Jokes and Trivia for February 19, 2013

Believe in yourself and you can achieve greatness in your life. – Judy Blume

TODAY – FEBRUARY 19th – TUESDAY

50th day of 2013 with 315 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*National Chocolate Mint Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1473 Nicolaus Copernicus, Poland, mathematician and astronomer (formulated a comprehensive heliocentric model which placed the Sun, rather than the Earth, at the center of the universe)
  • 1660 Friedrich Hoffmann, Halle, German physician and chemist (Medicina rationalis systematica)
  • 1859 Svante Arrhenius, Wik Castle, Sweden, chemist (one of the founders of the science of physical chemistry)
  • 1924 Lee Marvin, New York City, New York, actor (Cat Ballou, M Squad, Donovan’s Reef, The Dirty Dozen, Paint Your Wagon, Monte Walsh, Dog Day, The Delta Force)
  • 1932 Joseph P. Kerwin, Oak Park, Illinois, physician, former NASA astronaut (Skylab 2, first doctor in the astronaut program)
  • 1940 Smokey Robinson, Detroit, Michigan, singer (R&B, The Miracles)
  • 1941 David Gross, Washington, D.C., physicist (Nobel / discovery of asymptotic freedom)
  • 1948 Mark Andes, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,  musician (Spirit, Firefall and Heart)
  • 1951 Stephen Nichols, Cincinnati, Ohio,  actor (Days of our Lives)
  • 1952 Amy Tan, Oakland, California, author (The Joy Luck Club, The Bonesetter’s Daughter)
  • 1954 Michael Gira, Los Angeles, California,  musician (Swans)
  • 1955 Jeff Daniels, Athens, Georgia, actor (Arachnophobia, Timescape, Gettysburg, Fly Away Home, Pleasantville, The Crossing, Te Squid and the Whale, The Lookout, The Newsroom)
  • 1956 Kathleen Beller, Westchester, New York, actress (Promises in the Dark)
  • 1963 Laurell K. Hamilton, Heber Springs, Arkansas, author (Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series, also Nightseer, Nightshade, Never After)
  • 1964 Doug Aldrich, Raleigh, North Carolina, musician (Whitesnake and Burning Rain)
  • 1973 Eric Lange, Hamilton, Ohio,  actor (Lost, Secretariat)
  • 1981 Beth Ditto, Searcy, Arkansas, singer (The Gossip)
  • 1981 Daniel Letterle, Northfield, Ohio,  actor (The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green and Camp)
  • 1985 Haylie Duff, Houston, Texas, singer/actress (7th Heaven)

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The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. – Winston Churchill

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1674 England and the Netherlands sign the Treaty of Westminster, ending the Third Anglo-Dutch War. A provision of the agreement transfers the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam to England, and it is renamed New York.
  • 1807 Former Vice President of the United States Aaron Burr is arrested in Alabama for treason and confined to Fort Stoddert.
  • 1846 The newly formed Texas state government is officially installed in Austin, Texas. The Republic of Texas government officially transfers power to the State of Texas government following Texas’ annexation by the United States.
  • 1847 The first group of rescuers reaches the Donner Party, a group of 87 American pioneers who in 1846 set off from Missouri in a wagon train headed west for California.
  • 1852 The Phi Kappa Psi fraternity is founded at Jefferson College in Canonsburg, Pennsylvania.
  • 1859 Daniel E. Sickles, a New York Congressman, is acquitted of murder on grounds of temporary insanity. This is the 1st time this defense is successfully used in the United States.
  • 1878 Thomas Edison patents the phonograph.
  • 1884 In the Southern United States more than sixty tornadoes strike, one of the largest tornado outbreaks in U.S. history.
  • 1915 World War I: The first naval attack on the Dardanelles begins when a strong Anglo-French task force bombards Ottoman artillery along the coast of Gallipoli.
  • 1942 World War II: President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs the executive order 9066, allowing the United States military to relocate Japanese-Americans to Japanese internment camps.
  • 1943 World War II: Battle of the Kasserine Pass in Tunisia begins.
  • 1945 World War II: Battle of Iwo Jima – about 30,000 United States Marines land on the island of Iwo Jima.
  • 1948 The Conference of Youth and Students of Southeast Asia Fighting for Freedom and Independence convenes in Calcutta.
  • 1949 Ezra Pound is awarded the first Bollingen Prize in poetry by the Bollingen Foundation and Yale University.
  • 1985 Artificial heart recipient William J. Schroeder becomes the first such patient to leave hospital.
  • 1985 Iberia Airlines Boeing 727 crashes into Mount Oiz in Spain, killing 148.
  • 1986 The Soviet Union launches its Mir spacecraft. Remaining in orbit for 15 years, it is occupied for 10 of those years.
  • 1999 President Bill Clinton issues a posthumous pardon for U.S. Army Lt. Henry Ossian Flipper.
  • 2001 The Oklahoma City bombing museum is dedicated at the Oklahoma City National Memorial.
  • 2002 NASA’s Mars Odyssey space probe begins to map the surface of Mars using its thermal emission imaging system.
  • 2006 A methane explosion in coal mine near Nueva Rosita, Mexico, kills 65 miners.

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Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.

“I would like my grandchildren to say, ‘He was successful in business’,” declared the first man.

“Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want them to say, ‘He was a loyal family man’.”

Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?”

“Me?” the third man replied. “I want them all to say, “He certainly looks good for his age’!”

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Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.

Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.

The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:

“Nana?”

“Yes?”

“There are 38.”

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ONE-LINERS: Did You Ever Wonder?

– If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

– Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack?

– If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

– If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

– When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Or do you get change?

– Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?

– Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.

– Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist?

– Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

– Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

– Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?

– If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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pic of the day: Shetland Sheep Ewe

picture of Shetland sheep ewe

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”

The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!”

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

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WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”

HUSBAND: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”

WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”

HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”

WIFE: “In the pool.”

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The Pope dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new quarters which turn out to be a tiny one bedroom apartment.

The Pope is horrified and wants to know why he doesn’t have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.

Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the penthouse is a lawyer.

“A lawyer,” says the Pope. “But I’m the Pope, surely I’m more important.”

“With respect Sir,” says Saint Peter, “We have lots of Pope’s up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: MINT

~There are about 30 species of mint and some say almost 500 varieties, including peppermint, spearmint, apple mint, orange mint, Spanish mint, pineapple mint, ginger mint, mackerel mint, lamb mint, horsemint, lemon mint, pennyroyal, water mint, chocolate mint. WOW! SO MANY?!!

~The Romans and Greeks appreciated mint’s refreshing scent and used it to flavor cordials, condiments and even used it in baths and bedchambers for its clean, invigorating perfume.

~Mint was used by the ancient Assyrians in rituals to their fire god.

~For  the ancient Hebrews scattered mint leaves on the synagogue floor so that each footstep would produce a fragrant whiff.

~During the Middle Ages, besides culinary use, powdered mint leaves were used to whiten the teeth.

~Mint is well thought of in Mexico, where it is known as yerba buena, the good herb.

~Mint is said to be an effective mouse prevention.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: A well-spent day brings happy sleep. – Leonardo da Vinci

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Failure is blindness to the strategic element in events; success is readiness for instant action when the opportune moment arrives. – Newell D. Hillis