Jokes and Trivia for August 13, 2012

Life is meant to be lived. – Eleanor Roosevelt

TODAY – AUGUST 13th – MONDAY

226th day of 2012 with 140 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Filet Mignon Day

*Left Hander’s Day

*National Smile Week

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1625 Rasmus Bartholin, Danish physician, mathematician and physicist (known for double refraction of a light ray)
  • 1814 Anders Jonas Ångström, Swedish physicist (known for Spectroscopy)
  • 1818 Lucy Stone, West Brookfield, Massachusetts, abolitionist and suffragist (1st woman from Massachusetts to earn college degree; spoke for women’s rights, 1st recorded American woman to retain own last name after marriage)
  • 1819 George Gabriel Stokes, Irish physicist (made important contributions to fluid dynamics)
  • 1872 Richard Willstätter, German chemist (known for organic chemistry)
  • 1899 Alfred Hitchcock, British-American film director & producer (suspense & psychological thrillers; Sabotage, Jamaica Inn, Notorious, Strangers on a Train, Vertigo, Psycho, The Birds, Family Plot)
  • 1902 Felix Wankel, German engineer and inventor (developed seals and rotary valves for German air force aircraft and navy torpedoes, for BMW and Daimler-Benz)
  • 1912 Ben Hogan, Stephenville, Texas, Professional golfer (noted for influence on golf swing theory & legendary ball-striking ability)
  • 1912 Salvador Luria, Italian-American microbiologist (Nobel / showed bacterial resistance to viruses is genetically inherited)
  • 1918 Frederick Sanger, English chemist (structure of proteins, especially that of insulin)
  • 1919 Rex Humbard, Little Rock, Arkansas, televisio evangelist (Cathefral of Tomorrow)
  • 1944 Kevin Tighe, Los Angeles, California, actor (Roy DeSoto on Emergency; Lost, Escape to Witch Mountain, School Ties)
  • 1951 Dan Fogelberg, Peoria, Illinois, singer-songwriter (Longer, Leader of the Band)
  • 1959 Danny Bonaduce, Broomall, Pennsylvania, actor (The Partridge Family, Corvette Summer, ChiPs)
  • 1961 Dawnn Lewis, Brooklyn, New York City, actress (Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper)
  • 1961 Tom Perrotta, Garwood, New Jersey, author / screenwriter (Election, Little Children)
  • 1962 John Slattery Jr., Boston, Massachusetts, actor (Ed, Mad Men, Desperate Housewives, Iron Man 2)
  • 1972 Kevin Plank, Kensington, Maryland, CEO (founder of Under Armour, Inc.)
  • 1974 Sam Endicott, Washington, D.C., American singer (The Bravery)
  • 2000 Piper Reese, American webshow reporter (Piper’s Picks TV and Piper’s QUICK Picks)

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If you believe in the Lord, He will do half the work: the last half.  – Cyrus Curtis

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1831 Nat Turner sees a solar eclipse, which he believes is a sign from God. Eight days later he and 70 other slaves kill approximately 55 whites in Southampton County, Virginia.
  • 1906 The all black infantrymen of the U.S. Army’s 25th Infantry Regiment are accused of killing a white bartender and wounding a white police officer in Brownsville, Texas, despite exculpatory evidence; all are later dishonorably discharged.
  • 1913 Otto Witte, an acrobat, is purportedly crowned King of Albania.
  • 1913 First production in the UK of stainless steel by Harry Brearley.
  • 1918 Women enlist in the United States Marine Corps for the first time. Opha Mae Johnson is the first woman to enlist.
  • 1942 Major General Eugene Reybold of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers authorizes the construction of facilities that would house the “Development of Substitute Materials” project, better known as the Manhattan Project.
  • 1965 Peter Allen and Gwynne Evans are hanged for the Murder of John Alan West becoming the last people people executed in the United Kingdom.
  • 1968 Alexandros Panagoulis attempts to assassinate the Greek dictator Colonel Georgios Papadopoulos in Varkiza, Athens.
  • 1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts are released from a three-week quarantine to enjoy a ticker-tape parade in New York. That evening, at a state dinner in Los Angeles, they are awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by U.S. President Richard Nixon.
  • 1979 The roof of the uncompleted Rosemont Horizon near Chicago, Illinois collapses, killing 5 workers and injuring 16.
  • 2004 Hurricane Charley, a Category 4 storm, strikes Punta Gorda, Florida and devastates the surrounding area.
  • 2004 156 Congolese Tutsi refugees are massacred at the Gatumba refugee camp in Burundi.
  • 2008 South Ossetian War: Russian units occupy the Georgian city of Gori.
  • 2011 The main stage collapses at the Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis during a hurricane-force wind gust ahead of an approaching severe thunderstorm, killing 7 and injuring 45.

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The wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left.

She said, “Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting.”

“It was postponed,” he replied. “The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate’s wife wouldn’t let him attend tonight.”

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A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were sitting around late one evening, and they got to discussing which was the oldest profession.

The doctor pointed out that according to biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam’s rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.

The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.

The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, “Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?”

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ONE-LINERS: THINGS LEARNED WITH TIME

~ I’ve learned that the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

~ I’ve learned that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

~ I’ve learned that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

~ I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

~ I’ve learned that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may
have to eat them.

~ I’ve learned that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

~ I’ve learned that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

~ I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

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pic of the day: Chickens & Sheep

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q: Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.

Q: Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
A: When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.

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Mother: ‘Why are you home from school so early?’  Son: ‘I was the only one who could answer a question.’

Mother: ‘Oh, really? What was the question?’

Son: ‘Who threw the blackboard duster at the teacher?’

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The Warden is addressing two death row inmates. “Well guys, you are both going to be executed next week. Any last requests?”

The first inmate replies, “I’d like to hear all 72 verses of ‘Louie-Louie’.”

The second inmate asks, “Warden, are you really gonna play all 72 verses of ‘Louie-Louie’ for that guy??”

“Well, yeah. It’s a legitimate last request. We’ll do it.  So, what’s you want for YOUR last request?”

“Please kill me first!!”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Filet Mignon

~O. Henry (pen name of William Sydney Porter) was the first to use the term “filet mignon” in his book ‘The Four Million’ in 1906.

~A French derivative, it means small or dainty fillet.
      Filet =  boneless meat – mignon = small (dainty).

~Filet mignon  is a steak cut of beef taken from the smaller end of the tenderloin, or psoas major of the beef carcass, usually a steer or heifer.

~ In French it is called filet de bœuf; filet mignon, when found on a menu in France, generally refers to pork rather than beef.

~Some butchers in the United States label all types of tenderloin steaks “filet mignon.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. – Alexander Graham Bell