No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. – Sam Rayburn
FOR TODAY – JANUARY 15th – FRIDAY
15th day of 2010 with 350 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* National Strawberry Ice Cream Day
* National Hat Day
* International Fetish Day
* Humanitarian Day
* Lee-Jackson Day (Virginia)
* Annular Solar Eclipse
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1622 Molière, French playwright (Tartuffe, Le Misanthrope )
1877 Lewis M Terman, Indiana, cognitive psychologist (developed Stanford-Binet IQ test)
1906 Aristotle Onassis, Greece, shipping magnate (Jackie Kennedy Onassis’s husband)
1908 Edward Teller, Budapest Hungary, fathered H-bomb (Manhattan Project)
1913 Lloyd Bridges, San Leandro CA, actor (Sea Hunt, Roots, Airplane)
1929 Martin Luther King Jr, Atlanta GA, civil rights leader (Nobel 1964)
1935 Robert Silverberg, Brooklyn NY, sci-fi author (Valentine’s Castle, Majipoor series, Regan’s Planet)
1953 Randall Lee White, Pittsburgh, PA, former American football defensive lineman/ linebacker (Dallas Cowboys)
1971 Regina King, Los Angeles CA, actress (227, Jerry Maguire, Enemy of the State)
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Good deeds are the best prayer. – Serbian Proverb
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1777 People of New Connecticut (present day Vermont) declare independence from England.
1844 University of Notre Dame receives its charter from the state of Indiana.
1870 Nast first used the donkey as a symbol for the Democratic Party in “A Live Jackass Kicking a Dead Lion” in Harper’s Weekly.
1889 Coca-Cola Company, then known as Pemberton Medicine Company, originally incorporated in Atlanta, Georgia.
1892 James Naismith publishes the rules for basketball in Triangle magazine in Springfield, MA.
1907 3-element vacuum tube patented by Dr Lee de Forest .
1919 The Boston Molasses Disaster: 2 million gallons of molasses drowns 21 people.
1936 First building completely covered in glass completed in Toledo, Ohio (Owens-Illinois Glass Company).
1943 The world’s largest office building, The Pentagon, is dedicated in Arlington, Virginia.
1967 First ever Super Bowl played in Los Angeles, CA – Green Bay Packers defeat the Kansas City Chiefs, 35-10.
1974 “Happy Days” begins an 11 season run on ABC.
2001 Wikipedia, a free Wiki content encyclopedia, goes online.
2009 US Airways Flight 1549 makes an emergency landing in the Hudson River shortly after takeoff from LaGuardia Airport in New York City. All passengers and crew members survive.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Raymond, from Woodley, Reading, Berkshire purchased a new fridge. The local council wanted £20 to remove his old fridge in an environmentally friendly fashion, so in order to save money he put it in his front garden with a sign that read, “Free to a good home. You want it, please take it.”
The fridge stood untouched for 4 days.
Raymond changed his tactics. He made a sign saying, ‘Fridge for sale – £50.’
One day later the fridge disappeared: stolen.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
It was the kindergarten teacher’s birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said, “I guess that it is flowers.”
“How did you guess?” asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, “I guess that is some candy.”
“How did you guess?” asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. “Mmmmm is it wine?” she asked.
“No,” said the little girl. So she tasted it again. “Is it champagne?” she asked.
“Noooooooo,” replied the little girl, “It’s a puppy!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
ONE-LINERS : PERKS OF BEING UNEMPLOYED
~ No more hassles about the length of your lunch break.
~ Casual Fridays have been replaced by Casual Every Days.
~ At least now it’s just the teenager yelling about your work performance.
~ You are going to look *gorgeous* after sixteen hours of “beauty sleep” every day.
~ No more wondering about what the pets do all day while you’re gone.
~ Two more weeks and you can add “proficient at video games” to your résumé.
~ You *never* miss the ice cream truck.
~ Finally outsmarted the government. They can’t take 30% of your paycheck if you haven’t got one.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
During a recent password audit, a blonde was found to be using the password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento
When asked why such a long password, she said, “It has to be at least eight characters long and include at least one capital.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
pic of the day: On the outside looking in. . .
Photo Courtesy of Rural Ramblings
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
It was early at the Army base one morning and the sergeant was reading off a list of names of the men who had work party detail that day.
“Ames.”
“Here!”
“Jensen.”
“Here, Sergeant!”
“Jones.”
“Here!”
“Magersky.”
“Here!”
“Seeback.”
No answer.
“Seeback!”
Still no answer.
“SEEBACK!” the sergeant’s face turned red.
Then he looked at his list closer, turned the piece of paper over to the back side, and continued calling out names, in a somewhat quieter voice.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. “Why are you so late?” his friend asked.
“I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game.”
“How long could that have taken you?”
“Well, I had to toss it 14 times.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You’re my only hope. My husband is never home and I think he’s seeing somebody else. What should I do?”
“May divorce be with you.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
The teacher was giving her class a nature lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you
conclude from that?”
One child was ready with the answer: “They don’t have a union?”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Senior Exercise Programs
Physical exercise is good for you. We know that we should do it daily, but our bodies don’t want us to do too much, so here’s a program of strenuous activities that do not require any actual exercise:
01) Beating around the bush
02) Jumping to conclusions
03) Climbing the walls
04) Swallowing your pride
05) Passing the buck
06) Throwing your weight around
07) Dragging your heels
08) Pushing your luck
09) Making mountains out of molehills
10) Hitting the nail on the head
11) Wading through paperwork
12) Bending over backwards
13) Jumping on the bandwagon
14) Balancing the books
15) Running around in circles
16) Eating crow
17) Tooting your own horn
18) Climbing the ladder of success
19) Pulling out all the stops
20) Adding fuel to the fire
21) Opening a can of worms
22) Putting your foot in your mouth
23) Starting the ball rolling
24) Going over the edge
25) Picking up the pieces
Whew! That’s a workout! Now sit down and…
26) Exercise caution.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
TODAY IN TRIVIA: Lee-Jackson Day is a holiday celebrated in Virginia for the birthdays of Robert E. Lee and Thomas J. “Stonewall” Jackson. The original holiday, created in 1889, celebrated Lee’s birthday. Jackson’s name was added to the holiday in 1904. Lee-Jackson Day is currently observed on the Friday before Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and results in the closing of state offices[1] such as the DMV. From 1983 to 2000 it was celebrated as Lee-Jackson-King Day.
~ What other insects pollinate plants? Moths and butterflies pollinate flowers in the same manner as bees – they move from plant to plant carrying pollen on their hairy feet and promote cross-fertilization just as effectively as bees.
~ Annular Solar Eclipse
~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
LIFE LESSON: What helps luck is a habit of watching for opportunities, of having a patient, but restless mind, of sacrificing one’s ease or vanity, of uniting a love of detail to foresight, and of passing through hard times bravely and cheerfully. – Charles Victor Cherbuliez
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
“I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder that does that for me.” (Stephen Fry)
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else. – Martina Navratilova
Related Posts :
No related posts.