Jokes and Trivia for November 30, 2012

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.  – Norman Vincent Peale 

TODAY – NOVEMBER 30th – FRIDAY

335th day of 2012 with 31 to follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day

*National Mousse Day

*Computer Security Day

*Cities for Life Day

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1667 Jonathan Swift, Dublin, England, satirist (Gulliver’s Travels, A Modest Proposal)
  • 1756 Ernst Chladni, Wittenberg, German physicist (vibrating plates and the calculation of the speed of sound for different gases)
  • 1810 Oliver Winchester, Boston, Maine, clothing manufacturer / gunsmith (Winchester rifles)
  • 1835 Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens], Florida, Missouri, author (Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court)
  • 1858 Jagdish Chandra Bose, Bangladesh, Indian physicist (pioneered investigation of radio and microwave optics, significant contributions to plant science, laid the foundations of experimental science in the Indian subcontinent)
  • 1869 Gustaf Dalén, Stenstorp, Västergötland, Sweden, physicist (inventor of the AGA cooker and the Dalén light)
  • 1874 Sir Winston Churchill, Oxfordshire, England, (C) British PM (1940-45, 1951-55, Nobel 1953)
  • 1906 John Dickson Carr, Uniontown, Pennsylvania, author (detective stories with characters Dr. Fell, Sir Henry Merrivale, Henri Bencolin, and Colonel March / The Judas Window, The Man With a Cloak, Dangerous Crossing)
  • 1912 Gordon Parks, Fort Scott, Kansas, photographer (photo essays for Life), film director (Shaft), composer and writer
  • 1915 Henry Taube, Neudorf, Saskatchewan, Canada, chemist (Nobel / mechanisms of electron-transfer reactions, especially in metal complexes)
  • 1926 Richard Crenna, Los Angeles, California, actor (Rambo, Summer Rental, Sand Pebbles, Centennial)
  • 1927 Robert Guillaume, St Louis, Missouri, actor (Benson, Soap, Lean on Me, mandrill Rafiki/ The Lion King, Eli Vance / Half-Life 2 series)
  • 1929 Dick Clark, New York, New York, television host (American Bandstand, The $10,000 Pyramid, and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve)
  • 1955 Kevin Conroy, Westbury, New York,  actor (Batman in the DC animated universe)
  • 1958 Stacey Q, Fullerton, California, singer (Pandora’s Box, Trip )
  • 1965 Ben Stiller, New York City,  actor (Madagascar, Night at the Museum, Mystery Men, Zoolander)
  • 1969 Amy Ryan, Queens, New York, actress (Gone Baby Gone, The Wire, In Treatment, The Office, Changeling)
  • 1970 Perrey Reeves, New York City, New York,  actress ( Entourage)
  • 1985 Kaley Cuoco, Camarillo, California,  actress and model (8 Simple Rules, Charmed, The Big Bang Theory )
  • 1994 William Melling, London, England,  Actor (Nigel / Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

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Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. ― Guillaume Apollinaire

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1783 A 5.3 magnitude earthquake strikes New Jersey.
  • 1803 Spanish representatives officially transfer Louisiana Territory to a French representative. Just 20 days later, France transfers the same land to the United States as the Louisiana Purchase
  • 1804 The Democratic-Republican-controlled United States Senate begins an impeachment trial against Federalist-partisan Supreme Court of the United States Justice Samuel Chase.
  • 1886 First commercially successful U.S. alternating current power plant was opened at Buffalo, N.Y. by George Westinghouse.
  • 1902 American Old West: Second-in-command of Butch Cassidy’s Wild Bunch gang, Kid Curry Logan, is sentenced to 20 years imprisonment with hard labor.
  • 1908 A mine explosion in the mining town of Marianna, Pennsylvania kills 154.
  • 1954 In Sylacauga, Alabama, United States, the Hodges Meteorite crashes through a roof and hits a woman taking an afternoon nap in the only documented case of a human being hit by a rock from space.
  • 1972 Vietnam War: White House Press Secretary Ron Ziegler tells the press that there will be no more public announcements concerning American troop withdrawals from Vietnam due to the fact that troop levels are now down to 27,000.
  • 1993 U.S. President Bill Clinton signs the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act (the Brady Bill) into law.
  • 1994 The National Football League announces that the Jacksonville Jaguars will become the league’s 30th franchise.
  • 1999 In Seattle, Washington, United States, protests against the WTO meeting by anti-globalization protesters catch police unprepared and force the cancellation of opening ceremonies.
  • 2001 In Renton, Washington, United States, Gary Ridgway aka The Green River Killer is arrested.
  • 2004 Longtime Jeopardy! champion Ken Jennings of Salt Lake City, Utah finally loses, leaving him with US$2,520,700, television’s biggest game show winnings.

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Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.

The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For pity’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?”

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A police recruit was asked on an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

In the blank, he wrote, “Call for backup.”

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ONE-LINERS: Notes To The Rural Milkman

“Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.”

“Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.”

“Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it”

“Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.”

“Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.”

“Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.”

“When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.”

“Please knock. My television’s broken down and I missed last nights ‘Sopranos.’ If you saw it, will you tell me what happened.”

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pic of the day: Birds on shore

pic of birds on shore

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Bovine Humor

Q: What do cows do for entertainment?
A: Go to moo-vies.

Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moo-dy Blues

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There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
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A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things.”

The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”

The first woman asked, “Did it help?”

Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Mousse

~If it happens that you didn’t know, the word mousse is French and translates as “froth” or “foam.”

~There are three key elements to a mousse.  First is the base.  This is the principal flavoring agent, such as the chocolate in a chocolate mousse or the salmon in a salmon mousse.

~Second, Gelatin is a protein derived from beef or veal bones

~Finally, a mousse is lightened by an aerator such as beaten egg whites or whipped cream. This produces the airy texture.

~If you are in France, no matter which region, no matter where you eat, it is expected that you will be offered with the divine French dessert Mousse au Chocolat.

~It first hit the culinary scene in 1894 it was held in reserve for savory dishes like fish and vegetables.

~Toulouse Lautrec had the dazzling idea of mixing in chocolate to the graceful and airy invention.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see – John Burroughs

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

This is your life. Do what you love and do it often. – The Holstee Manifesto