Train yourself to let go of the things you fear to lose. – George Lucas, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
FOR TODAY – NOVEMBER 18th – FRIDAY
322nd day of 2011 with 43 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*Occult Day
*National Vichyssoise Day
*Married to a Scorpio Support Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1839 August Kundt, Schwerin, Mecklenburg, physicist (Magneto-optics, Anomalous dispersion, test of Kundt)
- 1897 Patrick Blackett, London, England, physicist (cloud chambers, cosmic rays, paleomagnetism, nuclear reaction, Nobel 1948)
- 1901 George Gallup, Jefferson, Iowa, public opinion pollster (Gallup Poll)
- 1906 George Wald, New York City, scientist (pigments in the retina)
- 1923 Alan B Shepard Jr, East Derry, New Hampshire, Rear Admiral USN/astronaut (first American in space / Mercury 3, 5th person to walk on the moon / Apollo 14)
- 1927 Hank Ballard, Detroit, Michigan, musician (Work With Me, Annie, The Twist)
- 1939 Brenda Vaccaro, Brooklyn, New York, actress (The War at Home, Just a Walk in the Park)
- 1942 Linda Evans, Hartford, Connecticut, actor (Dynasty, The Big Valley, Beach Blanket Bingo)
- 1943 Susan Sullivan, New York, New York, actress (Castle [his mother], Queen Hippolyta / Justice League Unlimited, Dharma and Greg, Falcon Crest, Another World)
- 1946 Alan Dean Foster, New York, New York, sci-fi & fantasy author, novelizations of screen scripts (Midworld, Flinx in Flux, Icerigger triology; novelized Alien, The Black Hole, Krull, The Last Starfighter, etc.)
- 1960 Elizabeth Perkins, Queens, New York, actress (Finding Nemo, Cats & Dogs)
- 1962 Kirk Hammett, San Francisco, California, guitarist (Metallica)
- 1965 Tim DeLaughter, Dallas, Texas, musician (Tripping Daisy, The Polyphonic Spree)
- 1968 Owen Wilson, Dallas, Texas, actor (Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, You, Me and Dupree )
- 1969 Duncan Sheik, Montclair, New Jersey, singer (1996: Barely Breathing)
- 1992 Nathan Kress, Glendale, California, actor (The Penguins of Madagascar, Babe: Pig in the City)
- 1997 Noah Ringer, Dallas, Texas, actor (The Last Airbender )
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Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. – Ovid
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1307 William Tell shoots apple off his son’s head.
- 1421 Seawall at Zuiderzee dike in the Netherlands breaks, flooding 72 villages and killing about 10,000 people.
- 1793 Louvre officially opens in Paris.
- 1865 Mark Twain’s story The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County is published in the New York Saturday Press.
- 1883 American and Canadian railroads institute five standard continental time zones, ending the confusion of thousands of local times.
- 1909 Two United States warships are sent to Nicaragua after 500 revolutionaries (including two Americans) are executed by order of José Santos Zelaya.
- 1928 Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse debuts in NY in “Steamboat Willie” - the first fully synchronized sound cartoon, directed by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks, featuring the third appearances of cartoon characters Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. This is also considered by the Disney corporation to be Mickey’s birthday.
- 1940 New York City’s Mad Bomber places his first bomb at a Manhattan office building used by Consolidated Edison.
- 1961 United States President John F. Kennedy sends 18,000 military advisors to South Vietnam.
- 1991 Moslem Shites release hostages Terry Waite and Thomas Sutherland.
- 1993 North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) is ratified by the House of Representatives in the US.
- 1994 ”Star Trek VII – Generations,” premiered.
- 2003 In a 50-page, 4–3 decision, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court rules that the state may not “deny the protections, benefits and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry.”
- 2004 The Clinton Presidential Center is opened in Little Rock, Arkansas, containing 2 million photographs and 80 million documents.
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Paddy and Colin, 2 Irishmen, were walking along the street towards the outskirts of their town in Ireland.
They noticed 2 of their friends, Sean and Brian, walking towards them from the direction of the river and they each had a large salmon under their arms.
Paddy says to the fishermen “Well now, look at that. Where’d ye get the fish from?”
Sean says ” The river’s full of ‘em at this toim of the year Paddy. They’re moigratin upstream to spawn. Arl ya got te do is hang over the bridge and grab ‘em as they come past.”
So, off Paddy and Colin go to catch a salmon.
Colin grabed Paddy by the legs and hung him over the bridge. He hung there for ages, then suddenly he started to squirm and yelled out “PULL ME UP COLIN, PULL ME UP!!”
Colin excitedly says “Have ye got a fish Paddy, have ye got a fish??”
“NO…. THERE’S A BLOODY TRAIN COMIN’!!!”
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A man moved to a new house. He thought he would get to know the locals and went to the pub near his home. He went in and sat at a stool and asked for a drink. In front of him was a jar of 10 cent coins, with a sign saying correct guess wins you the jar!!!
After about 10 beers he told the barman he was on his way home and the barman said seeing he was such a good customer he could have a free guess at the jar. The man had been thinking about an amount all night and replied with 206 dollars. The barman stood amazed and said, THAT”S CORRECT!!
How did you know how much was in there? The man said just a lucky guess, grabbed his jar of coins and staggered out and walked home.
As he walked up the front stairs of his house he tripped and the jar crashed to the patio and scattered the 2006 coins all over the place. He decided he would pick it up in the morning. He crept into the bedroom and without waking his wife went to sleep.
Early next morning his wife came in all excited to wake him up yelling JOHN, JOHN….. You wont guess what�s all over our patio?….
John opens his eyes and says calmly, Yeah I know….. 206 dollars in 10 cent coins……
“NO!!” She said….. “There is 103 bottles of MILK !!!!”
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ONE-LINERS :
~Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that.
~Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
~Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
~The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
~In America, anyone can become President. That’s the problem.
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Marketing Explained (Advertising 101)
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me.”
That’s Direct Marketing.
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her, points at you and says, “He’s very rich. Marry him.”
That’s Word-of-Mouth Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.”
That’s Telemarketing.
You’re at a party filled with gorgeous girls. You get all their names and phone numbers from the host and send each of them a text message saying, “I’m very rich. If interested in marrying me, please respond.”
That’s Mass Mailing, although the girls will consider it SPAM.
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door of your car for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say, By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?”
That’s Public Relations.
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re very rich. Will you marry me?”
That’s Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me.” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That’s Customer Feedback.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me.” At that she introduces you to her husband.
That’s a Supply and Demand Gap.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tells her, “I’m rich. Marry me.” And she goes with him.
That’s competition eating into your Market Share.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, your wife arrives.
That’s Restriction from Expanding into New Markets.
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pic of the day: Look what’s hiding in the garden at night..
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DEFINITIONS BY GENDER
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a cup.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male: A source of endless entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every five minutes.
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A Cannibal father and Son were walking through the jungle when they saw a pretty, but naked blond run by.
The Son said to the dad “Let’s track her down, kill and eat her”.
The Dad said back “No, let’s track her down and take her home and kill your Mother”..
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Why was the Pepsi Cola employee fired?
He tested positive for Coke.
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NASA is building a restaurant on the moon.
Great food but no atmosphere.
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If you go into the bathroom as a japanese and come out American, what are you while you’re inside?
European (pronounce it very slowly and you’ll get it)
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What happened when the butcher backed up into a meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
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“I have some really great news!”
“Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.”
“I just found out that I’m pregnant!”
“That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”
“There’s more.! We’re not having just one baby, we’re going to have twins!”
“How could you possibly know that so soon?”
“That was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!”
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A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him,
Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.
“What do they say?” the priest inquired ?
They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’”
“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
“You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Bob.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying…that phrase…in no time.”
Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.”
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in the cage. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”
There was stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, “Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Occult Day
Definiton: oc·cult adjective
1. of or pertaining to magic, astrology, or any system claiming use or knowledge of secret or supernatural powers or agencies.
2. beyond the range of ordinary knowledge or understanding; mysterious.
3. secret; disclosed or communicated only to the initiated.
4. hidden from view.
5. (in early science)
a. not apparent on mere inspection but discoverable by experimentation.
b. of a nature not understood, as physical qualities.
c. dealing with such qualities; experimental: occult science.
The word occult comes from the Latin word occultus (clandestine, hidden, secret), referring to “knowledge of the hidden”. In the medical sense it is used to refer to a structure or process that is hidden, e.g. an “occult bleed” may be one detected indirectly by the presence of otherwise unexplained anemia.
The word has many uses in the English language, popularly meaning “knowledge of the paranormal”, as opposed to “knowledge of the measurable”, usually referred to as science. The term is sometimes popularly taken to mean “knowledge meant only for certain people” or “knowledge that must be kept hidden”, but for most practicing occultists it is simply the study of a deeper spiritual reality that extends beyond pure reason and the physical sciences. The terms esoteric and arcane can have a very similar meaning, and the three terms are often interchangeable.
The term occult is also used as a label given to a number of magical organizations or orders, the teachings and practices taught by them, and to a large body of current and historical literature and spiritual philosophy related to this subject. (from wikipedia)
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LIFE LESSON: When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him; and you are torn by the thought of the unhappiness and night you cast, by the mere fact of living, in the hearts you encounter. – Albert Camus
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Absolute power corrupts absolutely. – Howell
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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