Truth is the only safe ground to stand on. – Elizabeth Cady Stanton
FOR TODAY – NOVEMBER 9th – WEDNESDAY
313th day of 2011 with 52 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*Chaos Never Dies Day
*World Freedom Day (commemorates fall of Berlin Wall)
*National Scrapple Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1897 Ronald George Wreyford Norrish, Cambridge, United Kingdom, chemist (Norrish reaction)
- 1898 Leonard Carmichael, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, psychologist and educator (first scientist to study and catalogue the earliest development of children)
- 1913 Hedy Lamarr, Vienna, Austria, actress and inventor (known primarily for her great beauty, also co-invented the first form of spread spectrum, a key to modern wireless communication.)
- 1928 Anne Sexton, Newton, Massachusetts, poet (To Bedlam and Part Way Back, Live or Die, The Starry Night)
- 1934 Carl Sagan, New York City, New York, astronomer/author/professor (Cosmos, Broca’s Brain)
- 1936 Mary Travers, Louisville, Kentucky, singer and songwriter (Peter, Paul and Mary)
- 1941 Tom Fogerty, Berkeley, California, musician (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
- 1946 Benny Mardones, Cleveland, Ohio, pop singer and songwriter (Into the Night)
- 1947 Robert David Hall, East Orange, New Jersey, actor (Dr. Al Robbins / CSI: Crime Scene Investigation)
- 1951 Lou Ferrigno, Brooklyn, New York, bodybuilder and star of The Incredible Hulk
- 1964 Robert Duncan McNeill, Raleigh, North Carolina, actor / director (Tom Paris in Star Trek: Voyager )
- 1964 Sandra “Pepa” Denton, Kingston, Jamaica, West Indies, American musician (Salt-N-Pepa)
- 1969 Allison Wolfe, Memphis, Tennessee, musician (Bratmobile, Cold Cold Hearts, Partyline)
- 1972 Eric Dane, San Francisco, California, actor (Dr. Mark Sloane – Grey’s Anatomy; X-Men the Last Stand)
- 1973 Nick Lachey, Harlan, Kentucky, singer (member of the boy band 98 Degrees)
- 1988 Nikki Blonsky, Great Neck, New York, actress (Hairspray, Queen Sized )
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For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use being anything else. – Sir Winston Churchill
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1857 The Atlantic founded in Boston.
- 1861 The first documented football match in Canada is played at University College, University of Toronto.
- 1862 American Civil War: Union General Ambrose Burnside assumes command of the Army of the Potomac, after George B. McClellan is removed.
- 1867 Tokugawa Shogunate hands power back to the Emperor of Japan, starting the Meiji Restoration.
- 1906 Theodore Roosevelt is the first sitting President of the United States to make an official trip outside the country (to inspect progress on the Panama Canal).
- 1921 Albert Einstein is awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for his work with the photoelectric effect.
- 1935 The Congress of Industrial Organizations is founded in Atlantic City, New Jersey by eight trade unions belonging to the American Federation of Labor.
- 1960 Robert McNamara is named president of Ford Motor Co., the first non-Ford to serve in that post. A month later, he quit to join the newly-elected John F. Kennedy administration.
- 1965 Several U.S. states and parts of Canada are hit by a series of blackouts lasting up to 13 hours in the Northeast Blackout of 1965.
- 1967 Apollo program: NASA launches the unmanned Apollo 4 test spacecraft atop the first Saturn V rocket from Cape Kennedy, Florida.
- 1967 First issue of Rolling Stone Magazine is published.
- 1989 Fall of the Berlin Wall. Communist-controlled East Germany opens checkpoints in the Berlin Wall allowing its citizens to freely travel to West Germany. People start demolishing the Berlin Wall.
- 1993 Stari most, the “old bridge” in Bosnian Mostar built in 1566, collapses after several days of bombing.
- 1994 The chemical element Darmstadtium is discovered.
- 1998 Brokerage houses are ordered to pay 1.03 billion USD to cheated NASDAQ investors to compensate for their price-fixing. This is the largest civil settlement in United States history.
- 1998 Capital punishment in the United Kingdom, already abolished for murder, is completely abolished for all remaining capital offences.
- 2005 The Venus Express mission of the European Space Agency is launched from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan.
- 2005 Suicide bombers attacked three hotels in Amman, Jordan, killing at least 60 people.
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A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”
The rancher says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there,” as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, ” Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.”
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? ”
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull……
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..
“Your badge. Show him your BADGE !”
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OUR AIR FORCE UNIT was holding a fund-raising auction in which squadron members bid for the right to toss a pie in the face of their favorite officer or NCO. A chief master sergeant from another unit was persuaded to put himself on the block. As the auctioneer was about to sell the sergeant’s pie to a unit member for 40 dollars, a voice rang out from the back, “Sixty dollars!”
It was the sergeant’s wife, who worked on the base. The auctioneer gleefully awarded her the pie, whereupon she took aim and scored a direct hit. As the sergeant stood there, pie dripping from his face, he asked with playful sarcasm, “Anything else I can do for you while I’m here?”
“Yes,” she replied. “I need to borrow 60 dollars.”
–Contributed to “Humor In Uniform” by Ssgt. P.A. Palmisano
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ONE-LINERS :
~ Is a shell-less turtle homeless, or just naked?
~ Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
~ What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
~ If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?
~ Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
~ Is there another word for synonym?
~ Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
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A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!”
The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”
The man replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”
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pic of the day: Moon and Pine Trees at Robbers Cave State Park in Oklahoma
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An 80-year-old couple was having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, “Where are you going?”
He replied, “To the kitchen.”
She asked, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”
He replied, “Sure.”
She then asked him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”
He said, “No, I can remember that.”
She then said, “Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you’ll forget that.”
He said, “I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”
She replied, “Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down.”
With irritation in his voice, he said, “I don’t need to write that down! I can remember that.” He then fumes into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily:
“I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!”
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I work in a nursing home, and one morning I was helping a gentleman who was particularly hard to wake get ready for breakfast. As I coaxed him to sit up, he fixed his twinkling blue eyes on me and said, “My, you’re pretty! Have I asked you to marry me yet?”
“No you haven’t,” I replied.
“Good,” he said, “because I could not put up with this every morning!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Where does the catcher sit for dinner?
Behind the plate.
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What did the strawberry say on December 25th?
Berry Christmas!
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Why did the invisible man look in the mirror?
To make sure he still wasn’t there.
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In March 1997, a man living in Newton near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00.
He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card Company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn’t send them $0.00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they’d take care of it.
The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been canceled.
He called the credit card Company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.
The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to the credit card company only the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out.
The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.
Finally giving in he thought he would play the company at their own game and mailed them a check for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit card company nothing at all.
A week later, the man’s bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing software to fail. The bank could not now process ANY checks from ANY of their customers that day because the check for $0.00 was causing the computer to crash. The following month the man received a letter from the credit card company claiming that his check had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a check by return of post they would be taking steps to recover the debt. The man, who had been considering buying his wife a Computer for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.
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A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small hick Southern town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store.
He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. “Can you change this for me, please?” he said. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, “Sure, Mister. Ya’ll want 2 nines or 3 sixes?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: SCRAPPLE
~Scrapple is a regional American food that is made out from scraps and leftovers of pork which are made into a mush.
~This recipe is also known by the Pennsylvania Dutch name ‘pon haus’.
~This dish was first cooked in the 17th – 18th centuries, by the Dutch colonists when they settled in the Atlantic states of America, especially near Philadelphia and Chester County, and Pennsylvania.
~It’s called as “panhoss” or “pannhos” in certain parts of Pennsylvania.
~This dish is now available in beef and turkey varieties as well to suit different palettes. These loaves are colored in order to make them look like the original fried loaf made from pork liver base.
~Scrapple is considered an cultural food in Pennsylvania Dutch, Mennonites and Amish.
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LIFE LESSON: Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly if they even roll a few more upon it. – Albert Schweitzer
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well. – Mohandas K. Gandhi
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