Life is the sum of all your choices. – Albert Camus
FOR TODAY – MARCH 10th – THURSDAY
69th day of 2011 with 296 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* National Blueberry Popover Day
* Middle Name Pride Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1923 Val Logsdon Fitch, Merriman, Nebraska, particle physics scientist (Nobel/ Discovery of CP-violation)
- 1920 [Kenneth C] “Jethro” Burns, Conasauga, Tennessee, mandolinist/country singer (Homer & Jethro)
- 1940 Chuck [Carlos Ray] Norris, Ryan, Oklahoma, martial arts actor (Walker Texas Ranger, Missing in Action)
- 1956 Robert Llewellyn, British writer, Actor, Presenter (Kryten/Red Dwarf; Scrap Heap Challenge)
- 1958 Sharon Stone, Meadville, Pennsylvania, actress (Basic Instinct, Sliver, Casino, Bobbie, The Practice)
- 1961 Laurel Clark, Ames, Iowa, doctor, Navy captain, astronaut (died 2003 in Space Shuttle Columbia disaster)
- 1964 Jasmine Guy, Boston, Maine, actress (Whitley-Different World)
- 1964 Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex
- 1966 Stephen Mailer, New York City, New York, actor (Red Meat, League of Their Own, War & Love, The Golden Boys)
- 1971 Jon Hamm, St. Louis, Missouri, actor (Space Cowboys, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Madmen)
- 1972 Matt Kenseth, Cambridge, Wisconsin, NASCAR race car driver
- 1977 Shannon Miller, Rolla, Missouri, gymnast (1996 Olympic gold medalist; most decorated gymnast is US history)
- 1979 Edi Gathegi, Nairoba, Kenya, actor (House, Gone Baby Gone, Twilight)
- 1983 Carrie Underwood, Checotah, Oklahoma, country singer (winner 4th season American Idol)
- 1984 Olivia Wilde, New York City, New York, actress (The O.C., House)
- 1992 Emily Osment, Los Angeles, California, actress/ singer (Spy Kids II, Hannah Montana, The Haunting Hour)
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It may be life is only worthwhile at moments. Perhaps that is all we ought to expect. – Sherwood Anderson
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1804 In St. Louis, Missouri, a formal ceremony is conducted to transfer ownership of the Louisiana Territory from France to the United States.
- 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo is ratified by the United States Senate, ending the Mexican-American War.
- 1876 Alexander Graham Bell makes the first successful telephone call by saying “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you.”
- 1891 Almon Strowger, an undertaker in Topeka, Kansas, patents the Strowger switch, a device which led to the automation of telephone circuit switching.
- 1969 James Earl Ray pleads guilty in murder of Martin Luther King Jr.
- 1975 Dog spectacles patented in England.
- 1977 Rings of Uranus discovered during occultation of SAO.
- 1980 Formation of the Irish Army Ranger Wing
- 1982 Syzygy: all 9 planets align on the same side of the Sun. See also Jupiter effect.
- 2000 NASDAQ Composite stock market index peaks at 5132.52, signaling the beginning of the end of the dot-com boom.
- 2006 Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter arrives at Mars.
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An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she stated, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”
The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”
The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”
The old lady replied, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night.”
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An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. ”Hit him again,” the 5-year-old said. ”He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place!”
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ONE-LINERS : Best Reasons to be an economist
1. It’s a great way to pick up girls, because they’ll think you HAVE money.
2. It’s as interesting or more so than being a political scientist.
3. It’s a lot more fun than the “Where’s Waldo” club. You get to find the missing money in the deficit budget picture!!!
4. Good pay for sitting around in dressy clothes and discuss what other people should do about problems we all face.
5. Business people will respect you and thus give you great deals on all the best drugs.
6. It’s the best way to stay out of politics. If you know what you’re doing, then you’re totally unqualified for office.
7. The feeling of superiority. Nothing beats talking down to a bunch of people who haven’t got a clue and are willing to go along with whatever you say because they assume you know what you’re talking about.
8. It’s a good way to assure dinner reservations.
9. Early retirement. Shoot, the career and the retirement will all seem the same.
10. You sweat a lot less than accountants do.
11. You can tell the girls: Trust me, I am an economist.
12. You can claim a *reason* for using a portable computer on the bus.
13. Nobody will ever ask you for a few dollars over the weekend.
14. You can read the financial pages while drinking daiquiris in the bar.
15. The ability to coldly stare muscled bullies into the eyes and snarl: – According to Smith’s theorem, you are WRONG.
16. You can tell people exactly what the right thing to buy is — and afterwards, you can tell them exactly why it didn’t work.
17. You can get a job at any McDonald’s.
18. Wearing pin-striped suits in public.
19. Getting to join the ‘Wall Street’ fan club.
20. Never be expected to actually *create* anything.
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As an assistant professor, I taught during the day and did research at night. I would usually take a break around eight, however, to play the strategy game Warcraft online with a teammate.
One night I was paired with a veteran of the game who was a master strategist. With him at the helm, our troops crushed one opponent after another, and after six games we were undefeated. Suddenly, my fearless leader informed me his mom wanted him to go to bed.
“How old are you?” I typed.
“Twelve,” he replied. “How old are you?”
Feeling my face redden, I answered, “Ten.”
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pic of the day: Cumberland Falls in Kentucky
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The couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. An interviewer asked, “Could you please share the secret to a long marriage?”
The husband answered, “Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings, or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that it is because of her shortcomings and weaknesses that she could not find a better husband than you.”
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I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center, and rolled down the car windows to make sure my yellow Lab puppy had enough fresh air.
She was stretched-out on the back seat and I needed to impress upon her that she must remain in the car. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Stay … You stay. Do you hear me?” over and over again.
The driver of a nearby car gave me a strange look and shouted, “Why don’t you just put it in Park?”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A screw fell out from my glasses and I couldn’t find it. I called the optometrist’s office and explained what happened. The receptionist told me to bring in my glasses and they would repair them.
That afternoon I called her back to let her know I was on my way.
The receptionist asked, “Who’s calling, please?”
“I’m the one with the screw missing.”
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One day, a guy was on his way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as he sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into his windshield. If that wasn’t strange enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there the guy was with a bird stuck on his windshield. Without any other apparent options, he turned on the windshield wipers to try to get rid of the bird. It actually worked. On the upswing, the bird flew off, and it slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind him. Unfortunately, the car behind him was a police car.
Immediately the lights went on and he was forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told him that he saw what had happened at the light. Trying to plead his case fell on deaf ears. The officer simply stated, ”I am going to have to write you up for flipping me the bird.”
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A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds over each bird and only the legs showing.
He sat right in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each set of bird legs and give the common name, habitat, genus, species, and identifying characteristic.
The student looked at each set of bird legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying, and now he had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it, the madder he got.
Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore.
He went to the professor’s desk and said “What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?” With that the student threw his test on the professor’s desk and walked out the door.
The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn’t know every student’s name, so as the student reached the door, the professor called out “One moment, son, what’s your name?”
The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said “You guess buddy! You guess!”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: It’s about ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL
~A scientist and the Inventor of the telephone and telegraph. He is also credited with the invention of the metal detector, hydrofoils, and aeronautics.
~His contribution in the field of science also includes groundbreaking work in hydrofoils and aeronautics.
~Bell’s inventions spanned a wide range of interests and included the audiometer to detect minor hearing problems, a device to locate icebergs, investigations on how to separate salt from seawater, and work on finding alternative fuels. In medical research, he invented techniques for teaching speech to the deaf.
~He was inspired to teach speech to deaf people because his mother and wife were deaf. The 2 ladies overwhelmingly influenced Bell’s life’s work.
~In 1880, Bell received the Volta Prize of 50,000 francs ($10,000) for the invention of the telephone from L’Académie Française, representing the French government, in Paris.
~After 75 years of a happy life, he past away on the 2nd of August 1922 at Beinn, Bhreagh, Nova Scotia. He died of pernicious anemia.
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LIFE LESSON: The great business of life is to be, to do, to do without, and to depart. – John, Viscount Morley
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QUIP OF THE DAY: We do not remember days; we remember moments. – Cesare Pavese
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one. – Benjamin Franklin
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