Jokes and Trivia for June 11, 2013

I give God all the glory. And try to move on. Come home and hug my wife and my children. And thank God for every day that I have with my family. – Jayson Williams

TODAY – JUNE 11th – TUESDAY

162nd day of 2013 with 203 follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Hug Holiday

*National German Chocolate Cake Day

*National Email Week (2nd week in June)

*National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month

*Kamehameha Day (Hawaii)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1864 Richard Strauss, German composer and conductor (Salome, Four Last Songs, An Alpine Symphony, Metamorphosen)
  • 1867 Charles Fabry, Marseille, France,  physicist (discovered the ozone layer)
  • 1910 Jacques-Yves Cousteau, French marine biologist and inventor (co-developed the Aqua-Lung)
  • 1913 Vince Lombardi, Brooklyn, New York, football coach (Green Bay Packers / 5 league championship s in 7 years, 2 Super Bowls)
  • 1915 Nicholas Metropolis, Greek-American mathematician, physicist and computer scientist 
  • 1933 Gene Wilder, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, actor (The Producers, Young Frankenstein, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Stir Crazy, The Woman in Red)
  • 1937 Johnny Brown, St. Petersburg, Florida,  comedian (Laugh-in )
  • 1945 Adrienne Barbeau, Sacramento, California, actress (Grease, Maude, The Fog, Swamp Thing, voice of Catwoman on Batman: The Animated Series)
  • 1950 Graham Russell, Melbourne, Australia,  guitarist and vocalist (Air Supply)
  • 1956 Joe Montana, New Eagle, Pennsylvania, football player (quarterback for San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefs;started in 4 Super Bowl games & won all of them)
  • 1959 Hugh Laurie, English actor and comedian (Fry and Laurie, House)
  • 1960 Mehmet Oz, Cleveland, Ohio,  television host (The Dr. Oz Show), cardiothoracic surgeon, author (YOU: The Owner’s Manual, YOU: On a Diet)
  • 1969 Matt McGrath, New York, New York, actor (The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy)
  • 1970 Chris Rice, Clinton, Maryland,  singer and songwriter (Christian contemporary, sound similar to James Taylor)
  • 1973 Dana Brunetti,  film producer
  • 1977 Ryan Dunn, Medina, Ohio, actor (Jackass 3.5)
  • 1985 Chris Trousdale, New Port Richey, Florida,  pop singer and dancer (Dream Street )
  • 1986 Shia LaBeouf, Los Angeles, California, actor (Even Stevens, Holes, Disturbia, Transformers movies, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull)

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Men greet each other with a sock on the arm, women with a hug, and the hug wears better in the long run. – Edward Hoagland

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1184 BC Troy is sacked and burned during the Trojan War, according to calculations by Eratosthenes.
  • 1770 Captain James Cook runs aground on the Great Barrier Reef.
  • 1775 First naval engagement during The American Revolutionary War, the Battle of Machias, results in the capture of a small British naval vessel.
  • 1776 Continental Congress appoints Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman, and Robert R. Livingston to the Committee of Five to draft a declaration of independence.
  • 1805 A fire consumes large portions of Detroit in the Michigan Territory.
  • 1825 The first cornerstone is laid for Fort Hamilton in New York City.
  • 1837 The Broad Street Riot occurs in Boston, fueled by ethnic tensions between Yankees and Irish.
  • 1892 The Limelight Department, one of the world’s first film studios, is officially established in Melbourne, Australia.
  • 1898 U.S. war ships set sail for Cuba during the Spanish-American War.
  • 1919 Sir Barton wins the Belmont Stakes, becoming the first horse to win the Triple Crown.
  • 1920 During the U.S. Republican National Convention in Chicago, U.S. Republican Party leaders gathered in a room at the Blackstone Hotel to come to a consensus on their candidate for the U.S. presidential election, leading the Associated Press to first coin the political phrase “smoke-filled room”.
  • 1935 Inventor Edwin Armstrong gives the first public demonstration of FM broadcasting in the United States at Alpine, New Jersey.
  • 1936 The International Surrealist Exhibition opens in London, England.
  • 1944 USS Missouri (BB-63) the last battleship built by the United States Navy and future site of the signing of the Japanese Instrument of Surrender, is commissioned.
  • 1962 Frank Morris, John Anglin and Clarence Anglin allegedly become the only prisoners to escape from the prison on Alcatraz Island.
  • 1963 American Civil Rights Movement: Alabama Governor George Wallace stands at the door of Foster Auditorium at the University of Alabama in an attempt to block two black students, Vivian Malone and James Hood, from attending that school. Later in the day, accompanied by federalized National Guard troops, they are able to register.
  • 1970 Anna Mae Hays and Elizabeth P. Hoisington become the first women to officially receive their ranks as U.S. Army Generals.
  • 1981 A Richter Scale 6.9 magnitude earthquake at Golbaf, Iran, kills at least 2,000.
  • 1982 The Sentosa Musical Fountain was officially opened as part of the second phase of construction on the island of Sentosa, Singapore.
  • 1998 Compaq Computer pays $9 billion for Digital Equipment Corporation in the largest high-tech acquisition.
  • 2001 Timothy McVeigh is executed for his role in the Oklahoma City bombing.
  • 2002 Antonio Meucci is acknowledged as the first inventor of the telephone by the United States Congress.

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A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.”

“Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I can’t believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!”

“No, no,” pleaded the dog. “Please don’t! If he finds out I can talk, he’ll make me answer the phone as well!”

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A guy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The guy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again the guy took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The guy said, “Look I’m a software engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

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“Congratulations my boy!” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.”

“But I’m not getting married until tomorrow,” protested his nephew.

“I know,” replied the uncle. “That’s exactly what I mean.”

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ONE-LINERS: New Old Sayings

– Don’t byte off more than you can view.

– Fax is stranger than fiction.

– What boots up must come down.

– Windows will never cease.

– In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).

– Virtual reality is its own reward.

– Modulation in all things.

– A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

– There’s no place like ( http://www.)home(.com)

– Know what to expect before you connect.

– Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

– Speed thrills.

– Give a man (or for that matter anyone) a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use The Net and he won’t bother you for weeks.

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pic of the day: Peacock Butterfly

Butterfly

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn’t resistor.
~ When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.  
~ Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn’t know how to conduct itself.
~ When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.
~ Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
~ The dead batteries were given out free of charge.  
~ I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
~ If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.  
~ What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
~ A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. ‘Are you the friar?’ he asks. ‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.

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A junior-high student was studying astronomy and enjoying it greatly.

One morning at breakfast she mentioned, “On Friday we’re having a quiz on the moon.”

Her little brother piped up: “Are you gonna let her go, Mom??”

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In my next life, I wanna be a female bear.

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.

If you’re a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.
And I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup…I wanna be a bear.

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A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. “Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons?” he asked.

“Well, I think I do.” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: About Email!

~Computer engineer, Ray Tomlinson invented internet based email in late 1971.

~Ray Tomlinson chose the @ symbol to tell which user was “at” what computer. The @ goes inbetween the user’s login name and the name of his/her host computer.

~The first email was sent between two computers that were actually sitting besides each other. However, the ARPANET network was used as the connection between the two. The first email message was “QWERTYUIOP”.

~Modern email operates across the Internet or other computer networks. Some early email systems required that the author and the recipient both be online at the same time, in common with instant messaging.

~Today’s email systems are based on a store-and-forward model. Email servers accept, forward, deliver, and store messages.

~An Internet email message[NB 1] consists of three components, the message envelope, the message header, and the message body.

~Most modern graphic email clients allow the use of either plain text or HTML for the message body at the option of the user. HTML email messages often include an automatically generated plain text copy as well, for compatibility reasons.

~ Email bankruptcy: Also known as “email fatigue”, is when a user ignores a large number of email messages after falling behind in reading and answering them, usually due to information overload and feeling there is so much information it’s just not possible to read it all. As a solution, people occasionally send a message to people in their address book, saying they are deleting all their email. Harvard University law professor Lawrence Lessig is credited with coining this term, but he may only have popularized it

~Ray Tomlinson is quoted as saying he invented email,”Mostly because it seemed like a neat idea.” No one was asking for email.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

I will not play tug o’ war. I’d rather play hug o’ war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins. – Shel Silverstein

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