“For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been’.” — John Greenleaf Whittier
FOR TODAY – JULY 20th – TUESDAY
201st day of 2010 with 164 to follow.
Holidays for Today:
*Chess Day
* National POW-MIA Recognition Day
* Moon Day
* Colombia Indepedence Day
* National Lollipop Day*
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1661 Pierre Le Moyne d’Iberville, French founder of the colony of Louisiana.
1919 Sir Edmund Hillary, New Zealand mountain climber (one of 1st two men to scale MT Everest)
1933 Cormac McCarthy, Providence RI, Southern Gothic, western & post-apocalyptic author (Blood Meridian, Border Trilogy, No Country for Old Men)
1938 Diana Rigg, England, actress (Emma Peel-Avengers, Hospital)
1938 Natalie Wood [Natasha Gurdin], SF, (Gypsy, Rebel Without a Cause)
1947 Carlos Santana, Mexico, musician (Santana-Black Magic Woman)
1947 Gerd Binnig, Frankfurt, physicist (tunneling microscope-Nobel 1986)
1964 Dean Winters, NYC, actor (Oz, Rescue Me, Law & Order)
1964 Terri Irwin, Eugene OR, naturalist, widow of Steve Irwin, Animal Planet television personality
1978 Charlie Korsmo, Fargo ND, actor (Dick Tracy, What About Bob, Hook)
1988 Julianne Hough, Provo Utah, ballroom dancer/ country singer (won 4th season of Dancing With the Stars/partner speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno
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Underpromise; overdeliver. – Tom Peters
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain
1871 British Columbia becomes 6th Canadian province.
1872 Mahlon Loomis receives patent for wireless … the radio is born.
1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, surrenders to federal troops at Fort Buford, North Dakota.
1903 Ford Motor Company shipped its first car.
1940 Billboard magazine publishes its first “Music Popularity Chart”; the first number one song is Frank Sinatra’s “I’ll Never Smile Again”.
1948 First peacetime military draft started by President Harry S. Truman in the US amid increasing tensions with the Soviet Union.
1960 Polaris missile successfully launched from submarine, the USS George Washington, for the first time.
1969 1st men on Moon, Neil Armstrong & Edwin Aldrin, Apollo 11 lands on the moon.
1976 US Viking 1 lands on Mars at Chryse Planitia, 1st Martian landing
1977 Flash flood hits Johnstown, PA, kills 80 & causing $350 million damage
1999 Project Mercury: Liberty Bell 7 is raised from the Atlantic Ocean.
2003 Rookie Ben Curtis, ranked 396th in the world, wins British Open, the first golfer to win a major golf tournament on his first try in more than ninety years.
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This old fisherman would go out in his boat every morning and come back about an hour later with a cooler filled with fish. The game warden got suspicious as to how the old guy always caught so many fish in such a short time. So he invited himself fishing with the old guy.
They went to the middle of the lake, the old guy pulls out a stick of dynamite and throws it overboard. Boom! Fish start floating to the surface and the old guy starts scooping them up in his net.
The game warden says, “You can’t do that. It’s illegal.”
The old guy quietly lights another stick of dynamite, hands it to the game warden and says, “You gonna talk or are you gonna fish?”
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An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”
“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”
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ONE-LINERS : An Old Farmer’s Advice
* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
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A successful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana.
After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse.
“Hold it neighbor” the man says, ” I’m your neighbor, I have a ranch only six miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I’m throwing for you next Saturday. There’s going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting…. We’ll have a great time”.
Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and ask’s ” How should I dress?”
” Aw, don’t matter” replied the neighbor, ” Only gonna be the two of us”.
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pic of the day: Shavers Fork of the Cheat River in WV
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Doctor: “It’s no good. I can’t find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking.”
Patient: “I’ll come back when you’re sober then!”
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Two explorers, camped in the heart of the African jungle, were discussing their expedition. “I came here,” said one, “because the urge to travel was in my blood. City life bored me, and the smell of exhaust fumes on the highways made me sick. I wanted to see the sunrise over new horizons and hear the flutter of birds that never had been seen by man. I wanted to leave my footprints on sand unmarked before I came. In short, I wanted to see nature in the raw. What about you?”
“I came,” the second man replied, “because my son was taking saxophone lessons.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to ‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so…
thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
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A red neck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The red neck is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back and says, “This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down one tree and it took all the gosh-darned day!”
The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the red neck asks, “What’s that noise?
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Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!”
Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!”
“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!” says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” Says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”
The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Where is Nature’s totem?
Nature’s totem, the awe-inspiring, 325-foot spire of Chimney Rock in Nebraska, informed Pony Express riders and frontiersmen they had crossed the American plains and that mountains lay ahead.
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LIFE LESSON: “A champion is someone who gets up when he can’t.” — Jack Dempsey
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Insult of the Day: He’s like a Christmas tie — loud and useless.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
THE LAST WORD: The easiest thing in the world to be is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position. – Leo Buscaglia
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