Jokes and Trivia for December 26, 2012

The fountain of beautyis the heart and every generous thought illustrates the walls of your chamber. – Francis Quarles

TODAY – DECEMBER 26th – WEDNESDAY

361st day of 2012 with 5 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Candy Cane Day

*Boxing Day

*Mauro Hamza Day (Houston, Texas / Mauro Hamza is the United States Fencing Association Foil Director)

*Kwanzaa, first day (celebrated until January 1)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1780 Mary Fairfax Somerville, Jedburgh, British mathematician (second woman scientist to receive recognition in the United Kingdom after Caroline Herschel)
  • 1791 Charles Babbage, London, England,  English mathematician and inventor (Considered a “father of the computer”)
  • 1891 Henry Miller, Yorkville, Manhattan, New York City, author (writing style is a mixture of novel, autobiography, social criticism, philosophical reflection, surrealist free association, and mysticism, that is distinctly always about the real-life Henry Miller and yet is also fictional)
  • 1914 Richard Widmark, Sunrise Township, Minnesota, actor (Kiss of Death)
  • 1921 Steve Allen, New York City, New York, comedian (the first host of The Tonight Show)
  • 1935 Abdul “Duke” Fakir, Detroit, Michigan, singer (The Four Tops)
  • 1940 Edward C. Prescott, Glens Falls, New York, economist (Nobel /dynamic macroeconomics: the time consistency of economic policy and the driving forces behind business cycles)
  • 1942 Catherine Coulter, Cameron County, Texas, author (series: Baron, The Bride, The Legacy; The Magic Trilogy)
  • 1949 Bob Hartman, Lyons, New York, Christian artist, guitarist, writer and songwriter (Petra)
  • 1960 Jim Toomey, Alexandria, Virginia, syndicated cartoonist (Sherman’s Lagoon)
  • 1970 James Mercer, Honolulu, Hawaii, musician (The Shins)
  • 1971 Jared Leto, Bossier City, Louisiana, actor and singer (30 Seconds to Mars)
  • 1974 Tiffany Brissette, Paradise, California, TV actress (Small Wonder )
  • 1974 Joshua John Miller, Los Angeles, California, actor (Family Ties, Growing Pains, 21 Jump Street, and The Wonder Years )
  • 1979 Chris Daughtry, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina, singer (fourth-place finalist on the fifth season of American Idol)

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It’s a kind of radiance.  People who possess a true inner beauty, their eyes are a little brighter, their skin a little more dewy.  They vibrate at a difference frequency. – Cameron Diaz

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1776 American Revolutionary War: The British are defeated in the Battle of Trenton.
  • 1799 Four thousand people attend George Washington’s funeral where Henry Lee declares him as “first in war, first in peace and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
  • 1811 A theater fire in Richmond, Virginia kills the Governor of Virginia George William Smith and the president of the First National Bank of Virginia Abraham B. Venable.
  • 1861 American Civil War: The Trent Affair: Confederate diplomatic envoys James M. Mason and John Slidell are freed by the United States government, thus heading off a possible war between the United States and Britain.
  • 1862 American Civil War: The Battle of Chickasaw Bayou begins.
  • 1862 Four nuns serving as volunteer nurses on board USS Red Rover are the first female nurses on a U.S. Navy hospital ship.
  • 1862 The largest mass-hanging in U.S. history took place in Mankato, Minnesota, 38 Native Americans die.
  • 1871 Gilbert and Sullivan collaborate for the first time, on their lost opera, Thespis. It does modestly well, but the two would not collaborate again for four years.
  • 1919 Babe Ruth of the Boston Red Sox is sold to the New York Yankees by owner Harry Frazee.
  • 1933 FM radio is patented.
  • 1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs a bill establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day in the United States.
  • 1982 Time Magazine‘s Man of the Year is for the first time a non-human, the personal computer.
  • 1986 The first long-running American television soap opera, Search for Tomorrow, airs its final episode after 35 years on the air.

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During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Excited, I wrote down my phone number.

Looking startled for a moment, he flipped the napkin over and drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper left
hand corner.

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Doctor to patient: “Tell me about your physical activity level.”

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I walked about four miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake, I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes, eyes and hair. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a couple of beers.”

“You must be one heck of an outdoorsman!”

“Actually, I’m not. I’m just a lousy golfer.”

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ONE-LINERS:

~”Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.” – Jack Benny

~”It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” – Babe Ruth

~”Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.” – Lee Trevino

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pic of the day:

picture of dog running

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A German farmer with relatives in the US promised them some fresh pork sausages made by hand from his very own stock of pigs.

But as the weeks went by, they gave him a call to complain that the package had not yet arrived.

He told them, “Don’t worry. The wurst is yet to come.”

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I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!

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A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat runs away.

“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: CANDY CANE

~For 200 years, the candy cane came only in one color — white. The original candy cane had a shape different then the modern day design. It was straight, all white, and hard.

~National Candy Cane Day is celebrated December 26th in the United States

~The world’s largest candy cane was created by Paul Ghinelli and measured 58 feet 2 1/4 inches

~Each year 1.76 billion candy canes are made — enough to stretch from Santa Clause, IN to North Pole, AK and back again 32 times

~A candy cane turned upside down reveals the letter J, which many believe represents Jesus.

~A German immigrant from Wooster, Ohio decorated his Christmas tree with candy canes.

~The red and white striped candy canes were first made around 1900.

~Candy canes are sometimes as a topping for foods such as ice cream or as an additive to drinks such as hot chocolate. They are hung as decorations on Christmas Trees.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: You can’t be truly rude until you understand good manners – Rita Mae Brown.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it’s the size of the fight in the dog.Dwight D. Eisenhower