May 6, 2014

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. – John F. Kennedy

TODAY – MAY 6th – TUESDAY

126th day of 2014 with 2390 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Beverage Day

*International No Diet Day

*National Crepes Suzette Day

*National Photography Month

*National Tourist Appreciation Day

*National Nurses Day & National Nurses Week

*National Teachers Day (Tuesday of the first full week of May)

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1742 Jean Senebier, Geneva, pastor/ botanist (discovered plants consume carbon dioxide, release oxygen under the influence of light)
  • 1806 Chapin Aaron Harris, Pompey, New York, dentist who was one of the founders of dentistry as a profession
  • 1856 Sigmund Freud, Austrian Austrian neurologist & psychiatrist (founding father of psychoanalysis)
  • 1856 Robert Peary, Cresson, Pennsylvania, explorer (led first expedition that claimed to reach geographic North Pole)
  • 1895 Rudolph Valentino, Italian-American actor (The Sheik, Blood and Sand, The Eagle)
  • 1904 Raymond Bailey, Irvine, California, actor (banker Drysdale/Beverly Hillbillies)
  • 1915 Orson Welles, Kenosha, Wisconsin, director and actor (The War of the Worlds, Citizen Kane)
  • 1915 Theodore White, Boston, Massachusetts, writer (Making of the President series)
  • 1929 Paul Lauterbur, Sidney, Ohio, chemist (Nobel/magnetic resonance imaging)
  • 1931 Willie Mays, Westfield, Alabama, considered greatest all-around baseball player
  • 1945 Bob Seger, Detroit, Michigan, singer/songwriter (Night Moves)
  • 1947 Alan Dale, New Zealand, actor (The Young Doctors, Neighbours, Star Trek Nemesis, The O.C., Lost, Ugly Betty, Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Priest, Captain America: The Winter Soldier)
  • 1952 Michael O’Hare, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Sinclair/Babylon 5; play “Shades of Brown”)
  • 1953 Tony Blair, former British prime minister (1997-2007)
  • 1953 Lynn Whitfield, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, actress (Josephine Baker Story, Touched by an Angel, The Wedding, Head of State, Cheetah Girls)
  • 1955 Tom Bergeron, Haverhill, Massachusetts, emcee/game show host (Funniest Home Videos, Hollywood Squares, Dancing w/the Stars)
  • 1961 George Clooney, Lexington, Kentucky, actor (ER, Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, Ocean’s Eleven, Syriana, Up in the Air, Argo, Gravity, The Monuments Men)
  • 1996 Dominic Scott Kay, Los Angeles, California, actor (Pirates of the Caribbean World’s End, Wilbur/Charlotte’s Web, Buddha/Air Buddies, Snow Buddies)

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Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. – Jimi Hendrix

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1536 King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church.
  • 1816 The American Bible Society is founded in New York City.
  • 1840 Adhesive postage stamp was first sold in Great Britain. The “penny black” and “twopenny blue” stamps showed the profile of Queen Victoria.
  • 1851 U.S. patent was issued to Linus Yale, Jr. for his invention of his “Self-Detaching and Attaching Key-Lock”.
  • 1861 Arkansas secedes from the Union.
  • 1877 Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Sioux surrenders to United States troops in Nebraska.
  • 1889 Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition in Paris.
  • 1935 New Deal: Executive Order 7034 creates the Works Progress Administration.
  • 1937 German zeppelin Hindenburg catches fire and is destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Thirty-six people are killed.
  • 1940 John Steinbeck is awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Grapes of Wrath.
  • 1941 At California’s March Field, Bob Hope performs his first USO show.
  • 1953 A heart-lung machine designed by Dr. John Heysham Gibbon was used to successfully complete the first open-heart surgery.
  • 1954 Roger Bannister becomes the first person to run the mile in under four minutes.
  • 1960 More than 20 million viewers watch the first televised royal wedding when Princess Margaret marries Anthony Armstrong-Jones at Westminster Abbey.
  • 1981 A jury of architects and sculptors unanimously selects Maya Ying Lin’s design for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial from 1,421 other entries.
  • 1989 Cedar Point opens Magnum XL-200, the first roller coaster to break the 200 ft height barrier, therefore spawning what is considered to be the coaster wars.
  • 1998 Kerry Wood strikes out 20 Houston Astros to tie the major league record held by Roger Clemens. He threw a one-hitter and did not walk a batter in his 5th career start.
  • 2008 Chaiten Volcano erupts in Chile, forcing the evacuation of more than 4,500 people.
  • 2013 Three women missing for more than a decade are found alive in the U.S. city of Cleveland, Ohio. Ariel Castro, is taken into custody.

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A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.

She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”

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Texas has so many inmates on its Death Row, they finally had to start executing them two at a time.

On this day, a cowboy and a biker are brought to receive their sentence.

The warden asks the cowboy if he has a Final Request.

“Yew betcha, Warden,” the cowboy replies. “I’d be mighty grateful if you’d play ‘Achy Break Heart’ fer me one last time.”

“Yes, we can do that for you,” the Warden says, before turning to the biker. “Do you have a Final Request too?”

“You better believe it,” the biker says. “Kill me first!”

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ONE-LINERS: Getting Old

– How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

– Ahh, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

– One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

– The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

– You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

– When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

– If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

– Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.

– Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

– One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

– If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??

– First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper, then…Oh, my goodness, you forgot to pull your zipper down!

– Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want to people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

And best of all…

– I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

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THINGS MOM WOULD NEVER SAY

“How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”

“Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.”

“Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.”

“Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week.”

“Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”

“Well, if Ron’s mamma says it’s okay, that’s good enough for me.”

“The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”

“I don’t have a tissue with me … just use your sleeve.”

“Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the wind-chill is bound to improve.”

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pic of the day: Warbler Amid Cherry Blossoms


PHOTOGRAPHER: Raymond K. Gehman
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Quasimodo goes to a doctor for an annual checkup.
The doctor says, “I think something is wrong with your back.”
“What makes you say that?” asks Quasimodo.
“I don’t know … it’s just a hunch.”

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A man noticed he was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. Not wanting to let the crazed woman push him, he stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by flooring it.

The tailgating woman slammed on her brakes, then her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection with him. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, the jailer approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

“I’m sorry for this mistake,” he says. “You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.”

“Yeah, so?” she says.

“Naturally,” he concluded, “I assumed you had stolen the car.”

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A client brought a litter of Golden Retriever puppies to the local veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming.

As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, the experienced vet realized it would be difficult to tell which had been treated and which hadn’t. The Vet turned on the water faucet, wet her fingers and moistened each dog’s head as she finished giving each one the necessary shots.

After the fourth puppy, the vet noticed her hitherto talkative client had grown silent and was looking rather reverent.

As the animal doctor sprinkled the last pup’s head, the owner leaned forward and whispered, “I didn’t know they had to be baptized, too.”

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The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said.

“Like what?” the punk replied.

“I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back,” the experienced man said.

All the other older men looked on with a mixture of “uh oh” and admiration on their faces, not sure what was up his sleeve. But that didn’t faze the braggart.

“You’re on, old man,” the strapping young man replied. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right, punk. Get in.”

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Ever notice how the people who tell you to settle down are the ones who got you mad in the first place?

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand? – Robert Louis Stevenson

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