Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy. – Wayne Dyer
FOR TODAY – AUGUST 26th- THURSDAY
238th day of 2010 with 127 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Cherry Popsicle Day
*National Dog Day
*Women’s Equality Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1728 Johann Heinrich Lambert,Mülhausen, (currently Alsace, France), German scientist (Irrationality of π, Lambert-Beer-Bouguer Law)
- 1740 Joseph Montgolfier, Annonay, Ardèche, France, inventor, (one of the inventors of montgolfière-style hot air balloon, globe aérostatique).
- 1743 Antoine Lavoisier, Paris, France, chemist, stated the first version of the law of conservation of mass, recognized and named oxygen and hydrogen
- 1873 Lee De Forest, Council Bluffs, Iowa, inventor (Audion vacuum (radio) tube)
- 1906 Albert B Sabin, Russia, US microbiologist (oral polio vaccine)
- 1909 Jim Davis, Edgerton, Missouri, actor (Dallas)
- 1910 Mother Teresa, Üsküb, Ottoman Empire (today’s Skopje, Republic of Macedonia) Nobel Peace Prize winning Christian missionary (Blessed Teresa of Calcutta)
- 1942 Vic Dana, Buffalo, New York, singer (If I Never Knew Your Name)
- 1944 Maureen Tucker, Levittown, New York, musician (The Velvet Underground)
- 1959 Kathryn P Hire, Mobile Alabama, Lt Cmdr USN/astronaut (sk: STS 90)
- 1965 Chris Burke, Point Lookout, New York, actor with Down syndrome (Corky – Life Goes On)
- 1979 Allison Robertson, North Hollywood, California, musician (The Donnas)
- 1980 Macaulay Culkin, NYC, actor (Home Alone, My Girl, Richie Rich)
- 1980 Chris Pine, Los Angeles, California, actor (The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, Just My Luck)
- 1986 Cassie, New London, Connecticut, singer (Me & U)
- 1988 Evan Ross, Greenwich, Connecticut, actor (According to Greta)
- 1988 Danielle Savre, Simi Valley, California, actress (Bring It On: All or Nothing)
- 1990 Lil’ Chris,Lowestoft, England, singer-songwriter and TV personality (debut single “Checkin’ It Out”)
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Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. – Ed Cunningham
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1498 Michelangelo is commissioned to carve the Pietà.
- 1778The first recorded ascent of Triglav, the highest mountain in Slovenia.
- 1789 Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen approved by National Assembly at Palace of Versailles.
- 1858 First news dispatch by telegraph.
- 1862 American Civil War: the Second Battle of Bull Run begins.
- 1883 Krakatoa erupts with increasingly large explosions kills 36,000.
- 1920 19th amendment passes, women’s suffrage granted.
- 1957 The USSR announces the successful test of an ICBM – a “super long distance intercontinental multistage ballistic rocket … a few days ago,” according to the Soviet news agency, ITAR-TASS.
- 1970 The then new feminist movement, led by Betty Friedan, leads a nation-wide Women’s Strike for Equality.
- 1971 The United States Congress declares August 26th as an annual Women’s Equality Day.
- 1978 Papal conclave, 1978 (August): Pope John Paul I is elected to the Papacy.
- 1978Sigmund Jähn becomes first German cosmonaut on board of the Soyuz 31 spacecraft.
- 1987 President Ronald Reagan proclaims September 11, 1987 as 9-1-1 Emergency Number Day.
- 1992Václav Klaus and Vladimír Mečiar signed agreement of split of Czechoslovakia in Brno.
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Rhonda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t bother you.
But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!” “I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”
When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”
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My wife was standing in the kitchen, chatting with our tall, slim daughter, when our grandson came into the room.
“Grandma,” he said, “Mommy is much taller than you!”
My wife looked my daughter up and down and then said with mock sadness, “Yes, she is, isn’t she?”
“But don’t worry, Grandma” our grandson replied, after a sympathetic pause, “you’re much wider.”
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ONE-LINERS : SOME OF OUR FAVORITE VANITY PLATES
On a radiologist’s vehicle:
ICNCYDU (I see inside you)
On a conservative, no-nonsense judge’s Jaguar:
HANGMHI
On the car of an undertaker:
YURNEXT
On a classic Ford Mustang:
1DERFOAL
On a single man’s car:
CME4AD8
On the vehicle of a Hispanic who loves Bugs Bunny:
KPASAMD (Que pasa, MD — What’s up, Doc?)
On a brown Jeep Rover:
WUF WUF
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Officer Candidate School at Fort Sill, in Oklahoma, was really tough.
One day during an inspection, a fellow soldier received 30 demerits for a single penny found loose in his area.
10 demerits were given for “not securing valuables.”
10 demerits were given because the penny wasn’t shined.
10 demerits were given because Abraham Lincoln needed a shave.
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pic of the day: Silhouette of Praying Mantis
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“Do you remember first meeting your wife?”
“Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I’d never allow her near the gutter again.”
“Wow, I hope she appreciates what you did for her.”
“Not really. Jill hated to give up bowling.”
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In search of a new shower for our home, my wife and I went to a bathroom-supply store.
We discussed our needs with a young saleswoman. Since it was near closing time, we had to curtail our discussion and made plans to come back the next day to make our final decision.
Later that evening, my wife and I were at a restaurant, where the same young lady from the bathroom-supply store was now working a shift as a waitress.
As she passed our table, she suddenly recognized us and called to me in a loud voice, “HEY! You’re the man who needs a shower!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said “I’d like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please” so the barman took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill.
All this seemed pretty normal until the panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot at the waiter, but missed.
The barman came over and said “Wha.. wh.. You just tried shooting my friend!!!”
The panda calmly replied “Do you know what I am?”
“Why yes,” the barman answered. “You’re a panda.”
“Good,” the panda nodded “Now go home and look up ‘panda’ in the dictionary.” And with that, the panda walked out of the bar.
The barman was a little unsure, however he was very eager to be enlighted, so he went home to find his dictionary.
After a while, he found ‘panda’ and quickly read the definition:
PANDA:1. A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.
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A priest and pastor from the local parishes were standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that read, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!”
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. As the first driver sped past, he yelled, “Leave us alone…we don’t believe in that religious stuff!”
From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. One clergyman said to the other, “Do you think we should just put up a sign that says, ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”
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Farmer Josh killed a pig and hung it up for the night, intending to butcher it in the morning, but the next day it was gone.
He didn’t tell a soul about it, and nothing happened for more than two months.
Then another farmer, who lived down the road, came by and said, “By the way Josh, did you ever find out who stole your pig?”
“Nope,” said Josh. “Not until just now.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Oatmeal is best for breakfast!
Oatmeal is best for breakfast. It is the best way to start your day off right. Eating a bowl of this every morning could have benefits. The benefit is that it consists of both soluble and insoluble fiber. Soluble fiber’s has cancer- fighting properties while insoluble fibers are those that reduce LDL (bad cholesterol) without lowering HDL (good cholesterol). The latter also is good for those diabetics which slow down the digestion of starch. These two just differ on how they work on the body. The insoluble fiber-it makes stool heavier and speeds their passage through the guts, relieving constipation. Soluble fibers reduce the absorption of cholesterol in the bloodstream. Nutrients including vitamin E, zinc, selenium, copper, iron, manganese, magnesium, and even protein could also be found in oatmeal. Eat and enjoy the benefits of oatmeal!
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LIFE LESSON: Everything is material for the seed of happiness, if you look into it with inquisitiveness and curiosity. The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment. There always is the potential to create an environment of blame — or one that is conducive to loving-kindness. – Pema Chodron
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Insult of the Day: Folk clap when they see you…but they clap their hands over their eyes.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. – Francis Bacon
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