April 10, 2014

I would rather die of passion than of boredom. – ­Vincent van Gogh

TODAY – APRIL 10th – THURSDAY

100th day of 2014 with 265 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Cinnamon Crescent (Croissant) Day

*Golfer’s Day

*National Siblings Day

*Richard’s Canadian Citizenship Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1794 Matthew C. Perry, Newport, Rhode Island, Commodore of U.S. Navy (War of 1812, leading role in opening of Japan to the West, Father of the Steam Navy)
  • 1796 James “Jim” Bowie, Logan County, Kentucky, pioneer and soldier (prominent role in Texas Revolution, died in Battle of the Alamo)
  • 1829 William Booth, English Methodist preacher and founder of the Salvation Army
  • 1847 Joseph Pulitzer, Hungarian-American journalist and publisher (St. Louis Dispatch and New York World, best known for establishing the Pulitzer Prizes)
  • 1868 George Arliss, English actor (1st British actor to win Academy Award/ Disraeli, The Green Goddess)
  • 1887 Bernardo Houssay, Argentine physiologist (discovery of the role played by pituitary hormones in regulating the amount of blood sugar (glucose))
  • 1915 Harry Morgan, Detroit, Michicgan, actor (Colonel Sherman T. Potter in M*A*S*H, Officer Bill Gannon on Dragnet, December Bride, Hec Ramsey)
  • 1917 Robert Burns Woodward, Boston, Massachusetts, chemist (many key contributions to modern organic chemistry, especially in the synthesis and structure determination of complex natural products)
  • 1921 Chuck Connors, Brooklyn, New York, actor (Lucas McCain in The Rifleman, Old Yeller, The Big Country, Geronimo, Flipper, Branded, Dark Shadows, Soylent Green, Virus)
  • 1926 Junior Samples, Cumming, Georgia, southern comedian (Hee Haw)
  • 1927 Marshall Warren Nirenberg, New York City, New York, scientist (known for “breaking genetic code”)
  • 1932 Omar Sharif, Egyptian actor (Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago, Funny Girl, Hildago, One Night with the King)
  • 1936 John Madden, Austin, Minnesota, football coach and broadcaster on NFL telecasts
  • 1938 Don Meredith, Mount Vernon, Texas, football player (quarterback) and broadcaster, actor (Police Story)
  • 1941 Paul Theroux, Medford, Massachusetts, author (The Great Railway Bazaar, The Mosquito Coast, Blinding Light)
  • 1952 Steven Seagal, Lansing, Michigan, martial artist (1st foreigner to operate an Aikido dojo in Japan) and actor (Under Siege, Ond Deadly Ground, The Patriot, Exit Wounds)
  • 1954 Anne Lamott, San Francisco, California, author (Rosie, Crooked Little Heart, Blue Shoe)
  • 1954 Peter MacNicol, Dallas, Texas, actor (Ghostbusters II, Sophie’s Choice, Bean, Ally McBeal, 24, Chicago Hope, NUMB3RS)
  • 1957 John M. Ford, East Chicago, Indiana, science fiction author, game designer (Star Trek III, GURPS), and poet (The Dragon Waiting, The Final Reflection, How Much for Just the Planet?, Timesteps)
  • 1968 Orlando Jones, Mobile, Alabama, actor and comedian (MADtv, 7 Up spokesman, The Evidence, Bedazzled, Runaway Jury, Primeval)
  • 1980 Kasey Kahne, Enumclaw, Washington, race-car driver (NASCAR and Sprint Cup series)
  • 1982 Chyler Leigh, Charlotte, North Carolina, actress (Dr. Lexie Grey on Grey’s Anatomy, Not Another Teen Movie)
  • 1981 Michael Pitt, West Orange, New Jersey, actor (The Dreamers, Boardwalk Empire )
  • 1984 Mandy Moore, Nashua, New Hampshire, singer/actor (A Walk to Remember, Chasing Liberty, voice of Rapunzel in Tangled)
  • 1984 Cara DeLizia, Silver Spring, Maryland, actress (So Weird, Boston Public, Twins)
  • 1991 A.J. Michalka, Torrance, California, actress and singer (The Lovely Bones, Secretariat, The Guardian, Oliver Beene)

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It is never too late to be what you might have been. – George Eliot

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 837 Halley’s Comet and Earth experienced their closest approach to one another when their separating distance equalled 0.0342 AU (3.2 million miles).
  • 1606 The Charter of the Virginia Company of London is established by royal charter by James I of England with the purpose of establishing colonial settlements in North America.
  • 1816 The United States Government approves the creation of the Second Bank of the United States.
  • 1858 After the original Big Ben, a 14.5 tonne bell for the Palace of Westminster had cracked during testing, it is recast into the current 13.76 tonne bell by Whitechapel Bell Foundry.
  • 1865 American Civil War: A day after his surrender to Union forces, Confederate General Robert E. Lee addresses his troops for the last time.
  • 1866 The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) is founded in New York City by Henry Bergh.
  • 1874 The first Arbor Day is celebrated in Nebraska.
  • 1887 On Easter Sunday, Pope Leo XIII authorizes the establishment of The Catholic University of America.
  • 1912 The Titanic leaves port in Southampton, England for her first and only voyage.
  • 1916 The Professional Golfers Association of America (PGA) is created in New York City.
  • 1925 The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald is first published in New York City, by Charles Scribner’s Sons.
  • 1953 Warner Brothers premieres the first 3-D film from a major American studio, entitled House of Wax.
  • 1957 The Suez Canal is reopened for all shipping after being closed for three months.
  • 1972 Seventy-four nations sign the Biological Weapons Convention, the first multilateral disarmament treaty banning the production of biological weapons.
  • 1979 Red River Valley Tornado Outbreak: A tornado lands in Wichita Falls, Texas killing 42 people.
  • 1991 Italian ferry Moby Prince collides with an oil tanker in dense fog off Livorno, Italy killing 140.
  • 1991 A rare tropical storm develops in the South Atlantic Ocean near Angola; the first to be documented by satellites.

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A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him.

At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn’t run over the lawyer, so he swerved, but he heard a thump anyway. Looking back as he drove on, he didn’t see anything.

He began to apologize for his behavior to the priest. “I’m sorry, Father. I barely missed that lawyer at the side of the road.”

But the priest said, “Don’t worry, son. I got him with my door.”

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A father is in church with three of his young children, including his five year old daughter.
As was customary, he sat in the very front row so that the children could properly witness the service.
During this particular service, the minister was performing the baptism of a tiny infant. The little five year old girl was taken by this, observing that he was saying something and pouring water over the infant’s head.
With a quizzical look on her face, the little girl turned to her father and asked, “Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?”

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ONE-LINERS:

~If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

~I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

~Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

~My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.

~Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

~On the other hand, you have different fingers.

~I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.

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The eighty-year-old golfer joined the country club and asked to play a match with the pro. The pro said he would play with him and asked how many strokes he wanted for a bet. The old man answered, “I really don’t need any strokes because I’m an experienced player. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps.”

Even though it was his first time on the course, the octogenarian shot a steady par. Coming to the par-four eighteenth, the old guy and the pro were all even. The pro made a nice drive and was able to get on the green and two-putt for par. The old gentleman made a nice drive, too, but his approach shot landed in a sand trap next to the green.

Playing from the bunker, he hit a high ball that landed on the green and rolled into the hole! Birdie, match, and all the money.

The pro walked over to the sand trap where his opponent was still standing. “Nice shot,” complimented the pro, “but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps.”

“I do. Please give me a hand.”

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pic of the day: Time For Ewe To Rest

pic of sheep
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

The Centers for Disease Control recently announced that it has discovered an new viral infection that affects honeybees. The virus attacks the inner ear of the bee, causing it to stagger in its flight.

When the bee attempts to land on a blossom, it misses and hits the petal instead. This violent contact with the plant results in the transfer of the virus from the bee to the plant.

Once the plant is infected, it quickly withers and dies.

The CDC has named this virus “The Blight of the Fumble Bee.”

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I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game.

They eat so much game, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up wistfully and said, “Boy, it sure would be nice if pizzas lived in the woods.”

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Two guys applying for jobs at a large company had to take an intelligence test. After the test they met in a bar and compared notes.
“What did you say for the question that said to name a 14-letter word for someone in charge of a plant.”
“I thought it was tough at first, but then I thought of ‘Superintendent’.”
“Hmmm … I wonder who’s right. I wrote down ‘Horticulturist’.”

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A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that read, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!”
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. As the first driver sped past, he yelled, “Leave us alone…we don’t believe in that religious stuff!”
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. One clergyman said to the other, “Do you think we should just put up a sign that says, ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”

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The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he’d dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School.

The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, “Listen, ‘sir,’ it’s real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn’t come out even, don’t open the hatch.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: A new government study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” – Dale Carnegie

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