June 26, 2014

Open your presents at Christmastime but be thankful year round for the gifts you receive. – Terri Guillemets

TODAY – JUNE 26th – THURSDAY

177th day of 2014 with 188 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Beautician’s Day

*Forgiveness Day

*International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking

*International Day in Support of Victims of Torture

*National Chocolate Pudding Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1824 William Thomson, Belfast, Ireland, physicist (mathematical analysis of electricity and formulation of the first and second laws of thermodynamics)
  • 1892 Pearl S. Buck, Hillsboro, West Virginia, author (Nobel / The Good Earth)
  • 1909 Colonel Tom Parker, Netherlands, Elvis Presley’s manager
  • 1913 Maurice Wilkes, Dudley, Worcestershire, UK, computer scientist (Microprogramming)
  • 1937 Robert Coleman Richardson, Washington D.C, physicist (superfluidity in helium-3)
  • 1938 Billy Davis, Jr., St. Louis, Missouri, singer (The 5th Dimension)
  • 1943 John Beasley, Omaha, Nebraska, actor (Everwood, The Sum of All Fears, The Apostle, Walking Tall)
  • 1943 Warren Farrell, Queens, New York, author (The Myth of Male Power, Why Men Are The Way They Are, Father and Child Reunion)
  • 1953 Robert Davi, Astoria, Queens, New York, actor (Die Hard, The Goonies, Showgirls, Licence to Kill, Profiler)
  • 1970 Chris O’Donnell, Winnetka, Illinois, actor (Batman Forever, Batman & Robin )
  • 1970 Nick Offerman, Minooka, Illinois, actor (Parks and Recreation )
  • 1973 Rebecca Budig, Cincinnati, Ohio, actress (All My Children )
  • 1980 Jason Schwartzman, Los Angeles, California, actor (Rushmore, Spun, I Heart Huckabees, Shopgirl, Marie Antoinette )

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“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.” ― Pearl S. Buck

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1870 The Christian holiday of Christmas is declared a federal holiday in the United States.
  • 1886 Henri Moissan isolated elemental Fluorine for the first time.
  • 1907 The 1907 Tiflis bank robbery took place in Yerevan Square, now Freedom Square, Tbilisi.
  • 1909 The Science Museum in London comes into existence as an independent entity.
  • 1917 The first U.S. troops arrive in France to fight alongside Britain and France against Germany in World War I.
  • 1934 Credit Unions are established by President Franklin D. Roosevelt upon signing the Federal Credit Union Act.
  • 1945 The United Nations Charter is signed in San Francisco.
  • 1948 The Western allies begin an airlift to Berlin after the Soviet Union blockades West Berlin.
  • 1948 William Shockley files the original patent for the grown junction transistor, the first bipolar junction transistor.
  • 1960 Madagascar gains its independence from France.
  • 1963 Shortly after Soviet-supported East Germany erected the Berlin Wall, U.S. President John F. Kennedy gave his “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech, underlining the support of the United States for democratic West Germany
  • 1973 At Plesetsk Cosmodrome 9 people are killed in an explosion of a Cosmos 3-M rocket.
  • 1974 The Universal Product Code is scanned for the first time to sell a package of Wrigley’s chewing gum at the Marsh Supermarket in Troy, Ohio
  • 1975 Two FBI agents and a member of the American Indian Movement are killed in a shootout on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota; Leonard Peltier is later convicted of the murders in a controversial trial.
  • 1977 The Yorkshire Ripper kills 16 year old shop assistant Jayne MacDonald in Leeds, changing public perception of the killer as she is the first victim who is not a prostitute.
  • 1996 Irish Journalist Veronica Guerin is shot in her car while in traffic in the outskirts of Dublin
  • 1997 The U.S. Supreme Court rules that the Communications Decency Act violates the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.
  • 2008 The U.S. Supreme Court rules in District of Columbia v. Heller that the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution protects an individual right, and that the District of Columbia handgun ban is unconstitutional.

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There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, “What do you do for a living?”

He said, “I’m a former window washer.”

I asked, “When did you give it up?”

He replied, “Halfway down.”

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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.

He asked me how old I was, and I told him, “62.”

He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”

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“I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin,” the mother said. “Where is he?”

“Well,” her son replied thoughtfully, “if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he’s out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he’s out swimming.”

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ONE-LINERS: If Men Got Pregnant

Maternity leave would last two years….with full pay.

There would be a cure for stretch marks.

Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.

All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

They wouldn’t think twins were so cute.

Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.

Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

They’d stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree’s.

Women would rule the world.

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The woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

“When I got fired, you were there to support me.”

“When my business failed, you were there.”

“When I got shot, you were by my side.”

“When we lost the house, you stayed right here.”

When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?”

“What dear?” She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

“I think you’re bad luck.”

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pic of the day: Monarch Butterfly


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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A high-school student came home one night rather depressed.

“What’s the matter, Son?” asked his mother.

“Aw, gee,” said the boy, “It’s my grades. They’re all wet.”

“What do you mean ‘all wet?'”

“You know,” he replied, “…below C-level.”

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A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

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A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complained about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days.

“Just act surprised and tell them you didn’t think that they were old enough to remember them.”

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As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald’s one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, “We should pray.”

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: “Please, God, don’t let those cars block the entrance to McDonald’s.”

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Error Messages. . . Microsoft is trying to add some humor to its error messages in Windows. Here are a couple of examples:

* Printer not responding; Got a pen and paper handy?

* 3 things are certain in life: Taxes, death, and data loss. Guess which has occurred?

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Success is…knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others. – John C. Maxwell

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