June 12, 2014

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. – Thornton Wilder

TODAY – JUNE 12th – THURSDAY

163rd day of 2014 with 202 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Red Rose Day

*National Peanut Butter Cookie Day

*International Cachaça Day (Brazil’s most famous liquor)

*World Day Against Child Labour

*Loving Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1851 Sir Oliver Lodge, Penkhull, Staffordshire, English physicist and writer (involved in the development of key patents in wireless telegraphy)
  • 1899 Fritz Albert Lipmann, Königsberg, Germany, American biochemist (Nobel / co-discoverer in 1945 of coenzyme A)
  • 1920 Dave Berg, Brooklyn, New York, cartoonist (Mad magazine)
  • 1924 George H. W. Bush, Milton, Massachusetts, politician, 11th Director of Central Intelligence, 40th Vice President of the United States and 41st President of the United States
  • 1928 Vic Damone, Brooklyn, New York, singer and songwriter
  • 1929 Anne Frank, German-born Dutch Jewish diarist and Holocaust victim
  • 1930 Jim Nabors, Sylacauga, Alabama, actor / singer (Gomer Pyle on The Andy Griffith Show, Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.)
  • 1937 Vladimir Arnold, Russian mathematician (Kolmogorov–Arnold–Moser theorem regarding the stability of integrable Hamiltonian systems, he made important contributions in several areas including dynamical systems theory, catastrophe theory, topology, algebraic geometry, classical mechanics and singularity theory)
  • 1942 Bert Sakmann, German physiologist (Nobel / function of single ion channels in cells)
  • 1949 Roger Aaron Brown, Washington, D.C., actor (The District, Star Trek Motion Picture, Cobra, RoboCop 2)
  • 1950 Sonia Manzano,  Linwood, New Jersey,  actress and singer (Maria on Sesame Street)
  • 1953 David Thornton, Cheraw, South Carolina, actor (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, The Notebook, Alpha Dog, Zenith, Trophy Kids, Transfer at Aachen)
  • 1953 Tess Gerritsen, San Diego, California, physician and author (Keeper of the Bride, The Bone Garden, Girl Missing, Last to Die, Die Again)
  • 1958 Rebecca Holden, Dallas,Texas, actor (April Curtis on Knight Rider; General Hospital, Lycanthrope, From Venus)
  • 1963 Tim DeKay, Ithaca, New York, actor (The Ring, Party of Five, Carnivale, Tell Me You Love Me, White Collar)
  • 1964 Paula Marshall, Rockville, Maryland, actress (Wild Oats, Chicago Sons, Cupid, Snoops, Hidden Hills, Out of Practice, Nip/Tuck, Californication, Gary Unmarried)
  • 1970 Rick Hoffman, New York City, New York, actor (Jake in Progress, Suits, Hostel, Samantha Who?)
  • 1974 Jason Mewes, Highlands, New Jersey, actor (Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob, Todd and the Book of Pure Evil)
  • 1985 Blake Ross, Miami, Florida, software developer, known for his work on the Mozilla web browser

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Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being. – Kevin Kruse

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1864 Ulysses S. Grant gives the Confederate forces under Robert E. Lee a victory when he pulls his Union troops from their positions at Cold Harbor, Virginia and moves south.
  • 1939 The Baseball Hall of Fame opens in Cooperstown, New York.
  • 1942 Holocaust: Anne Frank receives a diary for her thirteenth birthday.
  • 1967 The United States Supreme Court in Loving v. Virginia declares all U.S. state laws which prohibit interracial marriage to be unconstitutional.
  • 1967 Venera program: Venera 4 is launched (it will become the first space probe to enter another planet’s atmosphere and successfully return data).
  • 1978 David Berkowitz, the “Son of Sam” killer in New York City, is sentenced to 365 years in prison for six killings.
  • 1979 Bryan Allen wins the second Kremer prize for a man powered flight across the English Channel in the Gossamer Albatross.
  • 1994 Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman are murdered outside her home in Los Angeles, California. O.J. Simpson is later acquitted of the killings, but is held liable in wrongful death civil suit.
  • 1994 The Boeing 777, the world’s largest twinjet, makes its first flight.
  • 1997 Queen Elizabeth II reopens the Globe Theatre in London.
  • 1999 Kosovo War: Operation Joint Guardian begins when a NATO-led United Nations peacekeeping force (KFor) enters the province of Kosovo in Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.

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Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn’t stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

After the doctor listened to the father all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby’s ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.

“Here’s the problem,” the doctor said. “He needs a change.”

The father was very perplexed, “But the diaper package says it’s good for up to 10 pounds!”

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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.”

The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, “That’s interesting. How do you make babies?”

“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

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ONE-LINERS: Random Thoughts. . .

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

The chance that you’ll forget something is directly proportional to…..to….ah…..

If the early bird gets the worm, look what happens to the early worm.

Honk if you like peace and quiet!

Two can live as cheaply as one — for half as long.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

How do you spell PTSD?

Why should I waste time learning from my past when I am busy worrying about my future?

A Democrat is a person who sees a glass partially filled and says, “This glass is half full!” A Republican is a person who sees the same glass and says, “Hey! Who’s been drinking my water?”

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A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, ‘Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?’

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, ‘It’s my dog. Why?’

‘Well,’ squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, ‘I believe my dog just killed it, sir.’

‘What?’ roared the big man in disbelief. ‘What kind of dog do you have that could manage that?’

‘Sir,’ answered the little man, ‘It’s a four week old puppy.’

‘Bull!’ roared the biker, ‘How could your puppy kill my Doberman?’

‘It appears that he choked on it, sir.’

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pic of the day: Red Roses

image of red roses
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

~ I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

~ She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

~ A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

~ No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

~ A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

~ A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

~ Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

~ A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

~ Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

~ Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

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When my printer’s type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job myself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?”

“Actually it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first.”

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A wife asks her husband, “Please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had avocados.”

If you’re a woman, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again. Men will get it the first time.

My work is done here.

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An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the sky.

One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him. “Can’t you do something?” she demanded angrily.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” the reverend said gently, “I’m in sales, not management.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: The new Tom Cruise movie opens today. It’s called “Edge of Tomorrow.” Tom Cruise is an intergalactic warrior fighting to save our planet from aliens. I have no idea who he plays in the movie. – Craig Ferguson

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

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