All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
FOR TODAY – FEBRUARY 12th – FRIDAY
43rd day of 2010 with 322 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* Lincoln’s Birthday
* Georgia Day
* Plum Pudding Day
* 2010 Olympics Winter Games begin
* Red Hand Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1775 – Louisa Adams, First Lady of the United States, wife of John Quincy Adams
1809 – Charles Darwin, English naturalist
1809 – Abraham Lincoln, Hardin Co. KY, 16th President of the United States
1881 – Anna Pavlova, Russian ballerina (regarded as one of the most famous and popular classical ballet dancers in history; most noted as a Principal artist of the Imperial Russian Balle;most known for creation of the role The Dying Swan and with her own company, would become the first ballerina to tour ballet around the world).
1893 – Omar Bradley, Clark Missouri, American general (one of the main U.S. Army field commanders in North Africa and Europe during WWII; General- last surviving five-star commissioned officer; first Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff)
1915 – Lorne Greene, Canadian actor (Ben Cartwright/Bonanza; Commander Adama/original Battlestar Galactica)
1926 – Joe Garagiola, St. Louis MO, baseball player and announcer, Today Show panelist
1948 – Raymond Kurzweil, Queens NY, inventor and author (optical character recognition (OCR), text-to-speech synthesis, speech recognition technology, and electronic keyboard instruments/ books on health, artificial intelligence (AI), transhumanism, the technological singularity, and futurism)
1950 – Michael Ironside, Canadian actor (Scanners, V: The Final Battle, Top Gun Extreme Prejudice, Total Recall)
1955 – Arsenio Hall, Cleveland OH, actor and talk show host
1980 – Sarah Lancaster, Overland Park KS, actress (Save By The Bell, Everwood, Scrubs)
1980 – Christina Ricci, Santa Monica CA, actress (Wednesday/The Addams Family; Casper, That Darn Cat, The Ice Storm)
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Values are where the hard stuff and the soft stuff come together. – Robert Haas
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1733 – Englishman James Oglethorpe founds Georgia, the 13th colony of the Thirteen Colonies, and its first city at Savannah (known as Georgia Day).
1825 – The Creek cede the last of their lands in Georgia to the United States government, and migrate west.
1831 – Rubber galoshes first went on sale, in Boston, Massachusetts, US.
1855 – Michigan State University is established.
1878 – Frederick W. Thayer, the captain of the Harvard University Baseball Club, patented the now familiar, baseball catcher’s mask.
1879 – The first artificial ice rink in North America opens at Gilmore’s Park in New York City.
1909 – The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) is founded.
1914 – In Washington, D.C., the first stone of the Lincoln Memorial is put into place.
1924 – Calvin Coolidge becomes the first President of the United States to deliver a political speech on radio.
1999 – President Bill Clinton is acquitted by the United States Senate in his impeachment trial.
2001 – NEAR Shoemaker spacecraft touchdown in the “saddle” region of 433 Eros becoming the first spacecraft to land on an asteroid.
2002 – The trial of former President of Federal Republic of Yugoslavia Slobodan Miloševi begins at the United Nations war crimes tribunal in The Hague. He dies four years later before its conclusion.
2002 – US Secretary of Energy makes the decision that Yucca Mountain is a suitable site for a deep geological repository for the United States.
2006 – A powerful winter storm blankets the Northeastern United States dumping 1 to 2 feet of snow from Washington D.C. to Boston, Massachusetts. The storm dumps a record 26.9 inches of snow in New York City.
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A man who hadn’t attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit.
The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, “How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!”
“Well, Preacher,” said the fisherman, “Quite honestly, it’s a matter of choice. I’d much rather hear your sermon than hers.”
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I had spent several weeks in Navy basic training as a female recruit and I had developed a hearty appetite. When I noticed my uniforms beginning to fit snugly, I announced to everyone that it was fruit juice and salad for me from then on. My resolve lasted until mess the next evening. As I was about to sink my fork into a plateful of breaded pork chops and mashed potatoes, a recruit sitting next to me grabbed my hand. “The CO told us he wanted us ‘ship-shape,’” she said, “not ‘ship-shaped.’” – Betsy Lank
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ONE-LINERS : Why I Don’t Clean
1. I don’t do windows because … I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
2. I don’t wax floors because … I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves. I’ll feel terrible and they may sue me.
3. I don’t mind the dust bunnies because …. they are very good company. I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
4. I don’t disturb cobwebs because . I want every creature to have a home of their own and hubby loves spiders.
5. I don’t Spring Clean because … I love all the seasons and don’t want the others to get jealous.
6. I don’t plant a garden because … I don’t want to get in God’s way. He is an excellent designer.
7. I don’t put things away because … my husband will never be able to find them again.
8. I don’t do gourmet meals when I entertain because … I don’t want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
9. I don’t iron because … I choose to believe them when they say “Permanent Press”.
10. I don’t stress much on anything because …
“A Type” personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up fiesty ol’ woman!!!!
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A friend of mine spent two weeks at a Boy Scout Camp out west. Halfway through their stay, the boys received “care” packages from home and many of them contained checks for spending money. A group of them went into town to cash these checks at the local bank.
One Scout was having some trouble because he’d lost his wallet. He insisted that he had identification on him, but didn’t want to show it. The young woman who was serving as a teller that day, however, insisted upon seeing it. So the young man climbed up onto the counter and whispered into her ear.
She motioned for him to come around behind the counter where they could have a little more privacy. My friend, who was tall enough to see over the counter and keep an eye on things, reported that the blushing boy pulled out his shirt, folded down his belt, and then pulled up the label on his underwear.
The teller could see his name neatly written there with an indelible marker.
She cashed his check.
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pic of the day: Happy Valentine’s Day
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VALENTINE’S DAY HOOK-UPS
- If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she’d be Yoko Ono Bono.
- If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.
- If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.
- If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she’d be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
- If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
- If Bea Arthur married Sting, she’d be Bea Sting.
- If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
- How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he’d be Boog Alou.
- If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
- If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
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I overheard a conversation during lunch today. It was between a young woman and an older woman who, I assumed, was her mother.
“I haven’t slept in three days,” said the younger woman. “The baby is teething and he’s up all night, crying.”
“Why don’t you just rub a thimble full of brandy on his gums?” asked the older woman. “That will numb those teeth up and put him right to sleep,” she went on to explain.
“I can’t give the baby alcohol! Lord knows what that will do to him!” protested the daughter.
“Well, it never hurt you any.”
The look on the daughter’s face was priceless.
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I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, “What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?”
Expecting to see “the D-Day invasion” as the answer, I found instead on one paper, “Moses and the plague of frogs.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE VALENTINE PUN ZONE!
What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hog and kisses!
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine’s Day!
What did the Valentines card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we’ll go places!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
“I’m sweet on you!”
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!
What did one pickle say to the other?
“You mean a great dill to me.”
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a ton!”
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”
Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!
What did the pencil say to the paper?
“I dot my i’s on you!”
Liz: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”
Jon: “Really?”
Liz: “Yeah, you make me sick!”
Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!
What did one light bulb say to the other?
“I love you a whole watt!”
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!
“Do you love me more than you love sleep?”
“I can’t answer now. It’s time for my nap!”
What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
“I’ve got a crutch on you!”
Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.
What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
“Be my valenstein!”
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VALENTINE’S DAY TRIVIA
~ 73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine’s Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.
~ 15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day.
~ About 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged each year. That’s the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas.
~ About 3% of pet owners will give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.
~ California produces 60 percent of American roses, but the vast number sold on Valentine’s Day in the United States are imported, mostly from South America. Approximately 110 million roses, the majority (red), will be sold and delivered within a three-day time period.
~ February 14, 270 A.D. : Roman Emperor Claudius II, dubbed “Claudius the Cruel,” beheaded a priest named Valentine for performing marriage ceremonies. Claudius II had outlawed marriages when Roman men began refusing to go to war in order to stay with their wives.
~ Hallmark has over 1330 different cards specifically for Valentine’s Day.
~ In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.
~ In the United States, 64 percent of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine’s Day with their sweethearts.
~ Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine’s Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.
~ Teachers will receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts. Children ages 6 to 10 exchange more than 650 million Valentine’s cards with teachers, classmates, and family members.
~ In the 17th century a hopeful maiden ate a hard-boiled egg and pinned five bay leaves to her pillow before going to sleep on Valentine’s eve. It was believed this would make her dream of her future husband.
~ The Empire State Building in New York City played a prominent role in the movie “Sleepless in Seattle.” Each year and average of 15 couples will take (or renew) their vows on the 80th floor of this famous landmark.
~ The Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare’s lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet every Valentine’s Day.
~ The red rose was the favorite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love. Red stands for strong feelings which is why a red rose is a flower of love.
~ Valentine’s Day is big business. Consumers will spend an average of $77.43 on Valentine’s Day gifts this year. E-commerce retailers expect to rack up about $650 million in sales of food, candy, flowers, and other Valentine’s Day gifts. Of that amount about $350 million will be for gifts and flowers and another $45 million will be spent on food (including chocolate) and wine.
~ Wearing a wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand dates back to ancient Egypt, where it was believed that the vein of love ran from this finger directly to the heart.
~ Chocolate manufacturers currently use 40 percent of the world’s almonds and 20 percent of the world’s peanuts.
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LIFE LESSON: When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure. – Alice Hoffman, ‘Here on Earth’
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Bald spot? No, that’s a solar panel for brain power.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: “You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.” -Woodrow Wilson
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