June 10, 2104

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. – Napoleon Hill

TODAY – JUNE 10th – TUESDAY

161st day of 2014 with 204 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Black Cow Day

*National Iced Tea Day

*Mourn for Your Money Day (commemorates the signing of the withholding tax bill into law on June 10th, 1943)

* Herbs & Spices Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1706 John Dollond, English optician, discovered of achromatic doublets (owner of 1st patent for achromatic lens)
  • 1710 James Short, Scottish mathematician/ optician/ astronomer (parabolic & elliptic mirrors for reflecting telescopes)
  • 1735 John Morgan, immigrant from Wales, pioneer of U.S. medical education (founder of United State’s first medical school, the University of Philadelphia), surgeon general of Continental armies during War of Independence
  • 1892 Hattie McDaniel, Wichita, Kansas, actress (1st black to win Oscar /Gone With The Wind)
  • 1911 Ralph Kirkpatrick, Leominster, Massachusetts, harpsichordist and musicologist (chronological catalog of Domenico Scarlatti’s keyboard sonatas)
  • 1915 Saul Bellow, Canadian-born American author (Nobel/ Humboldt’s Gift; The Bellarosa Connection, The Actual)
  • 1921 Philip Mountbatten, Greece, Duke of Edinburgh/Prince, consort of Queen Elizabeth II
  • 1922 Judy Garland [Frances Gumm], Grand Rapids, Minnesota, actress/singer (Wizard of Oz, A Star is Born)
  • 1928 Maurice Sendak, NYC, New York, author/illustrator (Where The Wild Things Are)
  • 1929 E. O. Wilson, Birmingham, Alabama, biologist (father of sociobiology & biodiversity) and author (The Social Conquest of Earth, Letters to a Young Scientist)
  • 1929 James McDivitt, Chicago, Illinois, astronaut (Gemini 4, Apollo 9)
  • 1941 Mickey Jones, Houston, Texas, drummer (The First Edition w/Kenny Rogers) and actor (Flo, National Lampoon’s Vacation, V, Home Improvement, Tin Cup)
  • 1962 Gina Gershon, Los Angeles, California, actress and singer (Showgirls, The Insider, Killer Joe, Rescue Me, How to make It in America)
  • 1963 Jeanne Tripplehorn, Tulsa, Oklahoma, actress (Basic Instinct, Waterworld, The Firm, Criminal Minds)
  • 1964 Kate Flannery, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actress (Meredith Palmer/The Office, Cooties)
  • 1978 Shane West, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, actor (Once And Again, A Walk to Remember, ER, Nikita, Salem)
  • 1982 Tara Lipinski, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, figure skater (1997 World Champion, two-time Champions Series Final Champion (1997–1998) and 1997 U.S. Champion)

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Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1898 Spanish-American War: US Marines land on the island of Cuba.
  • 1902 Patent for window envelope granted to H.F. Callahan.
  • 1905 1st forest fire lookout tower placed in operation, Greenville, Maine.
  • 1935 Dr Robert Smith & William Wilson of Akron form Alcoholics Anonymous.
  • 1943 Ball point pen patented by Laslo Biro, who invented the pen with quick-drying ink.
  • 1952 Mylar, an extraordinarily strong polyester film, registered as a DuPont tradmark. This film used for magnetic audio and video tape, food wrap, balloons, instrument manufacturers of high-quality drumheads and more.
  • 1967 Israel, Syria, Jordan, Iraq & Egypt end “6-Day War” with UN help.
  • 1977 Apple Computer ships its first Apple II personal computer.
  • 1985 Coca Cola announces they’d bring back their 99-year-old formula.
  • 2003 Spirit Rover is launched, beginning NASA’s Mars Exploration Rover mission.

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A woman called to make reservations “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer.

After some searching, the agent came back with “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.”

The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered.

“You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”

“That’s it! I knew it was a big animal” was the reply.

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A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life.

‘It’s pretty good Pa. The food’s not bad, the work’s easy, but best of all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning.’

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ONE-LINERS: Life’s Crazy Rules. . .
* Lerman’s Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.
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Q: How many mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?

Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs even though they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the stupid light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY???

BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS …

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pic of the day: Boer Goats

boer goats image
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he’s on a beach. The sand is purple. He can’t believe it. The sky is purple. He walks around a bit and sees that there is purple grass, purple birds and purple fruit on the purple trees. He’s shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn purple too.

“Oh no!” he says. “I think I’ve been marooned!”

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.

“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.”

The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who the heck are you?”

“Moses,” replied the bird.

“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?”

The bird promptly answered, “Probably the same kind of people that Would name a 140 pound Rottweiler Jesus.”

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A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.

The employer read all his applications and said, “We have an opening for people like you.”

“Oh, great,” he said, “What is it?”

“It’s called the door!”

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Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before the morning break, Pat yelled “Mick, I’ve lost a finger!”

Mick said. “How did you do it?”

Pat replied “I just touched this big, shiny spinning thing here like this… ouch! There goes another one!”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: You’re nobody’s fool! (But maybe somebody will adopt you.)

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
The world has enough beautiful mountains and meadows, spectacular skies and serene lakes. It has enough lush forests, flowered fields and sandy beaches. It has plenty of stars and the promise of a new sunrise and sunset every day. What the world needs more of is people to appreciate and enjoy it. – Michael Josephson

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