When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
FOR TODAY – JANUARY 28th – THURSDAY
28th day of 2010 with 337 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* National Kazoo Day
* National Blueberry Pancake Day
* Fun at Work Day
* Data Privacy Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1706 John Baskerville, English printer (typeface inventor)
1841 Henry Stanley, England, journalist/explorer (found Livingston in Africa)
1855 William Seward Burroughs, New York, inventor (recording adding machine)
1884 Auguste Piccard, Switzerland, scientist/explorer (balloonist)
1922 Robert W Holley, Urbana IL, biochemist, worked with RNA (Nobel ’68)
1936 Alan Alda [Alphonso D'Abruzzo], New York City, actor (Hawkeye Pierce-M*AS*H)
1954 Rick Warren, San Jose CA, pastor and author (The Purpose Driven Life)
1968 Sarah McLachlan, Canadian folk singer (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy)
1980 Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, singer (Backstreet Boys)
1981 Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids Iowa, actor (Frodo/Lord of the Rings)
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Every day holds the possibility of a miracle. – Elizabeth David
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1902 Carnegie Institute founded in Washington DC with a $10 million gift from Andrew Carnegie.
1915 President Woodrow Wilson signed into law the “Act to Create the Coast Guard”
1934 The first ski tow in America begins operation in Vermont.
1957 “Tonight! America After Dark” premieres, with Jack Lescoulie & Al (Jazzbo) Collins on NBC (between Steve Allen & Jack Paar).
1961 Republic of Rwanda proclaimed.
1986 25th Space Shuttle Challenger breaks apart 73 seconds after liftoff killing all seven astronauts onboard, including Christa McAuliffe, who was supposed to be the first teacher in space.
1990 Super Bowl XXIV San Francisco 49ers beat Denver Broncos, 55-10 in New Orleans; Super Bowl MVP Joe Montana, San Francisco, Quarterback
1996 Super Bowl XXX Dallas Cowboys beat Pittsburgh Steelers, 27-17 in Tempe; Super Bowl MVP Larry Brown, Dallas, Defensive Back
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A guy playing trombone in the opera had a fantastic gig on the day he had to play in the opera. He tried to find a replacement but without success. Finally he went to his housekeeper and convinced him to do the replacement. “I give you my other trombone. You just look what is the guy next to you doing and it would be Okay”.
Next morning he asked the housekeeper how it was.
“Catastrophe. Your colleague sent also his housekeeper to replace him”.
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A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds – and girth – was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership.
When the salesman’s pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, “Now what would it take to get you into one of these?”
Looking at the Jeep’s high front seat, the woman replied, “Probably a crowbar.”
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ONE-LINERS : Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve:
10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the Garden and would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would need someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist or haircut appointment by himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put out the garbage.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. Since Adam was the Keeper of the Garden, he would need to remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame.
2. As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone.”
… and the Number One reason why God created Eve:
1. When God finished creating Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head and said, “I can do better than that!”
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A newspaper editor received this note from a reader: “My wife was about to file for divorce when she read the article in your paper about the importance of giving second chances in making a marriage work. So she changed her mind about the divorce. Cancel my subscription to your paper immediately.”
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pic of the day: Tropical birds make me think of sunshine…
Beaches, warm tropical breezes… warm weather!!!!
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The third graders were attending their first music lesson. The teacher was trying to begin at the beginning. She drew a musical staff on the blackboard and asked a little girl to come up and write a note on
it.
The little girl went to the blackboard, looked thoughtful for a minute and wrote, “Dear Aunt Emma, just a short note to tell you I’m fine.”
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DURING THE GULF WAR, the military had to arrange sleeping quarters for both sexes. At one logistics base, a large tent was partitioned off by huge sheets of canvas, separating men and women. Arriving at the base, I was told to put my gear in this tent. I knew I would be right at home when I walked in and saw a sign only an American could make: “Welcome to the Walled-Off Astoria.” – Sgt. Craig Hutchinson
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A football player for the Minnesota Vikings believed he was descended from a real Viking. Because of this, he specified that When he died he was to be cremated in the Viking tradition, on an open pyre.
Eventually, he passed away. At the funeral, one of the player’s fans managed to get through security and began to make a pest of himself, asking questions of the other football players in attendance.
The security people chased the gate-crasher and, unfortunately, he stumbled into the fire and perished along with the body of his hero.
It was a case of going from the prying fan into the pyre.
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A new department store announced that it was going to give out free TVs to the first 100 people who came to the store on its Grand Opening Day.
The store was scheduled to open at 9:00 am, but people were already camped out in front of the store by 4:00 am, determined to receive their free TV.
When it was almost 9:00 am, a little old man walked up to the front of the line, and casually stepped in front of the first man in line, a big, burly man who had been there since 4:00. The big guy wasn’t about to let this old fellow cut in front of him, so he pushed the old man out of his way with all of his might.
The little old man got up, dusted himself off, and walked in front of the big burly man a second time.
Once again, he was pushed away by the big man, yet he got up, dusted himself off again, and stepped between the big, burly man and the door a third time.
This kept happening until finally a policeman reacted to the commotion and rushed over to hear what the fight was about.
“Well,” said the big burly man, “I was here at the front of the line since early this morning, and this old man had the nerve to just push in front of me to the head of the line!”
The police officer asked for the old man’s side of the story.
“What that man said is correct. I did push in front of him several times, and if he keeps shoving me away, I’m not going to open the store.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What is the Baha’i religion?
Baha’i was founded by Mirza Husayn ‘Ali Nuri, who took the name Baha u’ llah (Glory of God) while in exile in Baghdad. His coming was foretold by Mirza Ali Mohammad, also known as al-Bab, who founded Babism in 1844. From this the Baha’i fairth grew. It’s central tenets are the oneness of God, the oneness of humanity, and the common foundation of all religion. People practicing the Baha’i religion believe in the equality of men and women, universal education, world peace, and the creation of a world system of government. There are more than 5 million followers of the Baha’i religion.
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LIFE LESSON: “Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” Benjamin Franklin
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When I really want to get my wife going, I say those three little words that she loves to hear: “You were right.”
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the equal rights of another, and this is all from which the laws ought to restrain him – Thomas Jefferson
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