July 10, 2014

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. – Henry Ford

TODAY – JULY 10th – THURSDAY

191st day of 2014 with 174 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Clerihew Day

*National Piña Colada Day

*Teddy Bear Picnic Day

*Don’t Step on a Bee Day

*Statehood Day (Wyoming)

*Nikola Tesla Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1564 John Calvin, French theologian and pastor during Protestant Reformation (Calvinism)
  • 1682 Roger Cotes, Leicestershire, England, mathematician (invented the quadrature formulas known as Newton–Cotes formulas and first introduced what is known today as Euler’s formula)
  • 1832 Alvin Graham Clark, Fall River, Massachusetts, astronomer & telescope-maker (first observation of Sirius B)
  • 1839 Adolphus Busch, German-born co-founder of Anheuser-Busch
  • 1856 Nikola Tesla, Serb-American inventor (best known for developing the modern alternating current (AC) electrical supply system)
  • 1902 Kurt Alder, German chemist (Nobel / Diels-Alder reaction)
  • 1917 Reg Smythe, British cartoonist (Andy Capp comic strip)
  • 1920 David Brinkley, Wilmington, North Carolina, newscaster (1943-1997), author (Washington Goes To War)
  • 1920 Owen Chamberlain, San Francisco, California, physicist (Nobel / sub-atomic antiparticle)
  • 1921 Harvey Ball, Worcester, Massachusetts, inventor (earliest known designer of the smiley, which became an enduring and notable international icon)
  • 1922 Jean Kerr, Scranton, Pennsylvania, author (Please Don’t Eat the Daisies)
  • 1926 Fred Gwynne, NYC, New York, actor (Car 54 Where Are You?, The Munsters, Pet Sematary, My Cousin Vinny)
  • 1934 Jerry Nelson, Tulsa, Oklahoma, puppeteer (Muppets: Sherlock Hemlock, Amazing Mumford, Count von Count)
  • 1943 Arthur Ashe, Richmond, Virginia, tennis player (won 3 Grand Slam titles)
  • 1945 Ron Glass, Evansville, Indiana, actor (Det. Ron Harris in Barney Miller, Shepherd Derrial Book in Firefly & Serenity)
  • 1960 Jeff Bergman, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, voice actor (modern day voices of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, George Jetson, Fred Flintstome, Yogi Bear & Huckleberry Hound)
  • 1968 Jonathan Gilbert, California, actor (Little House on the Prairie)
  • 1969 Alexandra Hedison, Los Angeles, actress (The L Word )
  • 1970 Gary LeVox, AColumbus, Ohio, singer (Rascal Flatts)
  • 1976 Adrian Grenier, Santa Fe, New Mexico, actor (Entourage )
  • 1980 Thomas Ian Nicholas, Las Vegas, Nevada, actor (American Pie film series )

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We become what we think about. – Earl Nightingale

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1821 The United States takes possession of its newly bought territory of Florida from Spain.
  • 1832 U.S. President Andrew Jackson vetoes a bill that would re-charter the Second Bank of the United States.
  • 1850 Millard Fillmore is inaugurated as the 13th President of the United States upon the death of President Zachary Taylor, 16 months into his term.
  • 1890 Wyoming is admitted as the 44th U.S. state.
  • 1938 Howard Hughes sets a new record by completing a 91 hour airplane flight around the world.
  • 1940 World War II: the Vichy government is established in France.
  • 1962 Telstar, the world’s first communications satellite, is launched into orbit.
  • 1966 The Chicago Freedom Movement, led by Martin Luther King, Jr., holds a rally at Soldier Field in Chicago, Illinois. As many as 60,000 people came to hear Dr. King as well as Mahalia Jackson, Stevie Wonder, and Peter Paul and Mary.
  • 1967 Uruguay becomes a member of the Berne Convention copyright treaty.
  • 1978 World News Tonight premieres on ABC.
  • 1980 Alexandra Palace burns down for a second time.
  • 1998 Roman Catholic sex abuse cases: The Diocese of Dallas agrees to pay $23.4 million to nine former altar boys who claimed they were sexually abused by former priest Rudolph Kos.
  • 2000 A leaking southern Nigerian petroleum pipeline explodes, killing about 250 villagers scavenging gasoline.
  • 2000 EADS, the world’s second-largest aerospace group is formed by the merger of Aérospatiale-Matra, DASA, and CASA.
  • 2002 At a Sotheby’s auction, Peter Paul Rubens’ painting The Massacre of the Innocents is sold for £49.5million (US$76.2 million) to Lord Thomson.
  • 2003 A Neoplan bus, owned by Kowloon Motor Bus, collides with a truck, falls off a bridge on Tuen Mun Road, Hong Kong, and plunges into the underlying valley, killing 21 people. This is the deadliest traffic accident to date in Hong Kong.

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I found a letter lying on my doormat. On the envelope it said in big letters, “DO NOT BEND”.
I spent two hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

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I read aloud to my high school Bible Study class: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.”

“Okay,” I said, “from this Scripture, what do we learn is important in marriage?”

A student blurted out, “Cleavage!”

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As the congregation filed out of the church, one parishioner Said to the pastor, “Today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God.”

The pastor replied, “Why … nobody has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Please tell me why.”

“Because it endured forever.”

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ONE-LINERS: REFLECTIONS ON AGING

~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

~ Long ago when old men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

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Three absent-minded professors were talking together in a bus terminal. They got so engrossed in their onversation that they didn’t notice the bus had pulled in.

As the driver sang out, “All aboard,” they looked up startled and dashed from the platform. Two of them managed to hop on the bus, but the third didn’t make it.

As he stood sadly watching the bus disappear into the distance, a stranger tried to cheer him up, saying, “You shouldn’t feel too bad. Two out of three made it, and that’s a pretty good average.”

The professor shook his head. “You don’t understand. THEY came to see ME off.”

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pic of the day: 3 Guineas & Sunshine

Guineas on hillside
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ In 1911, The first ice cream cone was shown at a press party. Newsmen got a big scoop.
~ Aug. 10, 1913, The first rodeo was held, and cowboys got a few bucks out of it.
~ In 1920, The patent for malted milk was sold for $100. The buyer got a fair shake.
~ In 1932, The first diet club was formed, but it was a losing proposition.
~ In 1949, Calculators were first used. They were so successful they began to multiply.
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A group of surgeons talking: “I always like to see accountants on my operating Table. When you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

“Electricians are even better. Everything inside them is color coded.”

“No, I really think librarians are the best; everything’s in alphabetical order.”

“You know, construction workers always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

“You’re all wrong. Lawyers are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no brains and no spine — and the head and the behind are interchangeable.”

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YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN…
~ Your potted plants stay alive.
~ 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
~ You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
~ You carry an umbrella.
~ You watch the Weather Channel.
~ Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
~ You’re the one calling the police because those kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.
~ You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
~ Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
~ Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
~ You no longer take naps from noon to 6:00 p.m.
~ You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
~ Grocery lists have more on them than macaroni & cheese, Diet Pepsi, and Ho-Ho’s.
~ Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
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Q. When do you go on red and stop on green?
A. When you’re eating a watermelon.

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Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess’s lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”

That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. – Ann Landers

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