I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable; to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all. – Leo C. Rosten
FOR TODAY – FEBRUARY 1st – MONDAY
32nd day of 2010 with 333 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* Women’s Heart Health Day
* Robinson Crusoe Day
* National Baked Alaska Day* National Freedom Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1901 – Clark Gable, Cadiz OH, actor (Gone With The Wind)
1909 – George Beverly Shea, Canadian singer (Billy Graham Crusades)
1931 – Boris Yeltsin, 1st President of the Russian Federation
1937 – Don Everly, Brownie KY , musician (Everly Brothers)
1940 – Bibi Besch, Vienna Austria, actress (Dr. Carol Marcus/Star Trek 2, The Beast Within)
1942 – Terry Jones, Welsh actor and writer (Monty Python)
1961 – Daniel Tani, Ridley Park PA, NASA astronaut (100th spacewalk on the International Space Station)
1965 – Princess Stéphanie of Monaco
1968 – Lisa Marie Presley, Memphis TN, singer and actress
1968 – Pauly Shore, Hollywood CA, comedian (Totally Pauly, Encino Man)
1979 – Rachelle LeFevre, Canadian actress (Victoria/Twilight)
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Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all. – Sam Ewing
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1790 – Supreme Court convenes for the first time in New York City.
1865 – President Abraham Lincoln signs the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution.
1893 – Thomas A. Edison finishes construction of the first motion picture studio, the Black Maria in West Orange, New Jersey.
1920 – The Royal Canadian Mounted Police begins operations.
1957 – Felix Wankel’s first working prototype DKM 54 of the Wankel engine was running at the NSU research and development department Versuchsabteilung TX in Germany
1979 – Convicted bank robber Patty Hearst is released from prison after her sentence was commuted by President Jimmy Carter.
1992 – The Chief Judicial Magistrate of Bhopal court declares Warren Anderson, ex-CEO of Union Carbide, a fugitive under Indian law for failing to appear in the Bhopal Disaster case.
2003 – Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates during reentry into the Earth’s atmosphere, killing all seven astronauts aboard.
2005 – Canada introduces the Civil Marriage Act, making Canada the fourth country to sanction same-sex marriage.
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The night before she was to attend a celebrity golf tournament, my friend Irene went to a party in honor of the event. Several of the famous athletes who were playing in the tournament were at the door greeting guests. Among them was Joe Montana, the pro football Hall of Fame quarterback and Super Bowl winner. Shaking my friend’s hand, he said, “Hi! Joe Montana.”
She didn’t know Joe Montana from Joe Six-Pack, so in all sincerity she extended her hand and said, “Irene. Minnesota.”
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Our Bible class teacher in asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert.
“The Lord heard you when you wailed, ‘If only we had meat to eat!’” she began. “Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month — until you loathe it.”
When the woman finished, she paused, looked up, and said, “Hey, isn’t that the Atkins diet?”
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ONE-LINERS: Thoughts on Marriage. . .
~ Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
~ They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
~ When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
~ When a man says it’s a silly, childish game, it’s probably something his wife can beat him at. (Epperson’s law)
~ Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. (Ray Bandy)
~ If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
~ Once a boy becomes a man, he’s a man all his life. But a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife. (Al Bundy)
~ An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. (Agatha Christie)
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Three statisticians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first statistician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second statistician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right.
The third statistician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “On the average we got it!”
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pic of the day: Ewe Sheep in Snow Flurries
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One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when appeared before her.
“My daughter, you have pleased Me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and
commend you, but to grant you anything you wish.”
“Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways.”
“There must be something you would have of Me.”
“Well, there is one thing …”
“Just name it.”
“It’s those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop.”
“Consider it done. Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you?”
“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth Your time.”
“Name it. Please.”
“It’s the M&M’s. They’re so hard to peel …”
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Ole and Lena lived on a lake in Northern Minnesota . It was late fall and the lake had just frozen over. Ole asked, “Lena vud you walk across th’ lake t’ th’ general store an’ pick me up some tobacco?”
“They’ll vant money.”
“Have them put it on our tab.”
So Lena walked across the frozen lake, got the tobacco and walked back. Then she said, “He didn’t want to gimme this because you’re behind on your tab. Vy didn’t you give me money?”
“Vy vould I give you money ven I vasn’t sure how tick de ice vas?”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
“Waiter, my soup bowl must be cracked. The place mat is all wet.”
“You ordered vegetable soup, didn’t you?”
“Yes …”
“Maybe it has a leek in it.”
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You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let’s say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.
A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words:
“Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889.”
Pretty grim situation, right? But let’s spin things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image, and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot.
Next, we rewrite the text:
“Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.
“Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.
“In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency.
“In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: National Freedom Day is a United States holiday honoring the date Abraham Lincoln signed a joint House and Senate resolution that later became the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The Amendment outlawing slavery was signed by President Lincoln on February 1, 1865, although it was not ratified by the states until later.
A former slave, Major Richard Robert Wright Sr., invited local and national leaders to meet to organize a movement for a national holiday to commemorate Lincoln’s signing of the 13th Amendment. The resulting National Freedom Association proposed having a special day to call attention to the continuing struggle for freedom for African-Americans. February 1st was chosen since that was the day President Lincoln had signed the 13th Amendment. The first commemoration took place in 1942 at Independence Hall in Philadelphia. The remembrance included laying a wreath at the Liberty Bell, as it has every year since then.
President Harry Truman signed a bill proclaiming February 1st as National Freedom Day on June 30, 1948. However, it isn’t a federal holiday; so government offices and banks are still open for business.
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LIFE LESSON: “Never forget that life can only be noble inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.” Annie Besant
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“One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.” – Nancy Astor
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: If the people who make the decisions are the people who will also bear the consequences of those decisions, perhaps better decisions will result. – John Abrams
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