamt. Give me ein Becks, ya ist Der real King of beers, danke.”
Paddy, CEO of Guinness, steps forward “Barman, would ya give me a doyet coke wid ice and lemon. Tanks.”
The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks, “Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?”
Paddy replies: “Well, if you pansies aren’t drinkin’, then neither am I”.
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ONE-LINERS :
~Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
~Is it true that cannibals won’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
~What was the best thing before sliced bread?
~If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has the right to talk?
~Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
~Do they use sterilised needles for lethal injections?
~Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
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One dark Halloween night two men walking home decided to take a shortcut through the graveyard. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”
“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”
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pic of the day: Summersville Lake, West Virginia
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A general noticed one of his privates was behaving oddly. He’d pick up a piece of paper and say, “No, no, that’s not it!”
After some weeks he was seen by the psychiatrist. The psychiatrist concluded the private was deranged and wrote his discharge from the army.
The private picked it up and said, “Yes, that’s it!”
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So a gentleman walks into a restaurant and asks the maitre d’, “Can you please tell me how you prepare your chicken?”
To which the maitre d’ replies, “Yes. We let them know right up front they’re not going to make it.”
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My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old son and one of his friends burst through the door.
“Hey Dad, have you met the new neighbors?”
“No.”
“Come on Dad, you have to meet them.”
“Some other time; I’m busy.”
“Dad, you have to meet them *now*!”
From the urgency in his voice, I assumed the neighbors were waiting outside. I set aside my project and went to
the front of the house. No one was there. “Where are they?” I asked.
“Well, Dad … we haven’t met them yet either, but our baseball is in their living room!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
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A pirate walks into a bar wearing a hat made out of a paper towel. After the bartender serves him some dirty rum he asks the pirate, “I just have to ask why you’re wearing a paper towel.”
“Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
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A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?”
“I’d love to be ten again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear-everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered a Big Mac for her along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie-the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?”
One eye opened. “You idiot, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of this story is, If a woman speaks and a man is there to hear her, he will get it wrong anyway.
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“Doctor, I’d like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son.”
“OK: He’s suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery.”
“How can you say all that without even meeting him?”
“I thought you said he’s 13?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Different kinds of SANDWICHES
~The sandwich that is usually eaten during lunch time is the ham and cheese sandwich. It is popular in brown bag lunches, an American term for lunches that are usually taken with people to work or to school. Kinds of cheese that are used in this sandwich are those that are popular like American, Cheddar, or Swiss cheese. For grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, the slices of bread are coated with butter.
~The tradition BBQ sandwich is made from chopped beef or brisket, but other meats that can be used include pork, chicken, and sausage. It is very popular in the southern United States culture.
~ A sandwich that was invented by Pat and Harry Olivieri was known as the Philly cheese steak sandwich. It is a native from Philadelphians who began selling the sandwich at their hot dog stand near Philadelphia’s Italian market in the 1930s. At first, the sandwich was served without cheese and consisted of sliced steak meat on hoagie rolls. Cheese was added later by a manager at Olivieri’s restaurant, and continues to be a part of the sandwich today.
~ It is in East United States where the submarine sandwich originated. Its name referred to the shape of the bread. The term “Hoagie” originated in Philadelphia from Italians that were working in the World War 2 shipyard known as “Hog” island. The submarine sandwich is also called as the Grinder, Torpedo and Hero.
*Grinder” came from the Italian American slang for a dock worker, and is popular in New England and the Midwest.
*”Torpedo” was another nickname given to the submarine sandwich because of its shape and is commonly used around New York.
*”Hero” is also another popular New York term for the sandwich that originated in the 19th century; the name was given to the sandwich from the New York Herald Tribune who stated you had to be a hero to eat the gigantic sandwich.
~Hamburgers are one of the most popular American foods and a traditional favorite which was first served at the Buffalo Fair in Hamburg, New York in 1885.
~ Another great taste is the club sandwich which is divided at the middle with an extra piece of bread, and usually consists of a bottom layer of turkey/ham or beef, and a top layer of veggies. It is thought to have been invented at a gambling club in Saratoga Springs, New York by Danny Mears.
~The Elvis Sandwich was a favorite food of Elvis Presley. It is made from Hawaiian bread that is filled with peanut butter, banana slices, and bacon, then cooked in a skillet or griddle. Michael Bloomberg, the mayor of New York City as well loved this so much.
~ Unique name is the Horseshoe sandwich that was created in 1928 by a chef in the Leland Hotel, located in Springfield Illinois. Horseshoe is not served with its fillings packed in between two pieces of bread like most traditional sandwiches, but the bread is served a plate with the fillings stacked on top.
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LIFE LESSON: There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life — happiness, freedom, and peace of mind — are always attained by giving them to someone else. – Peyton Conway March
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QUIP OF THE DAY: If you can imagine it, you can create it. If you can dream it, you can become it. – William Arthur Ward
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it. – Marcus Aurelius
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