Jokes and Trivia for June 14, 2012

A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more.

TODAY – JUNE 14th – THURSDAY

166th day of 2012 with 200 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Flag Day (US)

* Pop Goes the Weasel Day

* National Strawberry Shortcake Day

* World Blood Donor Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  •  1811 Harriet Beecher Stowe, Litchfield, Connecticut, author (Uncle Tom’s Cabin)
  •  1820 John Bartlett, Plymouth, Maine, editor (compiled Familiar Quotations)
  •  1864 Alois Alzheimer, Germany, psychiatrist/pathologist (Alzheimer Disease)
  •  1906 Margaret Bourke-White, Bronx, New York, photojournalist (1st Western photographer allowed in Soviet Union, 1st female photojournalist for Life magazine, 1st female war correspondent allow to work in combat zones)
  •  1909 Burl Ives, Hunt, Illinois, folk singer/actor (Cat on a Hot Tin Roof; voice of snowman on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer classic)
  • 1916 Dorothy McGuire, Omaha, Nebraska, actress (A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, Gentleman’s Agreement, Old Yeller, Swiss Family Robinson)
  •   1921 Gene Barry, New York City, New York, actor (Bat Masterson, Name of the Game, Burke’s Law)
  •  1931 Marla Gibbs, Chicago, Illinoia, actress (Florence-Jeffersons, Mary-227)
  • 1946 Donald Trump, Queens, New York, The Apprentice/ master builder (Trump Towers/Plaza/Castle)
  • 1948 Laurence Yep, San Francisco, California, author (Dragon’s Gate, Dragonwings, The Chinatown Mysteries, Child of the Owl, The Rainbow People)
  • 1949 Harry Turtledove, Los Angeles, California, author (SciFi/Alternate History series: World War, Colonization, Southern Victory; Darkness, Hellenic Traders)
  • 1954 Will Patton, Charleston, South Carolina, actor (A Mighty Heart, Remember the Titans, No Way Out, Ballzaire the Cajun)
  • 1966 Traylor Howard, Orlando, Florida, actress (Monk, Two Guys & A Girl)
  • 1969 Steffi Graf, West Germany, tennis player (Grand Slam 1988)
  • 1982 Lang Lang, Chinese pianist (1999, at age 17, played Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1 with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.  Played with many orchestras including Boston Symphony, Houston Symphony; in London, Berlin, Sweden Israel, Australia, etc.  Also a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador.)

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To hear complaints with patience, even when complaints are vain, is one of the duties of friendship. – Dr Samuel Johnson

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1775 The United States Army was founded by the Continental Congress.
  • 1777 The Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopted the “Stars and Stripes” as the national flag of the United States.
  • 1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his reaping machine.
  • 1893 Philadelphia observed the first Flag Day
  • 1900 Hawaii became a U.S. territory.
  • 1922 Warren G. Harding became the first U.S. president to be heard on radio. The event was the dedication of the Francis Scott Key memorial at Fort McHenry.
  • 1937 Pennsylvania becomes the first (and only) state of the United States to celebrate Flag Day officially as a state holiday.
  • 1938 Action Comics issues the first Superman comic.
  • 1940 A group of 728 Polish political prisoners from Tarn�w become the first residents of the Auschwitz concentration camp.
  • 1951 “Univac I” was unveiled. It was a computer designed for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world’s first commercial computer.
  • 1952 The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear powered submarine.
  • 1967 Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space probe’s flight took it past Venus.
  • 2002 Twelve are killed and 50 injured by a car bomb explosion in front of the U.S. consulate in Karachi, Pakistan.

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A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. “Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons?” he asked.

“Well, I think I do.” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

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Q: If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A: No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A: Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

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ONE-LINERS: The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that either.
16 YEARS OF AGE Mother, She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE That old woman, She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE Wish I could talk it over with Mom once more.

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pic of the day: Ah, the bouquet of bird! Like a fine wine!

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A symphony orchestra is performing Beethoven’s 9th in the park. It’s so windy that the music sheets need to be tied down so they won’t blow away.

The tuba players just did their first bit, and they won’t need to perform for a while, so they go to the bar across the street to get some drinks. Finally they hear that their next part coming soon, so they go back across the street. But they’re so drunk, they can’t untie the music!

So the conductor looks over, and sees the tuba players, stumbling over each other trying to untie the music. He freaks out and thinks, “Oh no! It’s the bottom of the ninth, the basses are loaded, and the score is tied!”

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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

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CHURCH OXYMORONS (An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines contradictory terms.)

~ Brief meeting

~ Preacher’s day off

~ Clear calendar

~ Volunteer waiting list

~ Concluding remarks

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: BLOOD TRIVIA

~Everyone has a blood type. O is the most common of the four blood types.  AB is the rarest.

~Did you know that aside from AB, There are still subgroups of the 4 major blood types that are rarer still.  There is a blood type A-H.  Only three people are known to have this type.

~There is a diet on the market today which claims that the secret to success is matching the type of food you eat with your blood type.

~An individual blood cell takes about 60 seconds to make a complete circuit of the body.  So if you feel like you’re running around in circles sometimes, perhaps it’s because you are.

~Healthy people can donate blood every 56 days since a healthy body replenishes the blood lost by donating.  If you began donating at age 17 and donated every 56 days  until you reached age 83, you would have donated over 50 gallons of blood.

~The early Egyptians and Romans prescribed giving blood orally as a life-giving tonic and to transmit youth from donor to recipient.

~Mr. Spock on Star Trek was said to have T-negative blood.

~ Blood Type and RH: How Many People Have It?
*  O Positive: 40 out 100
*  O Negative: 7 out of 100
*  A Positive: 34 out of 100
*  A Negative: 6 out of 100
*  B Positive: 8 out of 100
*  B Negative: 1 out of 100
*  AB Positive: 3 out of 100
*  AB Negative:1 out 200

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we should dance.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. – Benjamin Franklin