Jokes and Trivia for November 2, 2012

The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss. – Thomas Carlyle

TODAY – NOVEMBER 2nd – TUESDAY

307thday of 2012 with 59 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*All Souls Day

*Plan Your Epitath Day

*Look for Circles Day

*Deviled Egg Day

*Statehood Day (North Dakota and South Dakota)

*Aviation History Month

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1734 Daniel Boone, Oley Valley, Pennsylvania, frontiersman /explorer (US Hall of Fame-1915)
  • 1755 Marie-Antoinette, Queen of France
  • 1795 James Knox Polk, Pineville, North Carolina, 11th President of the United States (D) (1845-1849)
  • 1799 John Light Atlee, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, physician and surgeon (one of organizers of the American Medical Association)
  • 1815 George Boole, English mathematician (Boolean algebra)
  • 1865 Warren Gamaliel Harding, Blooming Grove, Ohio, 29th President of the United States (R) (1921-23)
  • 1885 Harlow Shapley, Nashville, Missouri, astronomer (studied the galaxies, helped found National Science Foundation)
  • 1894 Alexander Lippisch, German scientist (contributions to the understanding of flying wings, delta wings and the ground effect)
  • 1913 Burt Lancaster, Manhattan, New York, actor (From Here to Eternity, Elmer Gantry, Birdman of Alcatraz, Atlantic City, Field of Dreams)
  • 1929 Richard E. Taylor, Medicine Hat, Alberta,  physicist (Nobel /deep inelastic scattering of electrons on protons and bound neutrons, which have been of essential importance for the development of the quark model in particle physics)
  • 1942 Stefanie Powers, Hollywood, California, actress (Girl From UNCLE, Hart to Hart, McLintock!)
  • 1944 Jeffrey A Hoffman, Brooklyn, New York, PhD/astronaut (STS-51-D, STS-35, STS-46, STS-61, STS-75)
  • 1957 Carter Beauford, Charlottesville, Virginia, drummer (Dave Matthews Band)
  • 1963 Bobby Dall, Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, musician Poison (band)
  • 1966 David Schwimmer, Astoria, Queens, New York, actor (Friends, Band of Brothers )
  • 1990 Kendall Schmidt, Andover, Kansas, singer and actor (Nickelodeon show, Big Time Rush )

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving. – W. T. Purkiser

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1783 In Rocky Hill, New Jersey, US General George Washington gives his “Farewell Address to the Army”.
  • 1861 American Civil War: Western Department Union General John C. Fremont is relieved of command and replaced by David Hunter.
  • 1889 North Dakota becomes 39th & South Dakota becomes the 40th state.
  • 1895 The first gasoline-powered race in the United States. First prize: $2,000
  • 1920 In the United States, KDKA of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania starts broadcasting as the first commercial radio station. The first broadcast is the result of the U.S. presidential election, 1920.
  • 1936 First high-definition TV broadcast service, by BBC in London.
    1947 In California, designer Howard Hughes performs the maiden (and only) flight of the Spruce Goose; the largest fixed-wing aircraft ever built.
  • 1948 Truman beats Dewey, confounding pollsters & newspapers.
  • 1957 The Levelland UFO Case in Levelland, Texas, generates national publicity, and remains one of the most impressive UFO cases in American history.
  • 1959 “Twenty-One” game show contestant Charles Van Doren admits to a Congressional committee that he had been given questions and answers in advance.
  • 1960 Penguin Books is found not guilty of obscenity in the Lady Chatterley’s Lover case
  • 1963 South Vietnamese President Ngô Ðình Diệm is assassinated following a military coup.
  • 1964 King Saud of Saudi Arabia is deposed by a family coup, and replaced by his half-brother King Faisal.
  • 1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act enters force, allowing 123,000 Cubans the opportunity to apply for permanent residence in the United States.
  • 1983 U.S. President Ronald Reagan signs a bill creating Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
  • 1984 Capital punishment: Velma Barfield becomes the first woman executed in the United States since 1962.
  • 1988 The Morris worm, the first internet-distributed computer worm to gain significant mainstream media attention, is launched from MIT.
  • 2000 The first crew arrived at the International Space Station

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A priest was preparing a man for his long journey into the night.

Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil.”

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.

The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”

The dying man said, “Until I know where I’m heading, I don’t think I ought to aggravate anybody.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, ‘I was about to park there.’

The man looked at her with disdain and replied, ‘That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.’

This annoyed Elsie even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW. 

The young man ran back to his car and shouted in a stunned voice, ‘What did you do that for?’
Elsie smiled at him and said, ‘That’s what you can do when you’re old and rich.’

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: 7 Reasons Dogs don’t Use Computers

 Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear”You’ve Got Mail!”

Can’t stick their heads out of Windows8

Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.

Too difficult to “mark” every Web site they visit.

Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

Too hard to read the screen with head cocked to one side.

‘Cause dogs aren’t GEEKS!

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Friends

picture of 2 dogs

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! PUNNY BOOK TITLES!

“Can’t Sleep” by Eliza Wake

“How to Predict your Future” by Horace Cope

“Raising Flowers” by Flo Rist

“The German Bank Robbery” by Hans Zupp

“Tear Up Those Sweepstake Tickets” by Lew Zerr

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”

“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped.

“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….”

“Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Doctor Khan was giving a lecture to a group of medical students at the city hospital.

Pointing to the x-ray, he explained: “As you can see, this patient limps because his right fibula and tibia are radically arched.”

The doctor looked up at the assembled students, and asked Sidney “Now what would you do in a case like this?”

Sidney piped up: “I suppose I would limp too.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: It’s National Deviled Egg Day!

~Did you know that another name for deviled eggs is eggs mimosa?

~It  is a traditional favorite in both American and French cultures.

~Deviled eggs are made with hard-boiled eggs, mayonnaise, mustard, and seasoning, and can be served as a side dish, appetizer, or main course.

~While deviled eggs originated in ancient Rome, the term “deviled” didn’t appear until the 18th century when it was used to describe highly seasoned, fried, or boiled dishes.

~Eggs are high in protein, Vitamin D, and all nine essential amino acids, while being low in carbohydrates. A deviled egg contains about 10 percent of the Recommended Daily Allowance (RDA) of protein for a 120-pound woman. (RDA for protein is .4 grams for every pound of body weight.)

~Eggs are higher in cholesterol than most foods (214 mgs per large egg),  but as long as cholesterol remains within the recommended daily limit of less than 300 mgs for people with normal LDL levels, eggs can be incorporated into a balanced diet.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

QUIP OF THE DAY: In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left – Winston Churchill

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

You will not do incredible things without an incredible dream. – John Eliot