Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. – Wayne Dyer
FOR TODAY – DECEMBER 24th – FRIDAY
358th day of 2010 with 7 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*National Chocolate Day
*National Egg Nog Day
*H A P P Y CH R I S T M A S E V E !
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
- 1809 Christopher “Kit” Carson, Madison County, Kentucky, frontiersman, trapper, rancher
- 1818 James Prescott Joule, Salford, Lancashire, England, physicist (discovered conservation of energy)
- 1880 Johnny Gruelle, Arcola, Illinois, cartoonist, children’s book writer and creator of Raggedy Ann
- 1910 Fritz Leiber Jr, Chicago, Illinois, sci-fi author (Bazaar of the Bizarre, Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser stories)
- 1922 Ava Gardner Grabtown, North Carolina, actress (On the Beach, Night of the Iguana)
- 1924 [Irving] Lee Dorsey, New Orleans, Louisiana, singer (Working in the Coal Mine)
- 1929 Mary Higgins Clark, Bronx, New York, author (A Cry in the Night, Stillwatch, While My Pretty One Sleeps)
- 1945 Nicholas Meyer, New York City, New York, author (The Seven-Per-Cent Solution, Time After Time, Star Trek , The Day After )
- 1960 Glenn McQueen, Canadian/American, animator at PIXAR (A Bug’s Life, Toy Story 2, Monsters, Inc.)
- 1963 Mary Ramsey, American singer (10,000 Maniacs)
- 1964 Mark Valley, Ogdensburg, New York, actor (Boston Legal, Human Target )
- 1965 Millard Powers, Greensboro, North Carolina, musician, songwriter, record producer, grammy nominated recording engineer, and member of Counting Crows.
- 1966 Diedrich Bader, Alexandria, Virginia, actor (The Drew Carey Show, and voice portrayal of Batman on Batman: The Brave and the Bold )
- 1973 Stephenie Meyer, Hartford, Connecticut, author (Twilight series)
- 1978 Tonedeff, Queens, New York City, rapper (Will Rap For Food, SouthernUnderground, A Piece of Strange, Strange Journey Volume One )
- 1980 Tomas Kalnoky, Prague, Czechoslovakia, musician (Streetlight Manifesto)
- 1982 Robert Carmine, Los Angeles, California, singer (Lick the Star , The Virgin Suicides, The Princess Diaries)
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The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis. – Dalai Lama
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
- 1826 The Eggnog Riot at the United States Military Academy begins that night, wrapping up the following morning.
- 1851 Library of Congress burns.
- 1865 Several U.S. Civil War Confederate veterans form the Ku Klux Klan.
- 1893 Henry Ford completed his first useful gas motor.
- 1906 Reginald Fessenden transmits the first radio broadcast; consisting of a poetry reading, a violin solo, and a speech.
- 1912 Irving Fisher patented an archiving system with index cards.
- 1936 First radioactive isotope medicine administered, Berkeley CA, by John Lawrence (father of nuclear medicine), to a woman with chronic leukemia.
- 1943 World War II: U.S. General Dwight D. Eisenhower becomes the Supreme Allied Commander.
- 1955 NORAD Tracks Santa for the first time in what will become an annual Christmas Eve tradition.
- 1966 A Canadair CL-44 chartered by the United States military crashes into a small village in South Vietnam, killing 129.
- 1968 The crew of the USS Pueblo is released by North Korea after being held for 11 months on suspicion of spying.
- 1968 The crew of Apollo 8 enters into orbit around the Moon, becoming the first humans to do so. They performed 10 lunar orbits and broadcast live TV pictures that became the famous Christmas Eve Broadcast, one of the most watched programs in history.
- 1973 District of Columbia Home Rule Act is passed, allowing residents of Washington, D.C. to elect their own local government.
- 1979 The first European Ariane rocket is launched.
- 1997 The Dominican Republic becomes a member of the Berne Convention copyright treaty.
- 2000 The Texas 7 hold up a sports store in Irving, Texas. Police officer Aubrey Hawkins is murdered during the robbery.
- 2003 The Spanish police thwart an attempt by ETA to detonate 50 kg of explosives at 3:55 p.m. inside Madrid’s busy Chamartín Station.
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A man and his wife, now in their 60′s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple, she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline and cruise tickets in her hand.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger … Whoosh! Immediately he turned ninety.
Gotta love that fairy!!
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A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.”
The pastor shouted out, “Cross.” Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.”
The Pastor hollered out, “Grace.” The congregation began to sing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.”
The Pastor said, “Power.” The congregation sang, “There is Power in the Blood.”
The Pastor said, “Sex.” The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden way from in the back of the church a little old eighty-nine year old grandmother stood up and began to sing … “Precious Memories.”
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ONE-LINERS : You might be in the insurance industry if …
1. You have sat in the same desk for 4 years and worked for 3 different companies.
2. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
3. When someone asks what you do for a living, you lie.
4. You get really excited about a 2% pay rise.
5. Your biggest loss from a systems crash is that you lose your best jokes.
6. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
7. It’s dark on your drive to and from work.
8. Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
9. Communication is something your “group” is having problems with.
10. You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.
11. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
12. Art involves a white board.
13. All real work is done prior 9:00 AM and after 5:00 PM.
14. You’re already late on the assignment you just received.
15. Dilbert is your favorite cartoon.
16. Your boss’s favorite lines are …
“when you get a few minutes …”
“in your spare time …”
“when you’re freed-up …”
“I have an opportunity for you …”
17. More than 10% of the people in your company do not know what you do.
18. Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get every January.
19. Change is the norm.
20. Nepotism is encouraged.
21. You read this entire list and understand it.
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Three men, a German, a Japanese and a Texan were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped.
The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager, “he said, “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later a phone rang.
The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”
The Texan felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Texan finally said …
“Well, will you look at that. I’m getting a fax.”
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pic of the day: Merry Christmas
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In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?”
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, Dear?”
And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you how many they wish to buy. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy.
A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”
And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known as “eBay,” he said, “we need a name that reflects what we are,” and Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owners and Operators.”
“YAHOO!,” said Abraham.
And now you know the real story.
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A guy dies and is sent to Hades. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in garbage up to their necks.
The guy says, “no, let me see the next room.” In the second room, people are standing with garbage up to their noses. The guy says no again.
Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with garbage up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, “I pick this room.”
Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, “O.K., coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
~Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
~A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
~My local theater group was in trouble when Christopher, the lead actor, couldn’t make the premier performance of “The Hound of the Baskervilles”.
So as his understudy, I told the young lady director, “I’ll be Holmes for Chris, miss.”
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto camped in the desert, set up their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend.
“Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Tonto replies, “Me see millions of stars.
“What does that tell you?” ask The Lone Ranger.
Tonto ponders for a minute.
“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What it tell you, Kemo Sabe?”
The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks.
“Tonto, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.”
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On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.”
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give back the other ten.”
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.”
Monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.”
Man said, “What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: All About Eggnog
~ Captain John Smith reported that eggnog was consumed in 1607 in Jamestown, Virginia.
~’Nog’ is an English word for strong ale, and eggnog was originally made with ale.
~ For a serving of eggnog (one cup), there is about 342 calories. Of those calories, 167 are from fat.
~Yes, it has no sugar content but it has an enormous 34 grams of carbohydrates and 19 grams of fat.
~Salmonella could be possibly found in this kind of food! Since eggnog is made of raw eggs, it poses health risks such as salmonella. Consequently, only buy fresh eggs that have clean outer shell.
~A Gelatin can be found in some eggnog, though it is typically cream, milk, sugar, eggs, cinnamon and nutmeg. Cream is often used to give eggnog a thicker, frothier element.
~ It was in the 18th century when Eggnog was accepted in America.
~ It usually becomes available in stores around Thanksgiving.
~ In America it is typically combined with bourbon, and in Europe it is typically mixed with white wine.
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LIFE LESSON: When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way. – Wayne Dyer
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QUIP OF THE DAY: I have a super power. I can read my own thoughts.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. – Abraham Lincoln
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