Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try! – Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
FOR TODAY – FEBRUARY 7th- MONDAY
38th day of 2010 with 327 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Fettuccine Alfredo Day
*Wave All you Fingers at Your Neighbor Day
*Send a Card to a Friend Day – obviously created by a card company
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1804 John Deere, Rutland, Vermont, blacksmith, pioneer manufacturer of agricultural implements
- 1812 Charles Dickens, England, author (Oliver Twist, Tale of 2 Cities)
- 1834 Dmitri Mendeleev, Siberia, Russian chemist (devised Periodic Table)
- 1837 Sir James Augustus Henry Murray, Scotland, lexiographer/created Oxford Dictionary
- 1867 Laura Ingalls Wilder, Pepin County, Wisconsin, children’s book author (Little House on Prairie)
- 1877 Godfrey Harold Hardy, English mathematician, known for his achievements in number theory and mathematical analysis
- 1885 Sinclair Lewis, Sauk Centre, Minnesota, writer, became the first writer from the United States to be awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature, “for his vigorous and graphic art of description and his ability to create, with wit and humor, new types of characters.”
- 1905 Ulf von Euler, Stockholm, Sweden,physiologist, known for Neurotransmitter, Norepinephrine, Prostaglandin
- 1908 Clarence Linden “Buster” Crabbe, Oakland, California, swimmer (Olympics-gold-1932)/actor (Tarzan, Flash Gordon)
- 1920 An Wang, Chinese-born computer pioneer, Wang Laboratories (National Inventors Hall of Fame)
- 1932 Al Worden, Jackson, Michigan, American astronaut, the command module pilot for the Apollo 15 moon mission in July–August 1971
- 1960 James Spader, Boston, Massachusetts, actor (Pretty in Pink; sex, lies, and videotape; Crash; Stargate; and Secretary )
- 1962 Garth Brooks, Tulsa, Oklahoma, singer ( 2007: Ultimate Hits)
- 1965 Jason Gedrick, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Murder One , Boomtown, Iron Eagle )
- 1965 Chris Rock, Andrews, South Carolina, actor and comedian (Grown Ups, Death at a Funeral, Good Hair)
- 1975 Wes Borland, Richmond, Virginia, guitarist (Limp Bizkit)
- 1978 Ashton Kutcher, Cedar Rapids, Iowa,actor (That ’70s Show. He also created, produced and hosted Punk’d, and played lead roles in the Hollywood films Dude, Where’s My Car?, Just Married, The Butterfly Effect, The Guardian, What Happens in Vegas)
- 1993 David Dorfman, Los Angeles, California, actor ( The Ring)
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all. – Anatole France
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1301 Edward of Caernarvon (later King Edward II of England) becomes the first English Prince of Wales.
- 1795 The 11th Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified.
- 1863 HMS Orpheus sinks off the coast of Auckland, New Zealand, killing 189.
- 1894 The Cripple Creek miner’s strike, led by the Western Federation of Miners, begins in Cripple Creek, Colorado.
- 1940 The second full length animated Walt Disney film, Pinocchio, premieres.
- 1943 Imperial Japanese naval forces complete the evacuation of Imperial Japanese Army troops from Guadalcanal during Operation Ke, ending Japanese attempts to retake the island from Allied forces in the Guadalcanal Campaign.
- 1962 President Kennedy begins blockade of Cuba, banning all Cuban imports and exports.
- 1974 Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles” opens in movie theaters.
- 1979 Pluto moves inside Neptune’s orbit for the first time since either was discovered.
- 1984 STS-41-B Mission – Astronauts Bruce McCandless II and Robert L. Stewart make the first untethered space walk using the Manned Maneuvering Unit (MMU).
- 1986 Twenty-eight years of one-family rule end in Haiti, when President Jean-Claude Duvalier flees the Caribbean nation.
- 1992 The Maastricht Treaty is signed, which will lead to the creation of the European Union.
1999 Crown Prince Abdullah becomes the King of Jordan on the death of his father, King Hussein. - 2009 Bushfires in Victoria left 173 dead in the worst natural disaster in Australia’s history.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter, countless hours of peekaboo and other games slowly took their toll.
One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to her side and asked where it hurt.
She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan, “It’s the piggy that ate roast beef.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
So, I saw this friend of mine today. He was sitting in a chair, holding a bag of candy drops, and crying.
So I asked him, “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m thinking of all these sad things,” he said.
“But why?” I asked.
“Because I want to make myself cry,” he said.
“Why would you do that?” I asked.
“Because I want to open this candy bag!” he said.
“How is crying going to help you open the bag?” I asked.
“It says here,” he said, pointing to the bag, “Tear here!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
ONE-LINERS :
Quirks About Life …
that you notice by the time you are fifty
Most people deserve each other.
All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.
The one who snores will fall asleep first.
The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.
If you help a relative in need, he or she will remember you the next time they are in need.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.
Toothaches always start on Friday night when the dentist’s office will be closed for the weekend.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
‘Did you see the paper?’ asked Gallagher. ‘They say I died!!’
‘Yes, I saw it!’ replied Finney. ‘Where are ye callin’ from?’
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
pic of the day: Wooden Bridge
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
*Ever wonder WHY the Government is in the shape that it’s in today? A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble: (I suspect this is fictional, but it’s still funny.*~ A Senator’s aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ‘Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?’
~ A lady senator called and said, ‘I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?’ I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, ‘Yeah, whatever, smarty!’
~ A senior senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to Africa. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to Africa many times and never had to have one of those.’ I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ‘Look, I’ve been to Africa four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!’
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
The Very Worst Howlers By Schoolchildren
This is from “Must Try Harder! The Very Worst Howlers By Schoolchildren” by Norman McGreevy, published by Constable 2007
On RELIGION:
~ The Jews were a proud people, but always had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
~ Solomon had 300 wives and 700 cucumbers.
~ The Papal bull was a mad bull kept by the Pope in the Inquisition to trample on Protestants.
~ The Philistines are islands in the Pacific.
~ The end of the world will make a turning point in everyone’s life.
~ The natives of Macedonia did not believe in Paul, so he got stoned.
~ Pompeii was destroyed by an overflow of saliva from the Vatican.
On ANIMALS:
~ An armadillo is an ornamental shrub.
~ To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.
~ Marsupials are poached animals.
~ The adder is a poisonous snack.
~ An octogenarian is an animal which has eight young at birth.
~ One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
~ The largest mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Q: What’s green, and sings?
A: Elvis Parsley
====
Q: What did one candle say to the other candle?
A: Are you going out tonight?
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
This disheveled-looking guy walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
The bartender says, “What’s eating you?”
The guy says, “My wife left me this morning, I got laid off this afternoon, my car got wrecked earlier tonight, and my dog died in the vet’s office.”
The bartender says, “Wow! I forgot the punch line!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
“Because my mother had a habit of losing her cell phone, I bought her a clip for it so she could attach it directly to her belt. A few days later, I walked into my mother’s home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn’t strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them.
“Don’t look at me that way,” she yelled. “The phone started ringing and I couldn’t figure out how to undo this stupid clip!”
(P.S. If you are laughing, then you probably are relating to the story. )
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
TODAY IN TRIVIA: Fettucine Alfredo
~Fettuccine alfredo is a pasta dish ready with fettuccine pasta tossed with Parmesan cheese and butter.
~In US cuisine it may be mixed with assorted ingredients such as broccoli, parsley, cream, garlic, shrimp, or chicken.
~This was created during the 1920s by Alfredo di Lelio, at his restaurant in Rome, ‘Alfredo all’Augusteo’.
~The original recipe was really consisted of butter, cream, fresh ground black pepper and Parmesan cheese.
~ Chicken and vegetables, such as peas, are frequently served on top
~Alfredo sauce which is thickened with starch is often sold as a convenience food in many grocery stores in the United States.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
LIFE LESSON: I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: I didn’t trip. I was testing gravity. It still works.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. – Buddha
Related Posts :
Related posts: