MAY 1, 2014

Be kind – Remember every one you meet is fighting a battle – everybody’s lonesome.- Marion Parker

TODAY – MAY 1st – THURSDAY

121st day of 2014 with 244 to follow.

Holidays for Today:
*May Day – Ancient spring rites that related human fertility to crop fertility gave birth to most modern May Day festivities. The traditional day to crown the May queen, dance around the maypole, perform mummers’ plays, and generally celebrate the return of spring. In Great Britain, the custom of “bringing in the May” involves gathering “knots,” or branches with buds, on the morning of May 1. In North America, we often select forsythia, lilac, or pussy willow branches to bring spring and the prospect of new life into our homes. – (The Old Farmer’s Almanac)

*Loyalty Day

*Mother Goose Day

*Rhino Mayday 2014

*Lei Day (in Hawaii)

*International Workers’ Day

*National Chocolate Parfait Day

*International Sunflower Guerrilla Gardening Day (guerrilla gardeners plant on land they do not have legal right to use, often an abandoned site or area not cared for by anyone)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1764 Benjamin Henry Latrobe, English born American architect (designed U.S. Capitol and Baltimore Basilica)
  • 1825 George Inness, Newburgh, New York, painter (landscapes, helped define the Tonalist movement)
  • 1831 Emily Stowe, Canadian physician and suffragist (first female doctor to practice in Canada)
  • 1852 Calamity Jane, Princeton, Missouri, frontierswoman, professional scout, Wild West performer
  • 1852 Santiago Ramón y Cajal, Spanish neuroscientist (Nobel / father of modern neuroscience)
  • 1864 Anna Jarvis, Webster, West Virginia, founder of Mother’s Day
  • 1907 Kate Smith, Greenville, Virginia, singer (God Bless America)
  • 1910 Dr. J. Allen Hynek, Chicago, Illinois, Astronomer/ astro-physicist (noted UFO investigator, scientific adviser to U.S. Air Force)
  • 1916 Glenn Ford, Canadian actor (Blackboard Jungle, 3:10 to Yuma, Cimarron, The Teahouse of the August Moon, The Courtship of Eddie’s Father, The Sacketts, Cade’s County)
  • 1918 Jack Paar, Canton, Ohio, television host (The Tonight Show)
  • 1923 Joseph Heller, Brooklyn, New York, author (Catch-22, Picture This, Closing Time)
  • 1925 Scott Carpenter, Boulder, Colorado, engineer, test pilot, astronaut (one of the original 7 astronauts for NASA’s Project Mercury / Mercury-Atlas 7 mission)
  • 1935 Ann Robinson, Hollywood, California, actress (The War of the Worlds, Dragnet)
  • 1939 Judy Collins, Seattle, Washington, folk singer (Both Sides Now, Send in the Clowns)
  • 1950 John Diehl, Cincinnati, Ohio, actor (Stripes, Miami Vice, Stargate, The Shield, Jurassic Park III, Singularity Principle )
  • 1954 Joel Rosenberg, Canadian American science fiction author (Guardians of the Flame series, Keepers of the Hidden Ways trilogy, Riftwar)
  • 1954 Ray Parker Jr., Detroit, Michigan, singer and songwriter (wrote & performed the theme song to Ghostbusters)
  • 1966 Charlie Schlatter, Englewood, New Jersey, actor (Diagnosis: Murder, 18 Again!), voice actor (Metal Gear, Everquest II)
  • 1967 Tim McGraw, Delhi, Louisiana, musician (3rd best selling country singer; Live Like You Were Dying, Let It Go)
  • 1972 Julie Benz, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, actress (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dexter, A Gifted Man)
  • 1988 Nicholas Braun, Bethpage, New York, actor (Sky High, 10 Things I Hate About You, Poltergeist )
  • 1991 Creagen Dow, Sebring, Florida, actor (Zoey 101, The Last Day of Summer, Four Christmases)
  • 1997 Ariel Gade, San Jose, California, actress (Envy, Dark Water, Invasion, Call of the Wild, Meteor)

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The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame.- Rod Steiger

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1707 The Act of Union joins the Kingdom of England and Kingdom of Scotland to form the Kingdom of Great Britain.
  • 1751 The first cricket match is played in America.
  • 1785 Kamehameha I, the king of Hawaiʻi, defeats Kalanikupule and establishes the Kingdom of Hawaii.
  • 1840 The Penny Black, the first official adhesive postage stamp, is issued in the United Kingdom.
  • 1884 Proclamation of the demand for eight-hour workday in the United States.
  • 1884 Moses Fleetwood Walker became the first black person to play in a professional baseball game in the United States.
  • 1893 The World’s Columbian Exposition opens in Chicago.
  • 1894 Coxey’s Army, the first significant American protest march, arrives in Washington, D.C.
  • 1900 The Scofield mine disaster kills over 200 men in Scofield, Utah in what is to date the fifth-worst mining accident in United States history.
  • 1901 The Pan-American Exposition opens in Buffalo, New York.
  • 1915 The RMS Lusitania departs from New York City on her two hundred and second, and final, crossing of the North Atlantic. Six days later, the ship is torpedoed off the coast of Ireland with the loss of 1,198 lives, including 128 Americans, rousing American sentiment against Germany.
  • 1970 Protests erupt in Seattle, Washington, following the announcement by U.S. President Richard Nixon that U.S. Forces in Vietnam would pursue enemy troops into Cambodia, a neutral country.
  • 2011 Pope John Paul II is beatified by his successor, Pope Benedict XVI.

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A man is someone who, if a woman says, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself; lets her.

A woman is someone who, if she says to a man, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her; gets mad.

A man is someone who, if a woman says to him, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her and she gets mad; says, “Now what are you mad about?”

A woman is someone who, if she says to a man, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her and she gets mad, and he says, “Now what are mad about?” says, “If you don’t know I’m not going to tell you.”

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OUR COAST GUARD UNIT, assigned to a Navy ship, took part in the invasion of Scoglitti, Sicily, during World War II. After our troops and vehicles were unloaded, some of us were ordered to carry ammunition to an ammo dump on shore.
This mission continued into the night. The Luftwaffe began to stage air raids, and we sought protection near two GI sentries at the ammo dump. They were rookies and as scared as we were. Over the noise of bombs dropping and guns firing, I heard one say to the other nervously, “Ain’t this just like the movies?”
“Yeah, but if it really was,” the second answered, “this is the part where I would get up and walk out.” – Thomas F. Street

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ONE-LINERS: Thoughts to Ponder. . .
~ I don’t want to tell lies, but I do want to keep my job.
~ I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
~ So, does fuzzy logic tickle?
~ What you do today you’ve got to sleep with tonight.
~ Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
~ You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
~ Two things are hard on the heart: Running upstairs and running down people.
~ Enthusiasm is contagious, but hype is a disease.
~ A lot of people have heard opportunity knocking at the door, but by the time they unlocked the chain, pushed back the bolt, turned two locks, and shut off the burglar alarm, it was gone.
~ Unforgiveness does a great deal more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than to the object on which it is poured.
~ An obstinate man does not hold opinions — they hold him.
~ It isn’t that they can’t see the solution, it’s that they can’t see the problem.
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One day, a man was walking along the beach and came across an odd-looking lamp. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. “For releasing me from the lamp, I will grant you three wishes,” said the Genie. The man was ecstatic.

“But there’s a catch,” the Genie continued.

“What catch?” asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously.

The Genie replied, “For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive DOUBLE what you asked for”.

“Hey, I can live with that! No problem!” replied the elated man.

“Then what is your first wish?” asked the Genie. “Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!” POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man. “Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris,” said the Genie. “What is your next wish?”

“I could really use a million dollars … “ replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. “Now, every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer,” the Genie reminded the man.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got MY million,” replied the man.

“And what is your final wish?” asked the Genie. The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney … .”

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pic of the day: Crab Apple Blossoms

Crab Apple blossoms
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A man went into a bar. He was sitting on the stool, enjoying his drink, when he heard a voice which said: “You look great”. He looked around, but there was nobody near him.

He heard the voice again: “Really, you look terrific”. The guy looked around again. Still nobody.

Then he heard: “Is that a new shirt or something? Because you look simply fantastic.” Suddenly the man realised that the voice was coming from a bowl of nuts on the bar.

“Hey”, the man called to the barman. “What’s with the nuts?”

“Oh”, the bartender replied. “They’re complimentary”.

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After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him — and got a woman. “Is Mike there?” I asked.

“He’s in the shower,” she responded.

“Please tell him his girlfriend called,” I said and hung up.

When he didn’t return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. “This is Mike,” he said.

“You’re not my boyfriend!” I exclaimed.

“I know,” he replied. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour.”

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A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

“Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”

So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Services will be at Downing Funeral Home on Monday the 12th. Due to the condition of the body, this will be a closed casket service. Please send your donations to the “Think Before You Say Things To Your Wife Foundation,” Dallas, Texas.

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“Where did you get that candy bar?”

“I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me,”

“But that dollar was for Sunday School!”

“I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Just great! I finally get a genuine idea, and someone else thought of it first.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
Whatever you think, be sure it is what you think; whatever you want, be sure that is what you want; whatever you feel, be sure that is what you feel.- T. S. Eliot

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