Jokes and Trivia for June 6, 2013

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. – John Adams

TODAY – JUNE 6th – THURSDAY

157th day of 2013 with 208 follow.

Holidays for Today:

*D-Day Anniversary

*National Applesauce Cake Day

*UN Russian Language Day

*National Gardening Exercise Day- Get out and exercise with your plants.

*National Yo-Yo Day (in honor of the birthday of Donald F. Duncan Sr.)

*Woodmen of the World Founders Day (founded in 1890, 122 years in 2012)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1755 Nathan Hale, Coventry, Connecticut, hanged patriot (America’s 1st spy), “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”
  • 1756 John Trumbull, Lebanon, Connecticut, painter (Declaration of Independence)
  • 1850 Karl Ferdinand Braun, Fulda, Hessen-Kassel, physicist ( known for Cathode ray tube, Cat’s whisker diode)
  • 1867 David Abercrombie, Baltimore, Maryland, entrepreneur (Abercrombie & Fitch founder)
  • 1868 Robert Falcon Scott, English explorer, leader of ill-fated south polar expedition
  • 1892 Donald F. Duncan, Sr., American entrepreneur and inventor (founder of Duncan Toys Company)
  • 1906 Max August Zorn, Krefeld, Germany, mathematician , best known for Zorn’s lemma, a powerful tool in set theory
  • 1918 Edwin G. Krebs, Lansing, Iowa, biochemist (Nobel / reversible protein phosphorylation as a biological regulatory mechanism)
  • 1932 David R Scott, San Antonio, Texas, Col USAF/astronaut (Gemini 8; Apollo 9, 15)
  • 1933 Heinrich Rohrer, St. Gallen,  physicist, Nobel laureate, for the design of the scanning tunneling microscope (STM)
  • 1943 Richard Smalley, Akron, Ohio, chemist (Nobel / discovery of a new form of carbon, buckminsterfullerene)
  • 1944 Phillip Allen Sharp, Falmouth, Kentucky,  scientist (Nobel / co-discovered gene splicing)
  • 1945 David Dukes, San Francisco, California, actor (The Winds of War, War and Remembrance, The Josephine Baker Story, Sisters, Dawson’s Creek)
  • 1947 Robert Englund, Glendale, California,actor (Nightmare on Elm Street film series )
  • 1952 Harvey Fierstein, Brooklyn, New York, actor (Torch Song Trilogy )
  • 1954 Cynthia Rylant, American author of children’s books (A Fine White Dust, Missing May, The Relatives Came)
  • 1955 Sandra Bernhard, Flint, Michigan, actress and comedian
  • 1974 Danny Strong, Manhattan Beach, California, actor (Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Paris Geller’s boyfriend Doyle McMasters on Gilmore Girls, but he has also appeared in films such as Pleasantville, Dangerous Minds )

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

D-Day Quote: You will bring about the destruction of the German war machine, the elimination of Nazi tyranny over the oppressed peoples of Europe, and security for ourselves in a free world. Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped, and battle-hardened. He will fight savagely….The free men of the world are marching together to victory. I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty, and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full victory. Good luck, and let us all beseech the blessings of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking.” ~ General Dwight D. Eisenhower giving the D-Day order on June 6, 1944.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1813 War of 1812: Battle of Stoney Creek – A British force of 700 under John Vincent defeats an American force three times its size under William Winder and John Chandler.
  • 1832 The June Rebellion of Paris is put down by the National Guard.
  • 1833 U.S. President Andrew Jackson becomes the first President to ride on a train.
  • 1844 The Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) is founded in London.
  • 1857 Sophia of Nassau marries the future King Oscar II of Sweden-Norway.
  • 1889 The Great Seattle Fire destroys the entirety of downtown Seattle, Washington.
  • 1892 Chicago El begins operation
  • 1894 Governor Davis H. Waite orders the Colorado state militia to protect and support the miners engaged in the Cripple Creek miners’ strike.
  • 1912 Eruption of Novarupta (meaning “new eruption”) in Alaska begins. (10X more powerful than 980 eruption of Mount St. Helens and led to the formation of this 841 m (2759 ft) volcano)
  • 1932 The Revenue Act of 1932 is enacted, creating the first gas tax in the United States, at a rate of 1 cent per US gallon (1/4 ¢/L) sold.
  • 1933 The first drive-in theater opens, in Camden, New Jersey, United States.
  • 1934 New Deal: U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the Securities Act of 1933 into law, establishing the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.
  • 1944 D-Day of World War II, code named Operation Overlord, commences with the landing of 155,000 Allied troops on the beaches of Normandy in France. The allied soldiers quickly break through the Atlantic Wall and push inland in the largest amphibious military operation in history.
  • 1944 Alaska Airlines commences operations.
  • 1946 The Basketball Association of America is formed in New York City.
  • 2002 Eastern Mediterranean Event. A near-Earth asteroid estimated at 10 metres diameter explodes over the Mediterranean Sea between Greece and Libya. The resulting explosion is estimated to have a force of 26 kilotons, slightly more powerful than the Nagasaki atomic bomb.
  • 2005 The Supreme Court ruled 6-to-3 that people who smoke marijuana because their doctors recommend it to ease pain can be prosecuted for violating federal drug laws.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

The church gossip, and self-appointed arbiter of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being drunk after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon.

She commented to George on a Sunday morning, in the company of many, that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of her house and left it there all night.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Overheard at an acting school: “All the acting classes are filled. I couldn’t even get into Mime class.”

“Why not?”

“How should I know? You can’t get a word out of those people!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

One October, my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable.

Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign:                 ICE 10 MILES

Five miles farther on, there was another sign:                 ICE 5 MILES

The next one was:                ICE 1/2 MILE

We practically crept that half-mile. Finally we came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery, and it read:

                ICE 75 CENTS 

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: REFLECTIONS ON AGING

~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

~ Long ago when old men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: U.S. Army troops wade ashore on Omaha Beach on D-Day

— from Wikipedia commons
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! DAFFY DEFINITION PUN ZONE!

~ Silver Nitrate: Rental fee for the Lone Ranger’s horse after dark

~ Dogma: The mother of a puppy

~ Gardening: A labor that begins with daybreak and ends with backbreak

~ Polygon: A dead parrot

~ Window screen: A device for keeping flies in the house

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.

Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, “You know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait your turn, sir,” replied the waiter with typical New York charm. “I can only serve one table at a time.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A single guy who was very lonely decided that life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he decided on a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the centipede home, found a good location for the box home, and then decided he would start off by taking his new pet to a restaurant to have dinner.

So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to McDonald’s with me to have dinner?” But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to McDonald’s with me?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to McDonald’s with me to have dinner?”

A little voice came out of the box: “I heard you the first time! I’m putting on my shoes!!”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

“Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

“Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: D-Day

~ Today is the 69th anniversary of D-Day.

~Codenamed Operation Overlord, the battle of Normandy began on June 6, 1944, now known as D-Day.

~ There were about 156,000 American, British and Canadian forces that landed on five beaches along a 50-mile stretch of the heavily fortified coast of France’s Normandy region. The invasion was one of the largest amphibious military assaults in history and required extensive planning.

~D-Day was the first day of the Battle of Normandy during World War II (1939-1945), but the entire battle lasted from June 1944 to August 1944 and resulted in the Allied liberation of Western Europe from Nazi Germany’s control.

~The Normandy landings have been called the beginning of the end of war in Europe.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: “A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.” – Peter McArthur

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. – John F. Kennedy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *