When you give each other everything, it becomes an even trade. Each wins all. – Lois McMaster Bujold
FOR TODAY – MARCH 5th – FRIDAY
64th day of 2010 with 301 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* Multiple Personality Day
* Employee Appreciation Day
* National Salesperson Day
* Stop the Clocks Day
* Learn from Lei Feng Day (China)
*St Piran’s Day – Cornwall’s national day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1836 Charles Goodnight, Macoupin Co. IL, cattle rancher (Father of the Texas Panhandle)
1853 Howard Pyle, Wilmington DE, author and illustrator (Merry Adventures of Robin Hood, Men of Iron/Black Shield of Falworth)
1908 Sir Rex Harrison, English actor (Anna & The King of Siam, The Ghost & Mrs. Muir, Cleopatra, My Fair Lady, Dr. Dolittle)
1927 Jack Cassidy, Richmond Hill NY, actor (Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, The Andersonville Trail, The Eiger Sanction)
1934 James B. Sikking, Los Angeles CA, actor (Hill St. Blues, Doogie Howser M.D., Star Trek III/Captain Styles)
1936 Dean Stockwell, Hollywood CA, actor (Quantum Leap, Battlestar Galactica, ST Enterprise, Dune, Married to the Mob)
1942 Mike Resnick, Chicago IL, science fiction author (Seven Views of Olduvai Gorge, Kirinyaga, Travels with my Cats)
1955 Penn Jillette, Greenfield MA, magician and comedian (Dancing w/the Stars, Drell/Sabrinia Teenage Witch, The Aristocrats, Toy Story)
1958 Andy Gibb, English-born Australian singer and teen idol – Beegees (d. 1988)
1975 Jolene Blalock, San Diego CA, actress (ST Enterprise/T’Pol, Slow Burn, Stargate SG-1/Ishta)
1989 Jake Lloyd, Fort Collins CO, actor (young Anakin Skywalker/Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Jingle All The Way)
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Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. – Mahatma Gandhi
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1770 Boston Massacre: Five Americans, including a black man named Crispus Attucks, and a boy are killed by British troops in an event that would contribute to the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War five years later.
1836 Samuel Colt makes the first production-model revolver, the .34-caliber.
1868 A court of impeachment is organized in the United States Senate to hear charges against President Andrew Johnson.
1872 George Westinghouse patents the air brake.
1933 Great Depression: President Franklin D. Roosevelt declares a “bank holiday”, closing all U.S. banks and freezing all financial transactions.
1942 “SEABEES”, US Navy’s Mobile Construction Battalions, officially formed.
1946 Winston Churchill uses the phrase “Iron Curtain” in his speech at Westminster College, Missouri.
1979 Voyager 1′s closest approach to Jupiter, 172,000 miles.
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Two postal carriers had just finished their routes for the day when one of them watched as the other turned and stepped on a snail.
“Why did you step on that snail, Tom?” asked the perplexed coworker.
“Well, I’m just sick of it. That darn snail’s been following me around all day!”
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A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. “Where’s Henry?” the others asked.
“Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.
“You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they inquired.
“A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!”
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ONE-LINERS : Things that you should know by now
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
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My wife decided that our 10-year old daughter should finally have her own savings account. Our daughter was thrilled, and they made the excursion to the bank happily.
“Since this is going to be your account, sweetie,” said my wife, “I want you to fill out the paperwork.” Again, our daughter was happy to take on this “adult” responsibility.
When it came to the blank on the form for “Name of Your Former Bank,” our daughter thought for a moment, then penciled in, “Piggy.”
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pic of the day: Ewe sheep and chicken
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Our precocious four-year old had reached the age where he thought he deserved an allowance. So he approached me after supper one evening and demanded one.
“And just what do you do around here that makes you think you deserve an allowance?” I asked him.
“Well, for one thing,” he replied, “I keep your wife occupied all day.”
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A few years ago, I decided to visit my sister who was living in France. I assumed that most French would speak English. I found that many people spoke only their own language and this included the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making several expansive gestures. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.
When he had gone, an American tourist, also on the train, leaned forward and asked if I spoke French.
“No,” I admitted.
“Then that explains,” she said, “why you didn’t bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ You know why cowboys limp during cattle branding season? They have sore calves.
~ It was my first day at the seafood restaurant, but shortly after I got there, I had to leave: I’d pulled a mussel.
~ My wife thinks I’m addicted to staying out of banks. I have to agree; whenever I’m in one I go through withdrawal.
~ Did I tell you about the upholsterer who put chains on his tires? He called them slip covers.
~ “Why do you sing that song so often?”
“The melody haunts me.”
“It should. You murder it every time you sing it.”
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Every time, Peter, the man next door headed toward Paul’s house, Paul knew he was coming to borrow something, he was always doing so and it was driving him
“Peter won’t get away with it this time,” muttered Paul to Liz, his wife, “Watch this.”
“Er, I wonder if you’d be using your hedge trimmer this morning?” asked Paul the neighbor.
“I’m terribly sorry,” said Paul with a smug look, “but the fact of the matter is, I’ll be using it all day.”
“In that case,” smiled Peter, “you won’t be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?”
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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and behind are interchangeable.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Learn from Lei Feng Day
Lei Feng was born on December 18, 1940. He was a soldier of the People’s Liberation Army in the People’s Republic of China.
After his death ( August 15, 1962), Lei Feng was characterised as a modest, unselfish type person who was devoted to the Communist Party, Chairman Mao Zedong, and the people of China.
Mao started a campaign called ”Learn from Comrade Lei Feng” in 1963. The youth of China were indoctrinated to follow his example, and he became a symbol of nationwide propaganda.
Even after Mao’s death, Lei Feng remained a symbol of selflessness, modesty, and dedication. ~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
LIFE LESSON: Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders…. Make the fault easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.” Dale Carnegie
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Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others. – Groucho Marx
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories and it is a pity that you use it so little. – Rachel Carson
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