Jokes and Trivia for November 8, 2012

We think about all of our tomorrows, but we don’t know how many they are, so let’s start making the most of our Todays! – Ivana Trump

TODAY – NOVEMBER 8th – THURSDAY

313th day of 2011 with 53 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Cook Something Bold Day

*Dunce Day

*National Cappuccino Day

*National Harvey Wallbanger Day

*World Urbanism Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1656 Edmond Halley, Haggerston, Shoreditch, London, England,  astronomer and mathematician (computed the orbit of the eponymous Halley’s comet)
  • 1836 Milton Bradley, Vienna, Maine, lithographer and game manufacturer
  • 1847 Bram Stoker, Dublin, Ireland, author (Dracula)
  • 1868 Felix Hausdorff, Breslau, Germany,  mathematician (one of the founders of modern topology; set theory, descriptive set theory, measure theory, function theory, and functional analysis)
  • 1900 Margaret Mitchell, Atlanta, Georgia, author (Gone with the Wind)
  • 1908 Martha Gellhorn, St. Louis, Missouri , writer (Travels With Myself and Another)
  • 1922 Christiaan (Neethling) Barnard, Cape Province, Union of South Africa, surgeon (performed the world’s first human heart transplant operation)
  • 1923 Jack Kilby, Jefferson City, Missouri, electrical engineer (invented  the integrated circuit)
  • 1927 Patti Page, Claremont, Oklahoma, singer (Tennessee Waltz)
  • 1929 Bobby Bowden, Birmingham, Alabama, retired college football coach (NCAA record for most career wins and bowl wins by a Division / FBS coach – coached Florida State Seminoles from 1976-2009)
  • 1932 Ben Bova, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, author & editor (The Astral Mirror, Battle Station, Exiled from Earth, Sam Gunn, Voyagers / 6 Hugo Awards for editor of Analog Science Fiction)
  • 1936 Edward G Gibson, Buffalo, New York, scientist, former astronaut (Skylab 4)
  • 1947 Margaret Rhea Seddon, Murfreesboro, Tennessee, physician /former astronaut (STS 51D, STS 40, STS-58)
  • 1948 Dale A Gardner, Fairmont, Minnesota, former USN/astronaut (STS 8, STS 51A)
  • 1949 Bonnie Raitt, Burbank, California, singer/guitarist (Green Light, The Glow, Thing Called Love)
  • 1961 Leif Garrett, Hollywood, California, singer / actor (Surfin’ USA, Memorize Your Number / Walking Tall, Family)
  • 1966 Gordon Ramsay, Scotland, chef and reality television personality (Hell’s Kitchen)
  • 1975 Tara Reid, Wyckoff, New Jersey,  actress (American Pie, Alone in the Dark)
  • 1977 Bucky Covington, Rockingham, North Carolina,  entertainer (A Different World)
  • 1981 Azura Skye, Northridge, Los Angeles,  actress (Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane)

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Your work is to discover your work and then, with all your heart, to give yourself to it. – Buddha

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1793 In Paris, the French Revolutionary government opens the Louvre to the public as a museum.
  • 1861  The USS San Jacinto stops the United Kingdom mail ship Trent and arrests two Confederate envoys, sparking a diplomatic crisis between the UK and US.
  • 1889 Montana is admitted as the 41st U.S. state.
  • 1895 Wilhelm Rontgen discovers x-rays.
  • 1932 Franklin Delano Roosevelt is elected the 32d President of the United States defeating Herbert Hoover.
  • 1933 US President Franklin D. Roosevelt unveils the Civil Works Administration, an organization designed to create jobs for more than 4 million of the unemployed.
  • 1950 Korean War: United States Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shoots down two North Korean MiG-15s in the first jet aircraft-to-jet aircraft dogfight in history.
  • 1960 John F. Kennedy is elected over Richard M. Nixon (youngest man elected to that office – age 43; also first Roman Catholic president).
  • 1966 Former Massachusetts Attorney General Edward Brooke becomes the first African American elected to the United States Senate.
  • 1966 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson signs into law an antitrust exemption allowing the National Football League to merge with the upstart American Football League.
  • 1973 The right ear of John Paul Getty III is delivered to a newspaper together with a ransom note, convincing his father to pay 2.9 million USD.
  • 1976 A series of earthquakes spreads panic in the city of Thessaloniki, which is evacuated.
  • 1977 Manolis Andronikos, a Greek archaeologist and professor at the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki, discovers the tomb of Philip II of Macedon at Vergina.
  • 1987 Remembrance Day Bombing: A Provisional IRA bomb explodes in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland during a ceremony honouring those who had died in wars involving British forces. Twelve people are killed and sixty-three wounded.
  • 1988 George Bush (R) beats Mike Dukakis (D) for Presidency.
  • 1994 For the first time in 40 years the United States Republican Party takes control of both the House of Representatives and the Senate in midterm congressional elections.
  • 2002 The United Nations Security Council unanimously approves a resolution on Iraq, forcing Saddam Hussein to disarm or face “serious consequences”.
  • 2003 The Harris Theater opens, commencing a renaissance in the Chicago performing arts community.

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A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc can I ask you a question?” The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open it up, take valves out, fix’em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, “Try doing it while it’s running.”

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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, ‘I bet I know what it is – it’s some flowers!’

‘That’s right!’ shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. ‘I bet I know what it is – it’s a box of candy!’

‘That’s right!’ shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. ‘Is it wine?’ she asked.

‘No,’ the boy answered.

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. ‘Is it champagne?’ she asked.

‘No,’ the boy answered.

Finally, the teacher said, ‘I give up. What is it?’

The boy replied, ‘A puppy!’

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ONE-LINERS: EVER WONDER…..

…why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

…why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

…why you don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

…why “abbreviated” is such a long word?

…why doctors call what they do “practice”?

…why you have to click on “Start” to stop Windows 98?

…why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

…why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

…why there isn’t mouse-flavored cat food?

…who tastes dog food when it has a “new &improved” flavor?

…why Noah didn’t swat those two mosquitoes?

…why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

…why they don’t make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

…why sheep don’t shrink when it rains?

…why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

…if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

…why they call the airport “the terminal” if flying is so safe?

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pic of the day: Rainy day at the beach

pic of beach

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

YOU TELL ‘EM

You Tell ’em salad, I’m dressing.

You tell ’em, coffee, you’ve got the grounds.

You tell ’em, Post Office, I can’t express it.

You tell ’em, toothache, you’ve got the nerve.

You tell ’em, Doctor, you’ve got the patients.

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A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, “Do you believe in the Devil?”

“No,” said Little Johnny. “It’s the same as Santa Claus. I know it’s my daddy.”

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An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

“Yes, Dad, what is it?”

“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn’t go well – if something happens to me – your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Cappuccino Lover?

~History tells us the coffee plant came from Ethiopia about 2,000 years ago.

~Explorers began exporting coffee to Arabia when they learned the plant offered health benefits.

~Cappuccino is a popular Italian drink. Its name came from the robe color of Capuchin friars, which is light or darkish brown with a white hood.

~ In Italy , Italians only take cappuccino during breakfast and on night outs. In other parts of the world, people take cappuccino anytime of the day.

~For many years, cappuccino was popular only in Australia, Europe and some parts of North America. It wasn’t until 1990 that cappuccino shops opened their doors in all parts of North America and the Middle East.

~In the early parts of the 21st century, fast-food chains adapted versions of the cappuccino. Doughnut retailers began to offer iced cappuccino.

~Coffee lovers must be aware that coffee also has harmful effects to health. Too much coffee

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QUIP OF THE DAY: A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. – Bob Edwards

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust. – Henry L. Stimson