We cannot control the evil tongues of others; but a good life enables us to disregard them. – Cato the Elder
FOR TODAY – MARCH 10th – WEDNESDAY
69th day of 2010 with 296 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
* National Blueberry Popover Day
* Middle Name Pride Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1923 Val Logsdon Fitch, Merriman NE, particle physics scientist (Nobel/ Discovery of CP-violation)
1920 [Kenneth C] “Jethro” Burns, Conasauga TN, mandolinist/country singer (Homer & Jethro)
1940 Chuck [Carlos Ray] Norris, Ryan OK, martial arts actor (Walker Texas Ranger, Missing in Action)
1956 Robert Llewellyn, British writer, Actor, Presenter (Kryten/Red Dwarf; Scrap Heap Challenge)
1958 Sharon Stone, Meadville PA, actress (Basic Instinct, Sliver, Casino, Bobbie, The Practice)
1961 Laurel Clark, Ames IA, doctor, Navy captain, astronaut (died 2003 in Space Shuttle Columbia disaster)
1964 Jasmine Guy, Boston MA, actress (Whitley-Different World)
1964 Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex
1966 Stephen Mailer, NYC, actor (Red Meat, League of Their Own, War & Love, The Golden Boys)
1971 Jon Hamm, St. Louis MO, actor (Space Cowboys, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Madmen)
1972 Matt Kenseth, Cambridge WI, NASCAR race car driver
1977 Shannon Miller, Rolla MO, gymnast (1996 Olympic gold medalist; most decorated gymnist is US history)
1979 Edi Gathegi, Kenya/Albany CA, actor (House, Gone Baby Gone, Twilight)
1983 Carrie Underwood, Checotah OK, country singer (winner 4th season American Idol)
1984 Olivia Wilde, NYC, actress (The O.C., House)
1992 Emily Osment, Los Angeles CA, actress/ singer (Spy Kids II, Hannah Montana, The Haunting Hour)
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Admit your mistakes before someone else exaggerates them.
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1804 In St. Louis, Missouri, a formal ceremony is conducted to transfer ownership of the Louisiana Territory from France to the United States.
1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo is ratified by the United States Senate, ending the Mexican-American War.
1876 Alexander Graham Bell makes the first successful telephone call by saying “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you.”
1891 Almon Strowger, an undertaker in Topeka, Kansas, patents the Strowger switch, a device which led to the automation of telephone circuit switching.
1969 James Earl Ray pleads guilty in murder of Martin Luther King Jr.
1975 Dog spectacles patented in England.
1977 Rings of Uranus discovered during occultation of SAO.
1980 Formation of the Irish Army Ranger Wing
1982 Syzygy: all 9 planets align on the same side of the Sun. See also Jupiter effect.
2000 NASDAQ Composite stock market index peaks at 5132.52, signaling the beginning of the end of the dot-com boom.
2006 Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter arrives at Mars.
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I pride myself on being patient when teaching driver education, something I have done for 30 years. I have encountered many, many students, who didn’t seem to be able to hit the floor with their hat. But one incident was just too much.
I had a sweet young thing behind the wheel for the first lesson of the semester. She had volunteered to go first and seemed ready to show the other two kids how well she could drive. We left the rural school and started toward town.
As we approached the first stop sign, the young lady gave no sign that she saw it. We got closer, but she still did not slow down. Finally, I used the “teacher’s brake” pedal, on my side of the car, to get us stopped.
When I asked her why she didn’t slow down to stop for the stop sign, she replied, “but, Mr. Smith, the speed limit is 35 ALL the way to the stop sign!”
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It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.
“Let’s try to make this look natural,” she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.”
The father said, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand on my wallet?”
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ONE-LINERS : Ten Things To Learn from Noah’s Ark
1) Don’t miss the boat.
2) Remember that we are all in the same boat.
3) Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
4) Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
5) Build your future on high ground.
6) For safety’s sake, always travel in pairs.
7) Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
When you’re stressed, float a while.
9) Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
10) No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.
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At the next stop two more drunks got onto a bus. The first, name of Bill, asks “Will this bus take me to 25th Street?”
The bus driver says, “No, it won’t.”
After a pause, the second man, name of Gerry, inquires, “What about me?”
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pic of the day: Sunset
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Gender Differences for Nicknames
1) Women: If Claire, Louise and Hannah go out for lunch, they will call each other Claire, Louise and Hannah.
2) Men: If Russell, John and Trevor go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Jackson, Parrot-face and TC [Top Cat from the 1970’s television cartoon series].
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The banquet was about to begin when the master of ceremonies was informed that the clergyman invited to give the blessing was unable to attend. He asked the main speaker if he would oblige, and the man agreed.
He began, “There being no clergyman present, let us thank God.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Jalal was a vocal supporter of Kurdistan unification and the rights of his fellow countrymen living abroad. Because of his involvement in the politics of his country, Jalal had to travel a great deal. This upset his girlfriend, Shirien, who loved him deeply but found her feelings dampened by his frequent absences. While Jalal was away, Shirien fell in love with another man.
When Jalal returned from his travels, he found a note from Shirien, read it, and started wailing and tearing at his clothes.
“What’s wrong?” asked one of his friends.
Another looked at the note and realized that the situation wasn’t all that serious. The friend explained, “He’s only a Kurd in a jilted rage.”
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The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!” Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was?”
The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”
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A man in Alabama had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, “I have a flat tire.”
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: syzygy
In astronomy, a syzygy is the alignment of three or more celestial bodies in the same gravitational system along a straight line. The word is usually used in context with the Sun, Earth, and the Moon or a planet, where the latter is in conjunction or opposition. Solar and lunar eclipses occur at times of syzygy, as do transits and occultations. The term is also applied to each instance of new moon or full moon when Sun and Moon are in conjunction or opposition, even though they are not precisely on one line with the Earth.
The word ‘syzygy’ is often loosely used to describe interesting configurations of planets in general. For example, one such case occurred on March 21, 1894 at around 23:00 GMT, when Mercury transited the Sun as seen from Venus, and Mercury and Venus both simultaneously transited the Sun as seen from Saturn. It is also used to describe situations when all the planets are on the same side of the Sun although they are not necessarily found along a straight line, such as on March 10, 1982.
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LIFE LESSON: The best way to realize the pleasure of feeling rich is to live in a smaller house than your means would entitle you to have. – Edward Clarke
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Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit… but it’s still funny.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Life continues in lots of places — and life is a magical thing. – Laurel Clark
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