July 25, 2014

The best revenge is massive success. – Frank Sinatra

TODAY – JULY 25th – FRIDAY

206th day of 2014 with 159 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Culinarians Day

*Threading the Needle Day

*National Hot Fudge Sundae Day

*Act Like A Caveman Day

TOMORROW’S HOLIDAYS INCLUDE. . . All or Nothing Day, Aunt and Uncle Day, National Coffee Milkshake Day &
Tenth Annual National Day of the Cowboy
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1844 Thomas Eakins, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, artist, painter, photographer (Realism movement/ photography innovator)
  • 1867 Alexander Rummler, Dubuque, Iowa, painter (signing of WWI armstice painting)
  • 1894 Walter Brennan, Swampscott, Massachusetts, actor (Real McCoys, At Gun Point)
  • 1918 Jane Frank, Baltimore, Maryland, painter, sculptor, textile & mixed media artist
  • 1920 Rosalind Franklin, Notting Hill, London, English scientist, made critical contributions to the understanding of the fine molecular structures of DNA, RNA, viruses, coal and graphite
  • 1923 Estelle Getty, New York City, New York, actress (Sophia Petrillo-Golden Girls)
  • 1935 Barbara Harris, Evanston, Illinois, actress (A Thousand Clowns, Plaza Suite, Nashville, Family Plot, Freaky Friday, Peggy Sue Got Married, and Grosse Pointe Blank )
  • 1937 Colin Renfrew, English archeologist (radiocarbon revolution, prehistory of languages, archaeogenetics, & looting prevention of archaeological sites)
  • 1951 Verdine White, Chicago, Illinois, musician (Earth, Wind & Fire)
  • 1954 Walter Payton, Columbia, Mississippi, NFL running back (Chicago Bears), advocate for organ donations
  • 1967 Matt LeBlanc, Newton, Massachusetts, actor (Friends , Joey )
  • 1967 Wendy Raquel Robinson, Los Angeles, California, actress (The Steve Harvey Show, The Game )
  • 1973 Michael C. Williams, The Bronx, New York, actor (The Blair Witch Project )
  • 1978 Louise Brown, Oldham, England, world’s 1st `test tube baby’
  • 1979 Amy Adams, Kansas City, Kansas, singer (Dancing in the Street)
  • 1982 Brad Renfro, Knoxville, Tennessee, actor (The Client, The Jacket)
  • 1987 Michael Welch, Los Angeles, California, actor (Joan of Arcadia, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse )

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“Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.” – Will Rogers

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1722 Dummer’s War begins along the Maine-Massachusetts border.
  • 1755 British governor Charles Lawrence and the Nova Scotia Council order the deportation of the Acadians. Thousands of Acadians are sent to the British Colonies in America, France and England. Some later move to Louisiana, while others resettle in New Brunswick.
  • 1795 The first stone of the Pontcysyllte Aqueduct is laid.
  • 1837 The first commercial use of an electric telegraph is successfully demonstrated by William Cooke and Charles Wheatstone on 25 July 1837 between Euston and Camden Town in London.
  • 1853 Joaquin Murietta, the famous Californio bandit known as “Robin Hood of El Dorado”, is killed.
  • 1866 The United States Congress passes legislation authorizing the five-star rank of General of the Army. Lieutenant General Ulysses S. Grant becomes the first to be promoted to this rank.
  • 1868 Wyoming becomes a United States territory.
  • 1871 First U.S. patent for a carousel was issued to Willhelm Schneider of Davenport, Iowa.
  • 1898 The United States invasion of Puerto Rico begins with U.S. troops led by General Nelson Miles landing at harbor of Guánica, Puerto Rico (The land invasion, proper, began that day: Sea-based bombardment and shelling of the capital city of San Juan had been occurring since May 1898).
  • 1908 Ajinomoto is founded. Kikunae Ikeda of the Tokyo Imperial University discovers that a key ingredient in Konbu soup stock is monosodium glutamate (MSG), and patents a process for manufacturing it.
  • 1920 The first transatlantic two-way radio broadcast takes place.
  • 1946 At Club 500 in Atlantic City, New Jersey, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis stage their first show as a comedy team.
  • 1952 The U.S. non-incorporated colonial territory of Puerto Rico adopts a “constitution” of local-limited powers, approved by the United States Congress in contravention of then-current international law.
  • 1976 Viking 1 takes the famous Face on Mars photo.
  • 1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya (sah-VEETS’-kah-yah) became the first woman to walk in space
  • 2007 Pratibha Patil is sworn in as India’s first woman president.
  • 2010 WikiLeaks publishes classified documents about the War in Afghanistan, one of the largest leaks in U.S. military history.

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A man from Poland goes to the optometrist. The doc shows him a chart:

C Z W X N Q S T A C Z

“Can you read this?” the optometrist asks.

The Pole replies, “Read it? I know the guy!”

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A feisty 70-year-old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor.

“Labor charges!” she exclaimed. “It only took you five minutes.”

The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call.

“Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor,” the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.

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ONE-LINERS: Thoughts to Ponder . . .
~ It’s so cold this morning…I opened my Outlook and had frost on my Windows.
~ What kind of cruel, demented person put an “s” in lisp?
~ Just because I have a short attention span doesn’t mean I
~ Zen Crafters: Total enlightenment in about an hour!
~ I am having an out of money experience.
~ If the truly wise stay quiet and only listen, then aren’t the people who are talking stupid?
~ Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
~ “I am!” I said. Said I, “Am I?”
~ If I melted dry ice, could I swim in it and not get wet?
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I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. “Sorry,” I replied, “but I’ve been incapacitated.”

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, “I’m incapacitated. Do you know what that means?”

She hesitated. “It means your head was cut off?”

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For Fans of Frozen, Olaf chills out with a (root) beer

.pic of Olaf the snowman with beer
Photographer: Richard Boggs
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ I once saw a tribal chief eat an entire Websters dictionary. We gave him castor oil for a week but never got a word out of him.
~ So there I was, just shootin’ the breeze, when some cops tackled me and threw me in jail. They told me it was illegal to discharge firearms in congested urban areas, no matter how windy it is.
~ When a guillotine executioner is laid off does he get severance?
~ Gross Negligence: 144 times worse than ordinary negligence
~ Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane? A: A Boeing Constrictor.

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A young man noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the supermarket parking lot. To be courteous, he
insisted on pushing it for her as she struggled alongside, doing her best to keep up.

At the store entrance, he said, “Here you go, Ma’am,” and gave her the cart.

Catching her breath, she said, “Thank you, but I was using it to lean on.”

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The doctor was known for miraculous arthritis cures and as you might imagine, his waiting room was full of people. A little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came, she went into the doctor’s office and emerged a short time later walking completely erect with her head held high.

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, “It’s a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you’re walking erect!”

The little old lady said, “Miracle, shmiracle, he gave me a longer cane.”
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When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. “Is that your grandmother?” I asked.

“Yes,” Chris said. “She’s come to visit us for Christmas.”

“How nice,” I said. “Where does she live?”

“At the airport,” Chris replied. “Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: “A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” – Robert Benchley

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. – Mark Twain

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