An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. – Sir Winston Churchill
FOR TODAY – DECEMBER 9th – FRIDAY
343rd day of 2011 with 22 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*Christmas Card Day
*National Pastry Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1608 John Milton, London, England, poet/puritan (Paradise Lost)
- 1748 Claude Louis Berthollet, Talloires, near Annecy, chemist, devised a system of names which serves as the basis of the modern system of naming chemical compounds
- 1845 Joel Chandler Harris, Eatonton, Georgia, journalist (Uncle Remus stories)
- 1868 Fritz Haber, Breslau, Germany, chemist, for his development for synthesizing ammonia, important for fertilizers and explosives
- 1886 Clarence Birdseye, Brooklyn (NYC), New York, frozen food manufacturer (Birdseye foods)
- 1898 Emmett Kelly, Sedan, Kansas, circus clown (Weary Willie)
- 1902 Margaret Hamilton, Cleveland, Ohio, actress (Wicked Witch-Wizard of Oz)
- 1916 Kirk Douglas, [Issur Demsky], Amsterdam NY, actor (Spartacus, Gunfight at OK Corral, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea)
- 1917 James Rainwater, Council, Idaho, physicist, for his part in determining the asymmetrical shapes of certain atomic nuclei
- 1919 William Lipscomb, Cleveland, Ohio, chemist, working in experimental and theoretical chemistry and biochemistry
- 1922 Redd Foxx, St. Louis, Missouri, comedian (Sanford and Son)
- 1926 Henry Way Kendall, Boston, Massachusetts, physicist, for pioneering investigations concerning deep inelastic scattering of electrons on protons and bound neutrons, which have been of essential importance for the development of the quark model in particle physics
- 1928 Dick Van Patten, New York City, New York, actor (Eight is Enough, Spaceballs)
- 1930 Buck Henry, New York City, New York, actor (Catch-22, Taking Off, The Man Who Fell to Earth, Gloria, Eating Raoul )
- 1941 Beau Bridges, Los Angeles, California, actor (Stargate: SG1; Hotel New Hampshire; 5th Musketeer)
- 1945 Michael Nouri, Washington, D.C. , actor (Flashdance, Legend of the Seeker)
- 1952 Michael Dorn, Luling, Texas, actor (Worf-Star Trek NG, voice for characters of many animations and computer games)
- 1957 Donny Osmond, Ogden, Utah, singer (Osmond Brothers, Donnie and Marie, 2009 Dancing w/the Stars champion)
- 1961 Joe Lando, Prairie View, Illinois, actor (Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman )
- 1962 Felicity Huffman, Bedford, New York, actress (Desperate Housewives)
- 1969 Jakob Dylan, New York City , singer (The Wallflowers)
- 1969 Allison Smith, New York City, New York, actress (Kate and Allie, Cagney & Lacey, The Sound of Music , Gypsy)
- 1972 Tre Cool, Frankfurt, Germany, American drummer (Green Day)
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People of little understanding are most apt to be angry when their sense is called into question. – Samuel Richardson
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1793 Noah Webster establishes NY’s first daily newspaper, American Minerva.
- 1835 The Republic of Texas captures San Antonio, Texas.
- 1861 American Civil War: The Joint Committee on the Conduct of the War is established by the U.S. Congress.
- 1872 In Louisiana, P. B. S. Pinchback becomes the first serving African-American governor of a U.S. state.
- 1875 The Massachusetts Rifle Association, “America’s Oldest Active Gun Club”, is founded.
- 1888 Statistician Herman Hollerith installs his computing device at the United States War Department.
- 1950 Harry Gold is sentenced to thirty years in jail for helping Klaus Fuchs pass information about the Manhattan Project to the Soviet Union. His testimony is later instrumental in the prosecution of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
- 1958 The John Birch Society was founded in the United States.
- 1962 The Petrified Forest National Park is established in Arizona.
- 1965 The Kecksburg UFO incident: a fireball is seen from Michigan to Pennsylvania; witnesses report something crashing in the woods near Pittsburgh. In 2005 NASA admits that it examined an object.
- 1968 NLS (a system for which hypertext and the computer mouse were developed) is publicly demonstrated for the first time in San Francisco.
- 1971 The United Arab Emirates join the United Nations.
- 1979 The eradication of the smallpox virus is certified, making smallpox the first and to date only human disease driven to extinction.
- 2000 The Supreme Court of the United States stays the sixth Florida recount.
- 2003 A blast in the center of Moscow kills six people and wounds several more.
- 2006 Moscow suffers its worst fire since 1977, killing 45 women in a drug rehabilitation center.
- 2008 The Governor of Illinois, Rob Blagojevich, is arrested by federal officials for a number of alleged crimes including attempting to sell the United States Senate seat being vacated by President-elect Barack Obama’s election to the Presidency.
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The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.
Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be nor confusing.
So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting.
This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.
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The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
“Ever have an accident?”
“Nope, nary a one.”
“None? You’ve never had any accidents.”
“Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.”
“Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?”
“Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose.”
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ONE-LINERS : Signs Found In Kitchens
- Kitchen closed – - this chick has had it!
- Martha Stewart doesn’t live here!
- I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too!
- So this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust!
- Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it yourself!
- I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day!
- If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!
- I would cook dinner but I can’t find the can opener!
- My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
- A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.
- COOK CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
- I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
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I was helping a buddy of mine, who was an orthopedic surgeon, move to his new office, and using my car to help transport some of his office equipment.
I had decided to position his somewhat fragile display skeleton strapped into the back seat of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat…
At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became quite obvious. I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to a doctor’s office.”
The other driver leaned out of his window. and commented, “I hate to tell you, but I looks like you may be a bit too late!”
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pic of the day: Guinea Fowl | Baby Keet
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I’m dyslexic and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I’m tense.
When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, “Now I know why you named your daughter Hannah.”
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Bachelor cooking is a matter of attitude. If you think of it as setting fire to things and making a mess, it’s fun. However, it’s not so great if you think of it as dinner…
Nomenclature is an important part of bachelor cooking. If you call it “Italian cheese toast,” it’s not disgusting to have warmed-over pizza for breakfast.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
– Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
– Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”
– A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
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A woman from the most southern part of South Carolina goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written.
The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is a dollar per word. She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, just let it read, ‘Billy Bob died’.”
Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am there is a seven word minimum on all obituaries.” A little flustered, she thinks things over and replies, “In that case, let it read,
‘Billy Bob died – Red truck for sale’.
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I was examining cantaloupes at the grocery store and turned to the produce clerk, who was refilling the bins.
“Choosing a cantaloupe is like picking a mate for marriage,” I observed casually. “A person has no idea what he’s getting until it’s too late.”
“I know,” he replied. “I’ve had three cantaloupes.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: The Start of Christmas cards
~The first Christmas card also had various religious symbols. Sprigs of holly symbolized chastity, while ivy symbolized places God had walked. Feeding and clothing the poor were also encouraged on the card’s cover. Under the picture was written “A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you.”
~ A surge in Christmas cards came in the 1940s, courtesy of World War II. Friends and family, far away fighting, received cards with patriotic messages and symbols, like Uncle Sam. New technology allowed for more vivid cards.
~The year 2000 people relied on technology to order and send their Christmas cards, preventing the need to personally touch an envelope.
- The custom of sending greeting cards dates back to Ancient China. In order to celebrate the New Year, the ancient Chinese delighted in sending messages of good will. Early Egyptians utilized papyrus scrolls to send their greetings. New Year’s tidings were being produced in Germany as early as 1400.
- Cards were also a product of boys practicing their writing skills in England. The boys would practice by making cards for their parents.
~ John Callcott Horsley produced an illustration for the card that depicted a happy family hugging and toasting with their glasses raised. The drawing was disparaged by critics for promoting intoxication.
- The first official White House card was issued in the year of 1953 by President Eisenhower. 2000 cards were sent out by the White house in the year 1961. The amount grew to 1.4 million by the year 2005.
- Christmas cards are the most popular cards of a season. Christmas cards account for 60% of all card sales seconded by Valentine’s Day at 25%.
- The U.S. is home to approximately 3,000 greeting card publishers.
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LIFE LESSON: When you make a commitment to a relationship, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership of that relationship. – Barbara De Angelis
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: You can forget a lot of things, but you cannot forget a woman’s name and claim to love her. – Real Live Preacher
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