Jokes and Trivia for November 26, 2012

OUR life is the creation of OUR mind. – Buddha

TODAY – NOVEMBER 26th- MONDAY

331st day of 2012 with 35 to  follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Cake Day

*Shopping Reminder Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1832 Karl Rudolf König, Königsberg, Prussia,  physicist (chiefly concerned with acoustic phenomena)
  • 1876 Willis Carrier, Angola, New York,  engineer and inventor (invented modern air conditioning)
  • 1898 Karl Ziegler, Kassel, German Empire, chemist, Nobel Prize laureate, known for his work involving free-radicals, many-membered rings, and organometallic compounds, as well as the development of Ziegler-Natta catalyst
  • 1933 Robert Goulet, Lawrence, Massachusetts,  singer and actor, est known for originating the role of Lancelot in the 1960 Broadway musical Camelot and his numerous appearances in Las Vegas
  • 1944 Jean Terrell, Belzoni, Mississippi,  singer (The Supremes)
  • 1963 Adam Gaynor, Orlando, Florida, musician (Matchbox Twenty)
  • 1974 Tammy Lynn Michaels, Lafayette, Indiana,  actress (Popular and guest-starred on the Showtime drama The L Word)
  • 1983 Chris Hughes, Hickory, North Carolina,  businessman, co-founder of Facebook
  • 1986 Trevor Morgan, Chicago, Illinois,  actor (Genius, The Sixth Sense, The Patriot, A Rumor of Angels, Jurassic Park III, The Glass House )

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The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. ― Mark Twain

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1784 The Catholic Apostolic Prefecture of the United States established.
  • 1789 A national Thanksgiving Day is observed in the United States as recommended by President George Washington and approved by Congress.
  • 1805 Official opening of Thomas Telford’s Pontcysyllte Aqueduct.
  • 1863 President Abraham Lincoln proclaims November 26 as a national Thanksgiving Day, to be celebrated annually on the final Thursday of November (since 1941, on the fourth Thursday).
  • 1922 Toll of the Sea debuts as the first general release film to use two-tone Technicolor (The Gulf Between is the first film to do so but it is not widely distributed).
  • 1939 Shelling of Mainila: The Soviet Army orchestrates the incident which is used to justify the start of the Winter War with Finland four days later.
  • 1986 Iran-Contra scandal: U.S. President Ronald Reagan announces the members of what will become known as the Tower Commission.
  • 1990 The Delta II rocket makes its maiden flight.
  • 1991 National Assembly of Azerbaijan abolishes the autonomous status of Nagorno-Karabakh Autonomous Oblast of Azerbaijan and renames several cities back to their original names.
  • 1998 Tony Blair becomes the first Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to address the Republic of Ireland’s parliament.
  • 2003 Concorde makes its final flight, over Bristol, England.

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Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform in bed. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, “I can cure this.” That said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then he says, “This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say ‘123’”

The guy then asks, “What happens when I want the effect to go away.”

The medicine man replies: “All you or your partner has to say is 1234. But be warned – it will not work again for another year.”

Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers.

That night he is ready to surprise Joyce. He showers, shaves, and puts on his best shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, “123.” It works better than he thought.

Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, “What did you say 123 for?”

And now you know why you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition.

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ONE-LINERS: About Dogs…

1) The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue – Anonymous

2) Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful – Ann Landers

3) If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went – Will Rogers

4) There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face – Ben Williams

5) A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself – Josh Billings

6) The average dog is a nicer person than the average person – Andy Rooney

7) We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made – M. Acklam

8) Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate – Sigmund Freud

9) I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult – Rita Rudner  ♪A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down – Robert Benchley

10) Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog – Franklin P. Jones

11) If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons – James Thurber

12) If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise – Anonymous

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

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Two guys were walking their dogs-one had a German Shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the Shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man said, “They’re not going to let dogs into the bar.”

The first guy said, “No? Watch this.”

So he put on some dark glasses, acted like the German Shepherd was a seeing-eye dog, walked into the bar, and ordered a drink. And no one said anything. So the second guy took out some dark glasses, slipped them on, and walked his Chihuahua into the bar.

The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t allow dogs in here.”

And the man said, “It’s okay. It’s my seeing-eye dog.”

The bartender laughed and said, “This Chihuahua is your seeing-eye dog?”

And the guy said, “They gave me a Chihuahua?”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: CAKES

~Did you know that the word “cake” comes from the Old Norse word, “kaka,” meaning a baked flour confection?

~Celtic people celebrate a festival by name Beltane festival. During this festival, they lit bonfires atop a hill and will roll down round cakes from the hill. If the cake doesn’t break, they believe it will bring good fortune.

~Cakes definitely play a major role during wedding, but how these wedding ceremonies were completed during ancient times? They either break a big bread loaf on top of the bride’s head or simply throw pieces of bread on her.

~Stack cakes. Have you heard about it? According to dictionary.com, stack is a more or less orderly pile or heap.

~It is believed that these cakes are present since the bygone era. During the first Olympic Games, athletes were given cheesecakes.

~ In England, people believed that keeping fruitcakes under the pillow of those who are unmarried will give them sweet dreams about their fiancée. It was in the 17th century when that news became a bomb.

~One of the legend of red velvet cake : “Long ago, a women ate “red velvet cake’ in a restaurant and she liked it very much. She asked for the recipe and the restaurant promptly sent the recipe to her. She got furious when she received the recipe that she asked for; do you know why? She was charged $100 for asking this recipe. You know what she did? She sent this recipe as chain mail to hundreds and thousands of people she knew as revenge.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public – George Jessel.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. – Neil deGrasse Tyson