June 18, 2014

A man is insensible to the relish of prosperity ’til he has tasted adversity. – Sa’di

TODAY – JUNE 18th – WEDNESDAY

169th day of 2014 with 196 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Go Fishing Day

*National Splurge Day

*International Panic Day

*National Cherry Tart Day

*International Picnic Day

*International Autistic Pride Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1914 E.G. Marshall, Owatonna, Minnesota, actor (The Defenders, The Bold Ones: The New Doctors, 12 Angry Men, Superman II, War and Remembrance)
  • 1915 Red Adair, Houston, Texas, oil well firefighter (Hellfighters movie based on Adair, History Channel’s Modern Marvels episode on “Oil Well Firefighting”)
  • 1917 Richard Boone, Los Angeles, California, actor (Have Gun – Will Travel, Medic, The Alamo, Big Jake, The Hobbit (1977) voice of Smaug)
  • 1918 Jerome Karle, New York City, NY, chemist (Nobel / direct analysis of crystal structures using X-ray scattering techniques)
  • 1928 David T. Lykken, Minneapolis, Minnesota, scientist (best known for his work on twin studies and lie detection)
  • 1932 Dudley R. Herschbach, San Jose, California, chemist (Nobel / dynamics of chemical elementary processes)
  • 1937 Jay Rockefeller, NYC, New York, U.S. Senator from West Virginia (Governor WV 1977-1985)
  • 1942 Paul McCartney, Liverpool, England, singer, songwriter and musician (The Beatles, Wings)
  • 1942 Roger Ebert, Urbana, Illinois, journalist, critic, and screenwriter
  • 1952 Carol Kane, Cleveland, Ohio,  actress, director, and screenwriter (Hester Street, Taxi, Wicked)
  • 1956 Brian Benben, Winchester, Virginia, actor (Dream On, Private Practice)
  • 1957 Andrea Evans, Aurora, Illinois, actress (One Life to Live, The Bold & The Beautiful, Passions)
  • 1957 Richard Powers, Evanston, Illinois, author (The Echo Maker, Generosity, Orfeo)
  • 1961 Angela Johnson, Tuskegee, Alabama, author and poet (Tell Me a Story, Mama; The First Part Last, Certain October, Lottie Paris and the Best Place)
  • 1965 Kim Dickens, Huntsville, Alabama, actress (Hollow Man, Deadwood, Treme)
  • 1970 Robin Christopher, Revere, Massachusetts, actress (All My Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital)
  • 1976 Alana de la Garza, Columbus, Ohio, actress (Law & Order, Do No Harm, Forever)
  • 1976 Blake Shelton, Ada, Oklahoma, country singer
  • 1980 David Giuntoli, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, actor (Privileged, Grimm)
  • 1991 Willa Holland, Los Angeles, California, actress (The O.C., Gossip Girl, Arrow, Tiger Eyes)

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“You know, everybody’s ignorant, just on different subjects.” – Will Rogers

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1178 Five Canterbury monks see what is possibly the Giordano Bruno crater being formed. It is believed that the current oscillations of the Moon’s distance from the Earth (on the order of meters) are a result of this collision.
  • 1778 British troops abandon Philadelphia, Pennsylvania during American Revolutionary War.
  • 1812 The U.S. Congress declares war on the United Kingdom (War of 1812).
  • 1858 Charles Darwin receives a paper from Alfred Russel Wallace that includes nearly identical conclusions about evolution as Darwin’s own, prompting Darwin to publish his theory.
  • 1859 First ascent of Aletschhorn, second summit of the Bernese Alps.
  • 1873 Susan B. Anthony is fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election.
  • 1923 Checker Taxi puts its first taxi on the streets.
  • 1940 “Finest Hour” speech by Winston Churchill.
  • 1945 William Joyce (Lord Haw-Haw) is charged with treason for his pro-German propaganda broadcasting during World War II.
  • 1953 A United States Air Force C-124 crashes and burns near Tokyo, Japan killing 129.
  • 1979 SALT II is signed by the United States and the Soviet Union.
  • 1983 Astronaut Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space on STS-7, part of the Space Shuttle program.
  • 1994 The Troubles: the Ulster Volunteer Force (UVF) open fire inside a pub in Loughinisland, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom, killing six civilians and wounding five.
  • 1996 Ted Kaczynski, suspected of being the Unabomber, is indicted on ten criminal counts.
  • 2009 The Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO), a NASA robotic spacecraft is launched.

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A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. A bright light approaches her and as she the light gets brighter, she sees God and wonders if, “This is it…”
God, omnipotent as he is, reads her mind and definitely says: “No. This is not it.” He goes on to explain that she has another 30 to 40 years to live. ”
The bright light fades away and the woman begins to awake. After her complete recovery, the woman decides to stay in the hospital and get a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in to change her hair color. She figures since she’s got another 30 to 40 years she might as well make the most of it.
After the last operation, she walks out of the hospital and right in the parking lot, she’s killed by an ambulance speeding up to the emergency room!
She approaches the white light again and finally arrives before God. She asks, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?” To which God replied:
“Sally? Is that you? Oh, dear. Sorry, I didn’t recognize you.”

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When I was visiting a friend who lived on the edge of a wilderness preserve, we drove along a rutted trail, and we saw a small creek ahead whose bridge was under water.

“We have a serious beaver problem,” our friend said. “They build dams that cause the creek to flood. Forest rangers take down the dams, and the beavers rebuild them.”

As we got closer, we could see a large scoreboard posted by the bridge.

It read: BEAVERS 3 RANGERS 0

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ONE-LINERS: Random Thoughts. . .
~ It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
~ I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
~ Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
~ Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils.
~ On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger near the escape key.
~ I never, ever make sweeping generalizations.
~ Prayer: “Oh Lord, give me patience, but give it to me RIGHT NOW!”
~ Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
~ I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
~ I washed a sock. Then I put it in a dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
~ Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second. Steven Wright
~ Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
~ Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that’s where you wish they were.
~ Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the problem.

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A normally sweet Great Dane dog Jill has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers.

While walking Jill one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.

Struggling to keep hold of Jill, the owner tried to ease the situation and said, “As you can see, she just loves UPS men.”

“Don’t you feed her anything else?” he responded.

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pic of the day: Clematis


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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
In the boundless ocean, a father drop of water and a mother drop of water teach their young offspring how to be a responsible part of the sea.

After many months of intensive training, the father drop of water observes his son’s performance with atisfaction and announces, “Junior is fit to be tide.”

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Husband to wife: “Honey, what’s our wi-fi password?”
“It’s our anniversary date.”
.. husband sits there for a long time… unable to get wi-fi….
“She did this on purpose.”

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Three elderly men are walking through the park.

The first says, “It sure is windy.”

The second responds, “No it isn’t, it’s Thursday.”

The third says, “I am too. Let’s get something to drink.”

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YOU MIGHT BE A COLLEGE STUDENT IF…

..you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen.

..you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

..you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.

..you have ever seen two consecutive sunrises without sleeping.

..your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.

..you can pack your worldly possessions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).

..you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes.

..you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.

..your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.

..you go to Target/Walmart more than 3 times a week.

..you eat at the cafeteria because it’s “free, even though it sucks.”

..you wake up 10 minutes before class.

..you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row — without washing them.

..your social life consists of a date with the library.

..your idea of “doing your hair” is putting on a baseball cap.

..it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room.

..you carry less than a dollar on you at all times because that’s all you have.

..you haven’t done laundry in so long you are wearing your swimsuit to class.

..your midnight snack is microwave popcorn.

..you celebrate when you find a quarter.

..your backpack is giving you Scoliosis.

..you get more sleep in class than in your room.

..your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen Noodles.

..you can sleep through your roommate’s blaring stereo.

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Whatever it is!

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Vacation: A time when parents realize that teachers aren’t paid enough.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
“Never forget that life can only be noble inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.” – Annie Besant

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