June 24, 2014

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. – Chinese Proverb

TODAY – JUNE 24th – TUESDAY

175th day of 2014 with 190 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Midsummer Day

*Swim A Lap Day

*National Pralines Day

*Celebration of the Senses (a day to remind yourself of your body’s amazing sensory abilities)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1803 George J. Webb, English church organist. Compiled collections of sacred music; composed melody to hymn, ‘Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus.’
  • 1813 Henry Ward Beecher, Litchfield, Connecticut, clergyman/orator (Independent)
  • 1842 Ambrose Bierce, Meigs County, Ohio, satirist (Devil’s Dictionary)
  • 1893 Roy O. Disney, Chicago, Illinois, businessman (co-founded The Walt Disney Company)
  • 1895 Jack Dempsey, Manassa, Colorado, heavyweight boxer (held title 1919-1926)
  • 1912 Mary Wesley, English author (The Camomiles Lawn, The Sixth Seal, Harnessing Peacocks, The Vacillations of Poppy Carew)
  • 1915 Norman Cousins, Union City, New Jersey, editor (Saturday Review)
  • 1915 Fred Hoyle, British astronomer (stellar nucleosynthesis) / sci-fi author (A is for Andromeda, Into Deepest Space, Element 79)
  • 1919 Al Molinaro, Kenosha, Wisconsin, actor (Murray-Odd Couple, Al-Happy Days)
  • 1927 Martin Lewis Perl, New York City, New York, physicist(Nobel 1995/ discovery of tau lepton)
  • 1938 Lawrence Block, Buffalo, New York, crime author (2 series: P.I. Matthew Scudder; gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr)
  • 1946 Ellison Onizuka, Kealakekua, Hawaii, astronaut (died on Space Shuttle Challenger / STS-51-C, STS-51-L)
  • 1947 Clarissa Dickson Wright, English chef and author (Two Fat Ladies)
  • 1947 Peter Weller, Stevens Point, Wisconsin, actor (Robocop, Of Unknown Origin, Prey, Top of the World)
  • 1950 Mercedes R Lackey, NYC, New York, sci-fi author (Arrow’s Fall, Magic’s Pawn/Valdemar series)
  • 1950 Nancy Allen, NYC, actress (Carrie, 1941, Robocop, Dress to Kill)
  • 1963 Mike Wieringo, Italian-born American comic book artist (The Flash, Fantastic Four)
  • 1967 Scott Oden, Columbus, Indiana, historical novelist (Men of Bronze, Memnon, Lion of Cairo)
  • 1985 Kyle Searles, Houston, Texas, actor (7th Heaven, George Lopez, Dawson’s Creek)
  • 1986 Solange Knowles, Houston, Texas, singer-songwriter and actress (younger sister of Beyoncé)

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Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. – Steve Jobs

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1604 Mouth of the Saint John River discovered by Samuel de Champlain (site of Reversing Falls and Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada).
  • 1846 The saxophone is patented by Adolphe Sax in Paris, France.
  • 1880O Canada” first performed, later became the national anthem of Canada.
  • 1901 Pablo Picasso’s artwork was given its first exhibition, in Paris.
  • 1916 Mary Pickford becomes the first female film star to sign a million dollar contract.
  • 1938 Pieces of a meteor, estimated to have weighed 450 metric tons when it hit the Earth’s atmosphere and exploded, land near Chicora, Pennsylvania.
  • 1947 Flying saucers sighted over Mount Rainier by pilot Ken Arnold.
  • 1948 Start of the Berlin Blockade. The Soviet Union makes overland travel between the West with West Berlin impossible.
  • 1949 “Hopalong Cassidy” becomes first network western (NBC), starring William Boyd.
  • 1983 Space Shuttle program: STS-7 Mission Sally Ride, first female American astronaut, returns to earth.
  • 1985 STS-51-G Space Shuttle Discovery completes its mission, best remembered for having Sultan bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud as a Payload Specialist, the first Arab and first Muslim in space.
  • 1992 Supreme Court ruled health warnings on cigarette packs don’t necessarily exempt tobacco companies from false advertising lawsuits if they continue to tell consumers that smoking is safe.
  • 2010 John Isner of the United States defeats Nicolas Mahut of France at Wimbledon, in the longest match in professional tennis history.
  • 2012 Last known Chelonoidis nigra abingdonii tortoise died (subspecies of the Galápagos tortoise).

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Peter walked up to his teacher s desk, holding a report card with a big red F.

“If I were you,” said Peter, “I would change this while you still can.”

“Why is that?” asked the teacher.

“Because my daddy told me that if I brought home one more failing report card, someone was going to get a beating.”

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Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor- survival lore.
One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. Steve tried the usual tactics to determine direction; moss on the trees (there was no moss), the direction of the sun (it was an overcast day).
Just as his wife was beginning to panic, Steve spotted a small cabin off in the distance. He pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, then turned and led his wife right back to their camp.
“That was terrific,” she said, impressed. “How did you do it?”
“Simple,” he replied. “In this part of the country, all TV satellite dishes point south.”

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ONE-LINERS: Car Company Names

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
All Un-informed Drivers Insulted
All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE
Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM
General Maintenance

GMC
Garage Man’s Companion

HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Hated Old Noisy Damaged Auto

HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive?

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW
Virtually Worthless
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A secret agent was sent to Ireland to pick up some very sensitive information from an agent called Murphy. His instructions were to walk around town using a code phrase until he met his fellow agent. He found himself on a desolate country road and finally ran into a farmer.

“Hello, said the agent, “I’m looking for a man called Murphy.”

“Well you’re in luck,” said the farmer, “as it happens, there’s a village right over the hill, where there’s a butcher called Murphy, the baker is named Murphy, three widows are called Murphy. In fact my name is Murphy.”

“Aha,” thought the agent, “here’s my man.” So he whispered the secret code. “The sun is shining…the grass is growing…the cows are ready for milking.”

“Oh,” said the farmer, “you’re looking for Murphy the spy – he’s in the village over the other direction.”

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pic of the day: Exotic Flower & Cloudy Sky

flower with sky as background image
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

~A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

~If you hear it from the horse’s mouth you’re listening to a neigh sayer.

~A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

~Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes.

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A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A child playing in front of his house saw him and called, “What are you hauling?”

“Fertilizer,” the farmer replied.

“What are you going to do with it?” asked the child.

“Put it on strawberries,” answered the farmer.

“You ought to live here,” the child advised him. “We put sugar and cream on them.”

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A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.”

The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, “The wife did it.”

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Two goobers were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first man says to the other, ‘If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you.’

After about three hours, the second man finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.

The next morning, the first man finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the first man if he did what he told him to do. The man answers, ‘Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows.’

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Midsummer Day Lore

~ Although Midsummer Day, June 24, occurs only a few days after the summer solstice, to the farmer it was the midpoint of the growing season, halfway between planting and harvesting, and therefore an occasion for celebration.

~ One of the four Quarter Days in the Celtic calendar, this was a time to hire farm hands and servants, collect rent, hear law cases, and settle accounts.

~ Originally a pagan festival, it was later adapted by the Christian Church to fall in line with St. John’s Day on the 24th, on the eve of which men and women would come to church with lighted candles.

~ Midsummer Eve bonfires are an old custom still observed around the world today. Salt thrown in the bonfire wards off bad luck. Did you know: A “bonfire” was traditionally made with bones instead of wood and called a “bonneyfyre.”

~ Midsummer Eve and Midsummer Day are considered sacred to lovers. On Midsummer Eve, place St. John’s Wort under the pillow in the hope of good dreams, especially of future lovers.

~ Burn St. John’s Wort on the bonfire to keep livestock healthy and banish bad luck.

~ After Midsummer Day, the days shorten. (Info from The Farmer’s Almanac)

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QUIP OF THE DAY: The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. – Al McGuire

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself – the invisible battles inside all of us – that’s where it’s at. –Jesse Owens

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