May 21, 2014

“If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day.” – John A. Wheeler

TODAY – MAY 21st – WEDNESDAY

141st day of 2014 with 224 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Strawberries and Cream Day

*National Memo Day

*National Waiters and Waitresses Day

*World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development

*National EMS Week 2014 (May 18-24) “EMS: Dedicated. For Life.

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1688 Alexander Pope, British poet, translator of Homer (known for use of heroic couplet)
  • 1792 Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis, Paris, scientist (supplementary forces that are detected in a rotating frame of reference)
  • 1873 Hans Berger, German neuroscientist ( first to record human electroencephalograms (EEGs or “brain waves”) in 1924, for which he invented the electroencephalogram (giving the device its name), and the discoverer of the alpha wave rhythm known as “Berger’s wave”)
  • 1878 Glenn Curtiss, Hammondsport, New York, aviation engineer (founder of U.S. aircraft industry, made first officially witnessed flight in North America, pioneer naval aviation)
  • 1904 Robert Montgomery, Beacon, New York, actor (Night Must Fall, Here Comes Mr. Jordan, They Were Expendable)
  • 1916 Harold Robbins, NYC, New York, author (The Dream Merchants, The Carpetbaggers, Descent from Xanadu, Tycoon, Sin City)
  • 1917 Raymond Burr, Canadian actor (Perry Mason, Ironside, Godzilla 1985)
  • 1921 A.S. Douglas, London, England, computer scientist (credited with creating the first graphical Computer game OXO)
  • 1934 Bengt I. Samuelsson, Halmstad, biochemist (prostaglandins)
  • 1941 Ronald Isley, Cincinnati, Ohio, singer (The Isley Brothers)
  • 1952 Mr. T (Laurence Tureaud), Chicago, Illinois, actor and professional wrestler (The A-Team, Rocky III, I Pity the Fool)
  • 1957 Judge Reinhold, Wilmington, Delaware, actor (Dr. Dolittle Million Dollar Mutts, Beverly Hills Cop, Ruthless People, Fast Times at Ridgemont High)
  • 1964 Carolyn Lawrence, Baltimore, Maryland, actress, voice (Sandy Cheeks on SpongeBob SquarePants, Cindy Vortex on The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Morel Orel, Resident Evil 4)
  • 1966 Lisa Edelstein, Boston, Massachusetts, actress (Dr. Lisa Cuddy on House, Relativity, The Legend of Korra, Girlfriends Guide to Divorce (2015))
  • 1973 Stewart Cink, Huntsville, Alabama, golfer (won 2009 Open championship)
  • 1974 Fairuza Balk, Point Reyes, California, actress (Return to Oz, Gas Food Lodging, The Craft, Water Boy)
  • 1991 Sarah Ramos, Los Angeles, California, actress (American Dreams, Parenthood)
  • 1992 Olivia Olson, Los Angeles, California, singer and actress (voice of Vanessa in Phineas and Ferb, and Marceline in Adventure Time )

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The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. – ­Chinese Proverb

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1758 Ten-year-old Mary Campbell is abducted in Pennsylvania by Lenape during the French and Indian War (returned some six and a half years later).
  • 1856 Lawrence, Kansas is captured and burned by pro-slavery forces.
  • 1881 The American Red Cross is established by Clara Barton in Washington, D.C..
  • 1894 The Manchester Ship Canal in England is officially opened by Queen Victoria, who later knights its designer Sir Edward Leader Williams.
  • 1904 The Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) is founded in Paris.
  • 1917 The Great Atlanta fire of 1917 causes $5.5 million in damages, destroying some 300 acres including 2,000 homes, businesses and churches, displacing about 10,000 people and leading to only fatality (due to heart attack).
  • 1924 University of Chicago students Richard Loeb and Nathan Leopold, Jr. murder 14-year-old Bobby Franks in a “thrill killing”.
  • 1927 Charles Lindbergh touches down at Le Bourget Field in Paris, completing the world’s first solo nonstop flight across the Atlantic Ocean.
  • 1932 Bad weather forces Amelia Earhart to land in a pasture in Derry, Northern Ireland, and she thereby becomes the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.
  • 1934 Oskaloosa, Iowa, becomes the first municipality in the United States to fingerprint all of its citizens.
  • 1937 A Soviet station, North Pole-1, becomes the first scientific research settlement to operate on the drift ice of the Arctic Ocean.
  • 1946 Physicist Louis Slotin is fatally irradiated in a criticality incident during an experiment with the Demon core at Los Alamos National Laboratory.
  • 1951 The opening of the Ninth Street Show, otherwise known as the 9th Street Art Exhibition – a gathering of a number of notable artists, and the stepping-out of the post war New York avant-garde, collectively known as the New York School.
  • 1961 Alabama Governor John Malcolm Patterson declares martial law in an attempt to restore order after race riots break out.
  • 1990 The Democratic Republic of Yemen and North Yemen agree to merge into the Republic of Yemen.
  • 1991 Former Indian prime minister Rajiv Gandhi is assassinated by a female suicide bomber near Madras.
  • 1998 In Miami, Florida, five abortion clinics are hit by a butyric acid attacker.
  • 2001 French Taubira law is enacted, officially recognizing the Atlantic slave trade and slavery as crimes against humanity.
  • 2003 An earthquake hits northern Algeria killing more than 2,000 people.
  • 2005 The tallest roller coaster in the world, Kingda Ka opens at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson Township, New Jersey.
  • 2006 The Republic of Montenegro holds a referendum proposing independence from the State Union of Serbia and Montenegro. The Montenegrin people choose independence with a majority of 55%.
  • 2010 JAXA, the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency, launches the solar-sail spacecraft IKAROS aboard an H-IIA rocket. The vessel would make a Venus flyby late in the year.
  • 2011 Radio broadcaster Harold Camping predicted that the end of the world would occur on this day, a prophecy that was obviously incorrect.

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When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers.

“Oh, you’re 4,” said the teacher. “And when will you be 5?”

The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, “When I hold up the other finger.”

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Recently in traffic court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed policeman had given his okay for the man to park there.

The judge asked the man if he would recognize the officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The judge then said, “Good. When you see the officer again, tell him he owes you $157. Next.”

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ONE-LINERS: Random Thoughts . . .
~ I have a mind like a steel trap — rusty and illegal in thirty-seven states.
~ If you think of a color that does not exist, is it a pigment of your imagination?
~ The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
~ Actually, the alphabet isn’t really in that order at all. We’ve been duped.
~ Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
~ Sponges grow in the ocean. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.
~ If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
~ What are imitation rhinestones?
~ Who came up with the word why? And why?
~ My friend had the 24 hour bug for three days; go figure!
~ if at first you don’t succeed, go back and destroy all evidence that you even tried!

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A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns.

Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.

The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.

Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that.”

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pic of the day: Glenn Curtiss, aviation pioneer in France in 1909


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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

In a village a long time ago there lived a people called Nids, they were midgets. Every day the Nids went into the fields to farm. But every day a giant would wander though the fields kicking the Nids. So, one day the Nids finally got fed up and went to the town Rabbi for advice. The Rabbi said not to worry and that he’d handle it.

So, one day the Rabbi went into the fields dressed as a Nid. Eventually, the giant showed up for his usual routine of kicking the Nids. But when the giant reached the Rabbi he just stepped over him and continued along his way. The Rabbi wondered about this and chased after the giant and yelled, “Hey! I’m a Nid! Why didn’t you kick me?” The giant simply replied, “Silly Rabbi! Kicks are for Nids!”

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The principal of a middle school had a problem with some girls who were starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors, leaving lip prints.

Before it got out of hand, he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off the mirrors. The principal then asked the custodian, who was present, to demonstrate.

The custodian took a long handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and vigorously rubbed the lipstick off the mirror.

From that day forward, the mirrors stayed lipstick free.

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When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.”

The clerk looked at his picture closely. “It’s okay,” he reassured the man: “That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.”

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Recently, I got to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.

One guy asked, “If our chute doesn’t open, and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?”

Our jumpmaster looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, “The rest of your life.”

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A man is waiting alone in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women. An usher comes along and says, “I have two seats together.” Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man, “Why don’t you let them go first? You wouldn’t want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?”

The man says, “No, sir. I did that once, and I’ve been sorry ever since.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Practice makes perfect! Sharpen your sleeping skills.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” – ­Audrey Hepburn

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