Jokes and Trivia for March 19, 2013

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. – John Quincy Adams


79th day of 2013 with 287  to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Poultry Day

*National Chocolate Caramel Day

*National Agriculture Day



  • 1813 David Livingstone, Scottish missionary and explorer in Africa
  • 1821 Richard Francis Burton, British explorer, diplomat and author (known for exploring Asia, Africa and the Americas; spoke 29 languages)
  • 1848 Wyatt Earp, Monmouth, Illinois, marshall (Gunfight at the O.K. Corral)
  • 1864 Charles Marion Russell, St. Louis, Missouri, artist (Old American West; more than 2,000 paintings of cowboys, Indians & landscapes from Western United States)
  • 1883 Walter Haworth, Chorley, Lancashire, England, British chemist, best known for his groundbreaking work on ascorbic acid (vitamin C)
  • 1900 Frédéric Joliot, Paris, France, physicist, known for Atomic nuclei
  • 1914 Leonidas Alaoglu, Red Deer, Alberta , Greek-Canadian mathematician (most famous for his widely-cited result called Alaoglu’s theorem on the weak-star compactness of the closed unit ball in the dual of a normed space, also known as the Banach–Alaoglu theorem)
  • 1920 Tige Andrews, Brooklyn, New York, actor (The Mod Squad, The Detectives)
  • 1933 Philip Roth, Newark, New Jersey, author (Goodbye, Columbus; Portnoy’s Complaint, Everyman)
  • 1936 Ursula Andress, Swiss actress (Bond movies: Dr. No, Casino Royale)
  • 1943 Mario J. Molina, Mexico City, Mexico,  chemist, one of the most prominent precursors to the discovering of the Antarctic ozone hole
  • 1946 Ruth Pointer, Oakland, California, singer (Royale Monarchs, An Exchange, Love Song)
  • 1946 Jack Schaeffer, Los Angeles, California, musician, recording artist, record producer and arranger (Pointer Sisters)
  • 1947 Glenn Close, Greenwich, Connecticut, actress (Dangerous Liaisons, Fatal Attraction)
  • 1953 Billy Sheehan, Buffalo, New York, bassist (Mr. Big)
  • 1953 Ricky Wilson, Athens, Georgia, musician (The B-52′s)
  • 1955 Bruce Willis, Idar-Oberstein, West Germany, American actor  (Die Hard series, The 5th Element)
  • 1969 Connor Trinneer, Walla Walla, Washington, actor  (Charles “Trip” Tucker III on Star Trek: Enterprise, and Michael on Stargate Atlantis)
  • 1987 Josie Lopez, Miami, Florida, actress (Make It or Break It )
  • 1989 Craig Lamar Traylor, San Bernardino County, California, actor (Malcolm in the Middle )
  • 1999 Tatum McCann, Riverside, California, actress (NYPD Blue, Click, The Time Traveler’s Wife)


The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances. – Martha Washington



  • 1863 The SS Georgiana, said to have been the most powerful Confederate cruiser, is destroyed on her maiden voyage with a cargo of munitions, medicines and merchandise then valued at over $1,000,000.
  • 1865 American Civil War: The Battle of Bentonville begins. By the end of the battle two days later, Confederate forces had retreated from Four Oaks, North Carolina.
  • 1885 Louis Riel declares a Provisional Government in Saskatchewan, beginning the North-West Rebellion.
  • 1895 Auguste and Louis Lumière record their first footage using their newly patented cinematograph.
  • 1915 Pluto is photographed for the first time but is not recognized as a planet.
  • 1916 Eight American planes take off in pursuit of Pancho Villa, the first United States air-combat mission in history.
  • 1918 The U.S. Congress establishes time zones and approves daylight saving time.
  • 1920 The United States Senate rejects the Treaty of Versailles for the second time (the first time was on November 19, 1919).
  • 1931 Gambling is legalized in Nevada.
  • 1941 World War II: The 99th Pursuit Squadron also known as the Tuskegee Airmen, the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corp, is activated.
  • 1943 Frank Nitti, the Chicago Outfit Boss after Al Capone, commits suicide at the Chicago Central Railyard.
  • 1954 Joey Giardello knocks out Willie Tory in round seven at Madison Square Garden in the first televised prize boxing fight shown in color.
  • 1954 Willie Mosconi sets a world record by running 526 consecutive balls without a miss during a straight pool exhibition at East High Billiard Club in Springfield, Ohio. The record still stands today.
  • 1965 The wreck of the SS Georgiana, valued at over $50,000,000 and said to have been the most powerful Confederate cruiser, is discovered by then teenage diver and pioneer underwater archaeologist E. Lee Spence, exactly 102 years after its destruction.
  • 1979 The United States House of Representatives begins broadcasting its day-to-day business via the cable television network C-SPAN.
  • 2003 United States President George W. Bush orders the start of war against Iraq.
  • 2004 Konginkangas bus disaster: A semi-trailer truck and a bus crash head-on in Äänekoski, Finland. 24 people are killed and 13 injured.
  • 2004 A Swedish DC-3 shot down by a Russian MiG-15 in 1952 over the Baltic Sea is finally recovered after years of work. The remains of the three crewmen are left in place, pending further investigations.
  • 2004 3-19 Shooting Incident: Taiwanese president Chen Shui-bian is shot just before the country’s presidential election on March 20.
  • 2008 GRB 080319B: A cosmic burst that is the farthest object visible to the naked eye is briefly observed.


A guy walks into a bar with a dog. The dog is wearing a New York Jets jersey and helmet and his tail and ears are decorated with green-and-white pom poms.

The bartender says,”Hey! No pets allowed in here! You’ll have to leave!”

“Look I’m desperate. We’re both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!”

“Well, okay. This one time only. But the dog had better behave.”

The Jets win the toss and receive the opening kickoff. They march down the field, get stopped at the 30 and kick 50-yard field goal.

With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar on his hind legs, giving everyone a high five.

The bartender says,”Wow! That’s remarkable! What does the dog do when the Jets score a touchdown?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only had him for four years.”


Doctor to patient: “You have dangerously high blood pressure.”

“I know. It comes from my family.”

“Your mother’s side or your father’s?”

“Neither. It’s from my wife’s family.”

“Oh, come now. How could your wife’s family give you high blood pressure?”

“You oughta meet ’em sometime.”



~  Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

~  Wrinkles don’t hurt.

~  Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

~  Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.

~  Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

~  Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

~  Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

~  Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

~  When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

~  You get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

~  It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

~  Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

~  Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


pic of the day: Polish Silver Laced Rooster and Buff Orpington Hen

pic of chicken rooster and hen



The Sunday School teacher asked the class to draw pictures of the Nativity. Little Johnny’s picture featured a very overweight, rotund individual in a prominent position close to the baby Jesus.

“Who’s that?” the teacher asked.

“That’s Round John Virgin.”


Conversation at our business lunch turned to immigration. “I read an article that said 60 percent of Americans are immigrants,” commented one of my colleagues.

“That can’t be true,” said another.

“No,” agreed a Native American co-worker. “There’s a lot more of you than that.”


A blonde is out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side!”


TODAY IN TRIVIA: Since it’s Poultry Day, we’ll gonna talk about CHICKEN.

~The chicken, Gallus gallus domesticus, is a domestic subspecies of the red junglefowl, a member of the pheasant family that is native to Asia.

~This bird was probably first domesticated for the purpose of cockfights, not as food.

`These birds are omnivores. They’ll eat seeds and insects but also larger prey like small mice and lizards.

~Baby chickens are chicks. Female chickens are pullets until they’re old enough to lay eggs and become hens.

~Male chickens are called roosters, cocks or cockerels, depending on the country you’re in.

~A rooster announces to a flock of chickens that he’s found food with a “took, took, took.” But the hens don’t pay attention if they already know that there is food around.

~And to answer the question, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, all vertebrates have eggs, but the hardshelled variety first appeared among reptiles.


QUIP OF THE DAY: Choose a job you like, and you will never have to work a day in your life. – Confucius


Thought for the day. . .

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard.  The fearful are the failing. – Sarah J. Hale