Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday. – John Wayne
FOR TODAY – JANUARY 25th – MONDAY
25th day of 2010 with 340 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* A Room of One’s Own Day
* National Irish Coffee Day
* Burns Night
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1759 – Robert Burns, Scottish poet (Auld Lang Syne)
1860 – Charles Curtis, Topeka KS, 31st Vice President of the United States (1929-33)
1882 – Virginia Woolf, English writer (Jacob’s Room, To The Lighthouse)
1923 – Shirley Mason, Dodge Center MN, psychiatric patient (aka, “Sybil”)
1931 – Dean Jones, Decatur AL, actor (Love Bug, That Darn Cat, Clear & Present Danger)
1938 – Leiji Matsumoto, Japanese creator of anime (Space Battleship Yamato, Arcadia of my Youth, Captain Harlock, Galaxy Express 999)
1941 – Buddy Baker, Florence SC, race car driver (2X winner of NASCAR Championship; Hall of Fame member. In 1970, he became the first driver to ever exceed 200mph (320kph) on a closed course.)
1949 – Paul Nurse, English biochemist (Nobel)
1954 – Kay Cottee, Australian, first woman to sail solo and non stop around the world
1973 – Geoff Johns, Detroit MI, comic book writer (DC Comics/ The Flash, Green Lantern, Teen Titans)
1981 – Alicia Keys, NYC, singer/songwriter/actess (R&B, soul/The Secret Life of Bees)
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“Action makes more fortune than caution.” Luc De Clapiers
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1858 – The Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn becomes a popular wedding recessional after it is played on this day at the marriage of Queen Victoria’s daughter, Victoria, and Friedrich of Prussia.
1881 – Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell form the Oriental Telephone Company.
1890 – Nellie Bly completes her round-the-world journey in 72 days.
1915 – Alexander Graham Bell inaugurates U.S. transcontinental telephone service, speaking from New York to Thomas Watson in San Francisco.
1919 – The League of Nations is founded.
1924 – The 1924 Winter Olympics open in Chamonix, France (in the French Alps), inaugurating the Winter Olympic Games.
1949 – At the Hollywood Athletic Club the first Emmy Awards are presented.
1961 – In Washington, D.C. John F. Kennedy delivers the first live presidential television news conference.
1993 — Sears stopped production of its general merchandise catalog after 97 years.
1998 – During a historic visit to Cuba Pope John Paul II demands the release of political prisoners and political reforms while condemning US attempts to isolate the country.
2004 – Opportunity rover (MER-B) lands on surface of Mars.
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“Let us say a wealthy man passes away and leaves an estate worth ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest goes to charity. Now, what does each one get?”
There was a lengthy silence in the classroom as the students pondered and diligently worked the math. Finally, Little Morris raises his hand.
“Yes, Morris,” recognized the teacher, “what does each one get?”
With deep sincerity, Morris replies, “A lawyer!”
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Mrs. Applebee, the sixth grade teacher, posed the following problem to her arithmetic class.
A motorist was being sued for hitting a pedestrian. The motorist’s attorney made a point: “Your honor, my client has been driving for over thirty years.”
To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted, “Your honor, if we are to judge this case by experience, I should remind you that my client has been walking for over fifty years.”
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ONE-LINERS: A Man’s World – You know you’re in a man’s ideal world when:
– Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
– Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To “I love you.”
– When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
– Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the backside and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ‘em next time” would pretty much do it.
– Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the football team of your choice.
– At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you’d jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
– Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, “You’re #1!”
– It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
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As dessert was served to the visiting pastor, the hostess apologized for not having any cheese to go with the apple pie. Hearing this, her little son slipped down from his chair and left the room, then
returned with a small piece of cheese, which he shyly placed, on the pastor’s plate.
“Why, thank you, son,” said the guest as he popped the cheese in his mouth, “You must have found the last piece! Where did you find it?”
Flushing with pride, the little boy said, “Oh, it was in the mousetrap.”
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pic of the day: One laid out llama. . .
courtesy: RuralRamblings.com
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The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:
Tech Support: This Fire Help. Me Groog.
User: Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.
Tech Support: You have flint and stone?
User: Ugh.
Tech Support: You hit them together?
User: Ugh.
Tech Support: What happen?
User: Fire not work.
Tech Support: *sigh* Make spark?
User: No spark. No fire. Me confused. Fire work yesterday.
Tech Support: *sigh* You change rock?
User: I change nothing.
Tech Support: You sure?
User: Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change. Shouldn’t keep Lorto from make fire.
Tech Support: *Grabs club and goes to Lorto’s cave*
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Question on a job application: “List your high school and when you attended.”
Blonde applicant’s response: “Central High, weekdays from September to June, 9 AM – 3 PM.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
“But why?” they asked, as they moved off.
“Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
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AT LACKLAND AIR FORCE BASE in Texas, we trainees were required to say “sir” before and after speaking to an instructor. Serving guard duty one night, one buddy had a hard time grasping the concept. A drill instructor approached him and asked how duty was going. “Everything is fine, sir!” he answered.
“Airman!” the DI barked. “The first thing out of your mouth should be ‘sir,’ and the last thing out of your mouth should be ‘sir.’ Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir!” the trainee blurted out.
“This is your last chance!” screamed the DI. “Now, what is the first word to come out of your mouth?”
“Sir, SIR, sir!” the airman shouted. – by SSgt. Darryl A. Harris
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A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, “Marian, Marian!”
When mother and child were finally reunited, she chided, “You shouldn’t call me ‘Marian’. I’m your mother. You should call me that.”
“I know, but the store is full of Mommies.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Sir Paul Nurse, awarded the 2001 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine with Leland H. Hartwell and R. Timothy Hunt for their discoveries regarding cell cycle regulation by cyclin and cyclin dependent kinases.
Beginning in 1976, Nurse identified the gene cdc2 in yeast (Schizosaccharomyces pombe). This gene controls the progression of the cell cycle from G1 phase to S phase and the transition from G2 phase to mitosis. In 1987, Nurse identified the homologous gene in human, CDK1, which codes for a cyclin dependent kinase.
Nurse tells the topsy-turvy story of his parents and grandparents—and how even a leading geneticist can be fooled by family histories—in the July 27, 2009 episode (MP3) of The Moth podcast, a storytelling roundtable.
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LIFE LESSON: “The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum.” Anthony Robbins
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THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: “There is only one way in the world to be distinguished. Follow your instinct! Be yourself, and you’ll be somebody. Be one more blind follower of the blind, and you will have the oblivion you desire.” Bliss Carman
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