Jokes and Trivia for February 20, 2013

Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement. – Brian Tracy, Eat that Frog

TODAY – FEBRUARY 20th – WEDNESDAY

51st day of 2013 with 314 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Cherry Pie Day

*Love Your Pet Day

*World Day of Social Justice

*Hoodie Hoo Day (chase away winter by going outside at noon, waving your hands over your head & shouting Hoodie-Hoo!)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1759 Johann Christian Reil, German physician, founder of psychiatry (Islands of Reil in cerebral cortex named after him, described arcuate fasciculus and locus coeruleus)
  • 1902 Ansel Adams, San Francisco, California, photographer and conservationist (known for his black and white photographs of the American west, especially Yosemite National Park)
  • 1924 Gloria Vanderbilt, New York City, New York, socialite and clothing designer (early developer of designer blue jeans)
  • 1926 Richard Matheson, Allendale, New Jersey, author (What Dreams May Come, The Incredible Shrinking Man, I Am Legend)
  • 1927 Sidney Poitier, Miami, Florida, actor (Lilies of the Field, To Sir With Love, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner)
  • 1934 Bobby Unser, Colorado Springs, Colorado, retired racing driver (won Indianapolis 500 three times)
  • 1937 Robert Huber, Munich, German chemist (known for Cyanobacteria Crystallography)
  • 1937 Roger Penske, Shaker Heights, Ohio, racing driver, race team owner and entrepreneur (winner race in late 1950s, owns Penske Racing team, Penske Corporation)
  • 1938 Richard Beymer, Avoca, Iowa, actor (West Side Story, Twin Peaks)
  • 1945 Brion James, Redlands, California, actor (Leon Kowalski in Blade Runner; 48 hours, Silverado, The Fifth Element)
  • 1946 Sandy Duncan, Henderson, Texas, singer and actress (Broadway / Peter Pan, sitcom The Hogan Family)
  • 1946 J. Geils, New York City, New York, guitarist (The J. Geils Band)
  • 1947 Peter Strauss, Croton-on-Hudson, New York, actor (Kane and Abel, The Jericho Mile, Masada, Soldier Blue, The Secret of NIMH)
  • 1949 Ivana Trump, Czech-born American socialite, fashion model, author (former wife of Donald Trump)
  • 1950 Walter Becker, Queens, New York, guitarist (Steely Dan)
  • 1951 Edward Albert, Los Angeles, California, actor (Butterflies Are Free, Midway, Beauty and the Beast tv series, Guarding Tess)
  • 1953 Poison Ivy, San Bernardino, California), musician (The Cramps)
  • 1954 Jon Brant, Chicago, musician (Cheap Trick)
  • 1956 Charlie Adler, Boston, Massachusetts, voice actor (The Smurfs, I Am Weasel, Rocko’s Modern Life, Decepticon Starscream in Transformer films)
  • 1963 Ian Brown, Warrington, England, English singer (The Stone Roses)
  • 1964 French Stewart, Albuquerque, New Mexico, actor (3rd Rock from the Sun)
  • 1966 Cindy Crawford, DeKalb, Illinois, model
  • 1967 Kurt Cobain, Aberdeen, Washington, musician (Nirvana) (d. 1994)
  • 1975 Brian Littrell, Lexington, Kentucky, singer (Backstreet Boys)
  • 1988 Rihanna, Saint Michael, Barbados, Barbadian singer

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1685 René-Robert Cavelier establishes Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay thus forming the basis for France’s claim to Texas.
  • 1792 The Postal Service Act, establishing the United States Post Office Department, is signed by President George Washington.
  • 1816 Rossini’s opera The Barber of Seville premieres at the Teatro Argentina in Rome.
  • 1864 American Civil War: Battle of Olustee occurs – the largest battle fought in Florida during the war.
  • 1872 In New York City the Metropolitan Museum of Art opens.
  • 1873 The University of California opens its first medical school in San Francisco, California.
  • 1877 Tchaikovsky’s ballet Swan Lake receives its premiere performance at the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow.
  • 1901 The legislature of Hawaii Territory convenes for the first time.
  • 1931 The Congress of the United States approves the construction of the San Francisco – Oakland Bay Bridge by the state of California.
  • 1933 The Congress of the United States proposes the Twenty-first Amendment to the United States Constitution that will end Prohibition in the United States.
  • 1935 Caroline Mikkelsen becomes the first woman to set foot in Antarctica.
  • 1942 Lieutenant Edward O’Hare becomes America’s first World War II flying ace.
  • 1943 American movie studio executives agree to allow the Office of War Information to censor movies.
  • 1943 The Saturday Evening Post publishes the first of Norman Rockwell’s Four Freedoms in support of United States President Franklin Roosevelt’s 1941 State of the Union address theme of Four Freedoms.
  • 1962 Aboard Friendship 7, John Glenn becomes the first American to orbit the earth, making three orbits in 4 hours, 55 minutes.
  • 1965 Ranger 8 crashes into the moon after a successful mission of photographing possible landing sites for the Apollo program astronauts.
  • 1998 American figure skater Tara Lipinski becomes the youngest gold-medalist at the Winter Olympics in Nagano, Japan.
  • 2005 Spain becomes the first country to vote in a referendum on ratification of the proposed Constitution of the European Union, passing it by a substantial margin, but on a low turnout.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Sometimes those who try and pull rank get their come-uppance. One foggy night, a United States Aircraft Carrier was cruising off the coast of Newfoundland and the junior radar operator spotted a light in the gloom.  Here is a transcript of what happened next.

The radar operator worked out that a collision was likely unless the other vessel changed course.  So he sent a radio message.
“U.S. Aircraft Carrier Radar Officer: Please divert your course at least 7 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.”

Back came the reply, “You must be joking, I recommend you divert your course instead.”

The U.S. Radar Officer referred the matter to his superior officer.  And reported the incident as insubordination. As a result the  Captain of the Air Craft Carrier sent a second message.  “I believe that I out rank you, and am giving you a direct order to divert your course now!!!”

Canadian Radio Operator: “This is a lighthouse.  I suggest you take evasive action.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A traveling salesman stopped alongside a fence on a country road to rest a few minutes.

A horse came to the fence and began to boast about his past. “Yes sir, I’m a fine horse. I’ve run in 25 races and won over $5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn.”

The astonished salesman ran to find the horse’s owner and offered a handsome sum for the animal.

“Oh, you don’t want that horse,” said the farmer.

“Yes I do,” said the salesman, “and I’ll give you $10,000 for him.”

The farmer said without hesitation, “He’s yours.”

While he wrote out his check, the salesman asked, “By the way, why wouldn’t I want your horse?”

“Because,” said the farmer, “He’s a liar – he hasn’t won a race in his life.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: POLITICAL QUOTES

“When you’re talking to me, keep your mouth shut.”

“Let’s do this in one foul swoop.”

“I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves in this session.”

“We’ll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger.”

“I would like to take this time to reirritate my remarks.”

“I resent your insinuendoes.”

“If we don’t make some changes, the status quo will remain the same.”

“We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.”

“I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.” — Dan Quayle

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Squirrel Eating

picture of red squirrel

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

One evening while I was complaining about my bad exercise habits and tight clothes, my four-year old daughter decided to pick up my spirits, as she often does.

This time she coined a new word for me. She said, “Oh no, Mommy, you look flabulous!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A very angry golfer was on his way to carding a round of 150. He turned to his caddy and said,” You must be the worst caddy in the world.”

“That would be too much of a coincidence, sir,” answered the caddy in a quiet voice.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Greg, the three year old, put his shoes on by himself. His father, Barry, noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot and vice-versa. He sat Greg down on a chair and said quietly, ‘Greg, your shoes are on the wrong feet.’

He looked up at his father with a quizzical expression and replied, ‘Don’t mess me about, Dad, I know they’re my feet.’

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Laws for Parents

– A child’s behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.

– Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.

– The choice of a preschooler’s best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.

– The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.

– A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year—unless it is the only food in the fridge.

– The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Cherry Info 

~Traverse City is called the Cherry Capital of the World.

~Eau Claire, Michigan, is known as the Cherry Pit Spitting Capital of the World.

~Seventy percent of the cherries (both sweet and tart) produced in the United States come from four states (Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and Utah).

~The earliest known mention of cherries is in Theophrastus (372-272 B.C.) ‘History of Plants’, in which he indicated that cherries had been cultivated for hundreds of years in Greece.

~The cherry is the state fruit of Utah.

~Kane, Pennsylvania, is the Black Cherry Capital of the World

~At one time it was against the law to serve ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.

~Canada holds the record for baking the biggest cherry pie in the world. A pie weighing 39,683 pounds was baked in Oliver, British Columbia which broke the record that was earlier held by Traverse City.

~Traverse City, Michigan celebrates the annual National Cherry Festival since 1925. Grand Royale Parade with the Cherry Queen is the major attractions of the festival.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

QUIP OF THE DAY: I think the political correctness is getting ridiculous. Today I overheard a little boy say he was going to go play a game of Cattle Management Specialists and Native Americans.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God. – Mary Manin Morrissey