A man is too apt to forget that in this world he cannot have everything. A choice is all that is left him. – H. Mathews
FOR TODAY – JANUARY 26th – TUESDAY
26th day of 2010 with 339 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* Spouse’s Day
* Australia Day
* National Peanut Brittle Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1880 Douglas MacArthur, World War II general (Little Rock, AR; died 1964)
1905 Maria von Trapp, Austrian-born singer (inspiration for The Sound of Music)
1915 William Hopper, American actor (Paul Drake on Perry Mason)
1918 Philip José Farmer, Indiana, sci-fi/fantasy writer (Riverworld, World of Tiers)
1925 Paul Newman, actor/director (Cleveland, OH)
1928 George H. Ross, NY, attorney and TV reality show star (The Apprentice)
1929 Jules Feiffer, NYC, cartoonist (The Villiage Voice)
1942 Scott Glenn, Pittsburgh PA, actor (The Right Stuff, Urban Cowboy, Hunt for Red October)
1946 Gene Siskel, Chicago IL, film critic
1957 Eddie Van Halen, Netherlands, musician
1961 Wayne Gretzky, hockey player (Brantford, Ontario, Canada)
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There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. – Robert Louis Stevenson
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1784 – In a letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin expressed unhappiness over the eagle as the symbol of America. He wanted the symbol to be the turkey.
1788 – The first European settlers in Australia, led by Captain Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as Sydney. The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight days before. This day is celebrated as Australia Day.
1802 U.S. Congress passes an act calling for a library to be established within the U.S. Capitol; eventually this becomes the Library of Congress.
1837 – Michigan became the 26th united state.
1911 – Inventor Glenn H. Curtiss flew the first successful seaplane.
1950 – India officially proclaimed itself a republic as Rajendra Prasad took the oath of office as president.
1961 – U.S. President John F. Kennedy appointed Dr. Janet G. Travell as the first woman to be the “personal physician to the President”.
1984 – CBS television debuted Mickey Spillane’s “Mike Hammer.”
1992 – Russian president Boris Yeltsin announced that his country would stop targeting U.S. cities with nuclear weapons.
1996 – U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton testified before a grand jury concerning the Whitewater probe.
2005 – Having been confirmed earlier in the day by a vote of 85-13 in the United States Senate, Condoleezza Rice is sworn in as U.S. Secretary of State, becoming the first African American woman to hold the post.
2006 – Western Union discontinues use of its telegram service.
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ONE-LINERS:
~ If a person can be discombobulated, can they be combobulated?
~ If being disgruntled is a bad thing, what is gruntled and why would I want to be it?
~ I’m an early bird and a night owl, so I’m wise and I have worms.
~ It is the daily grind that gives a person polish.
~ Join the AAAAAA! (American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous)
~ Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper: It doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for awhile.
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The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, “The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.”
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DRIVING his pickup truck on the interstate near Mountain Home Air Force Base, Idaho, my brother passed an empty Air Force vehicle parked on the shoulder with its hood up. A mile farther, he saw six fatigues-clad airmen marching in formation alongside the highway. As my brother approached, the leader, marching backward, shouted a command. In unison, six thumbs went out. They got a ride to the base. – Lauri Judy Bauer
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A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, “And what will your third wish be?”
The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”
“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.”
“Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women.”
“Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. “That was your first wish, too!”
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Pic of the Day. . . Dohne Sheep Lambs in Australia
courtesy of Susan, via Rural Ramblings
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A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. Once, at dinner, he offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful.The guest let out a huge gasp. When he was finally able to speak, he choked out, “I’ve heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I’ve met who passes out a sample of it.”
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Visiting the National Museum of the American Indian in Washington, D.C., my sister and I were admiring a beautiful tribal headdress decorated with eagle feathers. A man came up to us and identified himself as Native American. “Do you know how warriors got those?” the man asked, pointing to the feathers. “They covered a hole with brush, tied a live rabbit on top of it and hid underneath. When an eagle swooped down for the kill, they would grab its wing or tail.”
“Fascinating,” I said. “You learned that from your tribal elders?”
“Actually, no,” the man confessed. “I saw it on the Discovery Channel.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ “I’m going to be discussing global warming next week, it’s quite a heated topic.”
~ The man was having trouble understanding darts, so his friend explained some of the finer points.
~ A used car salesman started a chain and thus founded the Auto-man Empire.
~ My boyfriend and I started to date after he backed his car into mine. We met by accident.
~ The raisin wined about how he couldn’t achieve grapeness.
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A rich man trying to find a birthday gift for his daughter saw a poor man leading a beautiful white horse. He told the man, “I’ll give you $500 for the horse.”
“I don’t know, mister, it don’t look so good,”
The next day the rich man came back and offered the man $1000 for the horse.
“I don’t know, mister, it don’t look so good.”
On the third day, the rich man said, “I’ll give you $2,000 for the horse and I won’t take no for an answer.”
The poor man agreed to the sale and the rich man took the horse.
The rich man’s daughter was delighted. She climbed into the saddle, said “Giyup!” The horse took off … and galloped right into a tree.
The rich man hurried to the poor man’s house. “That horse you sold me is blind as a bat! I demanded an explanation!!”
“I told you it don’t look so good.”
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The doctor knocked before entering the patient’s room. When told to come in, he then had the patient undress and proceeded to give a thorough examination, top to bottom, front to back, leaving absolutely no part untouched.
When he had finished, the patient said, “Doctor, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Why did you bother to knock?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Australia Day, also know as Foundation Day, Anniversary Day, Survival Day, Invasion Day, Day of Mourning (in 1938 & 1970). Celebrated annually on January 26th, it is an official public holiday that commemorates the arrival of the First Fleet at Sydney Cove in 1788, the hoisting of the British flag there, and the proclamation of British sovereignty over the eastern seaboard of Australia.
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LIFE LESSON: “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Judy Garland
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It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. – J. K. Rowling
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. – Allan K. Chalmers
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