August 12, 2014

Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs. – Farrah Gray

TODAY – AUGUST 12th – TUESDAY

224th day of 2011 with 141 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Julienne Fries Day

*Middle Child’s Day

*International Youth Day

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PERSEID METEOR SHOWER: The annual Perseid meteor shower peaks tonight, Aug. 12-13, as Earth passes through a stream of debris from Comet Swift-Tuttle. Forecasters expect peak rates of 30 to 40 meteors per hour, less than usual because of the glare from the waning supermoon. Observing tips: To reduce the effects of moonlight, pick an observing site with clear, dry air. Also try watching the sky from the moonshadow of a tall building or other obstacle. Many Perseid fireballs will be visible in spite of the glare Check http://spaceweather.com for updates and observing tips.
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1696 Maurice Greene, English composer (the anthem Hearken Unto Me, Ye Holy Children, the oratorio The Song of Deborah and Barak)
  • 1856 “Diamond Jim” Brady, NYC, New York, financier / philanthropist
    1859 Katharine Lee Bates, Fairmouth, Massachusetts, poet (words for America The Beautiful, popularized Mrs. Santa Claus)
  • 1867 Edith Hamilton, German-American author and educator (The Greek Way, Mythology)
  • 1876 Mary Roberts Rinehart, Allegheny City, Pennsylvania, author (American Agathie Christie, “the butler did it”, created costumed supercriminal, The Bat)
  • 1881 Cecil B. DeMille, Ashfield, Massachusetts, film director (The 10 Commandments, Cleopatra, The Greatest Show On Earth)
  • 1885 Jean Cabannes, Massalia, France, physicist (found gases diffusing monochromatic light could also change their wavelength)
  • 1887 Erwin Schrödinger, Austrian physicist (Schrödinger-Newton equations, Schrödinger field, Rayleigh-Schrödinger perturbation)
  • 1889 Zerna Sharp, Hillisburg, Indiana, writer and educator (Dick and Jane books)
  • 1910 Jane Wyatt, Mahwah, New Jersey, actress (Father Knows Best/ Spock’s mother on Star Trek)
  • 1919 Vikram Sarabhai, Ahmedabad, India, physicist (father of the Indian space program)
  • 1925 Norris McWhirter, Winchmore Hill, London, England, Scottish co-founder of the Guinness Book of Records
  • 1925 Ross McWhirter, Winchmore Hill, London, England, twin of Norris and Scottish co-founder of the Guinness Book of Records
  • 1927 Porter Wagoner, West Plains, Missouri, country singer w/flashy suits
  • 1929 Buck Owens, Sherman, Texas, country singer (Buckeroos)
  • 1931 William Goldman, Chicago, Illinois, author, playwright, and screenwriter (Marathon Man, The Princess Bride)
  • 1937 Walter Dean Myers, Martinsburg, West Virginia, author and poet (Hoops, Fallen Angels, Scorpions)
  • 1939 George Hamilton, Memphis, Tennessee, actor (Where The Boys Are, Love At First Bite, Godfather III, Dancing w/the Stars)
  • 1946 Deborah Howe, Boston, Massachusetts, author (Bunnicula, Teddy Bear’s Scrapbook)
  • 1948 Sue Monk Kidd, Sylvester, Georgia, author (The Secret Life of Bees, The Mermaid Chair)
  • 1955 Ann M. Martin, Princeton, New Jersey, author (The Baby-Sitters Club series)
  • 1971 Pete Sampras, Lake Sherwood, California, tennis player (former World No. 1, won 14 Grand Slam singles)
  • 1975 Casey Affleck, Falmouth, Massachussetts, actor (Good Will Hunting, Ocean’s 11, The Assassination of Jesse James)
  • 1980 Maggie Lawson, Louisville, Kentucky, actress (Nancy Drew, Model Behavior)
  • 1993 Imani Hakim, Cleveland, Ohio, actress (Everybody Hates Chris)

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“Don’t think or judge, just listen.” – Sarah Dessen

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 30 BC Cleopatra VII Philopator, the last ruler of the Egyptian Ptolemaic dynasty, commits suicide allegedly by means of an asp bite.
  • 1833 Chicago is founded.
  • 1851 Isaac Singer is granted a patent for his sewing machine.
  • 1883 The last quagga dies at the Artis Magistra zoo in Amsterdam.
  • 1898 Armistice ends the Spanish-American War.
  • 1953 Nuclear weapons testing: the Soviet atomic bomb project continues with the detonation of Joe 4, the first Soviet thermonuclear weapon.
  • 1960 Echo I, the first communications satellite, launched.
  • 1964 South Africa is banned from the Olympic Games due to the country’s racist policies.
  • 1977 The first free flight of the Space Shuttle Enterprise.
  • 1977 Start of Sri Lankan riots of 1977, targeting the minority Sri Lankan Tamil people this riot started less than a month after the United National Party came to power, over 300 Tamils are killed.
  • 1978 Japan and the People’s Republic of China sign the Treaty of Peace and Friendship between Japan and the People’s Republic of China.
  • 1980 Signature of the Montevideo Treaty establishing the Latin American Integration Association.
  • 1981 The IBM Personal Computer is released.
  • 1982 Mexico announces it is unable to pay its enormous external debt, marking the beginning of a debt crisis that spreads to all of Latin America and the Third World.
  • 1994 Major League Baseball players go on strike. The work stoppage forces the cancellation of the 1994 World Series.
  • 2000 The Oscar class submarine K-141 Kursk of the Russian Navy explodes and sinks in the Barents Sea during a military exercise.
  • 2007 Bulk carrier M/V New Flame collides with oil tanker Torm Gertrud at the southernmost tip of Gibraltar, ending up partially submerged.

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Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our fourth arrived, he was much larger.

After delivery, the medical team began testing and measuring my new son. The last reading came from a nurse, who seemed impressed as she read, “Weight, nine pounds, eight ounces.”

My husband, a CPA in corporate finance who’d been quiet up to this point, could contain himself no longer.

“How about that!” my husband exclaimed happily.

“It’s 36.5% more baby!”

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Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone.

In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech.

“Mom, this is Susan and I’m sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I’m going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad’s car has a flat but it’s not my fault. Honest! I don’t know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don’t be mad, okay?”

Since I don’t have any daughters, I knew the person had dialed my number by mistake.

“I’m sorry dear,” I replied, “but you’ve reached the wrong number. I don’t have a daughter named Susan.”

“Wow, Mom,” the young woman’s voice replied, “I didn’t think you’d be this mad.”

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ONE-LINERS: Sports Commentators’ Quirky Quotes

– “And here’s Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.” (David Coleman)

– “We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.” (Murray Walker)

– After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: “We didn’t underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.” (Bobby Robson)

– Jimmy Hill: “Don’t sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: “I think it’s 50-50.”

– “I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost.” (Frank Bruno)

– “There’s going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes.” (David Coleman)

– “There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people.” (David Coleman)

– “The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.” (Murray Walker)

– From the interviewee: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” (Greg Norman)

– “There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious.” (Alan Minter)

– “Watch the time. It gives you an indication of how fast they are running.” (Ron Pickering)

– “Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers.” (Murray Walker)

– “A brain scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin.” (Jo Sheldon)

– “That’s inches away from being millimetre perfect.” (Ted Lowe)

– “I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right.” (Marlon Starling)

– “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” (Terry Venables)

– “The Queen’s Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round.” (Tony Crozier)

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One fine day, Brave Captain Smith and his crew of sailors were sailing the ocean blue. Suddenly, on the horizon, there loomed a ship with a skull & crossbones raised on the mast.

The crew was frantic, seeking refuge and asking the captain what to do. Brave Captain Smith looked at the approaching ship for a moment and said “Bring me my red shirt.”

The call was taken up at once by a cabin boy. As soon as Smith had the shirt in his possession, he ordered the man at the wheel to head straight for the pirate ship. In the ensuing fight, the pirate ship was all but destroyed.

The sailors were recounting their individual triumphs when someone asked Captain Smith why he had asked for his red shirt before the battle.

He responded “If I was wounded, I did not want your confidence to wane. This way, you would keep fighting no matter what happened to me.”

The crew had a new found admiration for its captain, and the crew talked all night about his bravery. About a week later, there loomed on the horizon TEN pirate ships. Once again, the crew looked to its captain for leadership. Calmly, Captain Smith said “Bring me my brown pants.”

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pic of the day: Giraffe

giraffe picture
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. He went to his pastor for counseling.

The Pastor asked, “Please describe your two loves.”

“Well, one is a great poet.”

“And the other?”

“The other makes delicious pancakes.”

“I see,” the Pastor wisely observed. “So, you can’t decide whether to marry for batter or for verse.”
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The little boy had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat. He started to turn blue and his mother ran out in the street yelling for help.

A policeman tried but couldn’t dislodge the coin.

A nurse just happened to be passing by. He tried his best but the coin stayed put.

Finally a man passing by took the boy by his shoulders and hit him with a few strong strokes on the back. The coin came out and the boy started breathing again, none the worse for wear.

The boy’s mother started, “I don’t know how to thank you, Doctor …”

“Oh, I’m not a doctor.”

“You’re not?!?”

“No, I’m from the IRS.”

(Yep, they know how to make people cough it up…. )

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Another Punny. . . An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.

“What did you do that for?” Asked a passing giraffe.

“Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago.”

“Wow, what a memory” commented the giraffe.

“Yes,” said the elephant, “turtle recall”.

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A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, ”Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, ”Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, ”Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, ”Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, ”If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt!”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: I must be following my diet too closely. I keep gaining on it.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . “The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

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