Jokes and Trivia for November 6, 2012

Sometimes it is the quiet observer who see the most. – Kathryn L. Nelson, Pemberley Manor, 2006

TODAY – NOVEMBER 6th – TUESDAY

311th day of 2012 with 55 to  follow.

Holidays for Today:

*Election Day in U.S.

*Marooned without a Compass Day

*Saxophone Day

*National Nachos Day

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1814 Adolphe Sax, Dinant, Wallonia, Belgium, inventor (best known for having invented the saxophone)
  • 1851 Charles Dow, Sterling, Connecticut, journalist and economist (co-founded Dow Jones & Company and The Wall Street Jounal)
  • 1854 John Philip Sousa, Washington, D.C., composer (“The March King”, military & patriotic marches)
  • 1861 James Naismith, Canadian inventor of basketball
  • 1893 Edsel Ford, Detroit, Michigan, automotive executive (son of Henry Ford; president of Ford Motor Co. from 1919-1943)
  • 1916 Ray Conniff, Attleboro, Massachusetts, composer and conductor (Ray Conniff Singers)
  • 1937 Eugene Pitt, Brooklyn, New York,  singer (The Jive Five)
  • 1946 Sally Field, Pasadena, California, actress (Gidget, The Flying Nun, Sybil, Steel Magnolias, Forrest Gump, Places in the Heart)
  • 1948 Glenn Frey, Detroit, Michigan, singer (Eagles)
  • 1955 Maria Shriver, Chicago, Illinois, journalist & author (What’s Happening to Grandpa?, What’s Heaven?)
  • 1957 Lori Singer, Corpus Christi, Texas, actress (Footloose)
  • 1968 Jerry Yang, Taipei, Taiwan, internet entrepreneur (co-founder and former CEO of Yahoo! Inc)
  • 1968 Kelly Rutherford, Elizabethtown, Kentucky,  actress (Gossip Girl )
  • 1986 Katie Leclerc, San Antonio, Texas,  actress (Switched at Birth)
  • 1988 Emma Stone, Scottsdale, Arizona,  actress (The House Bunny, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Spider-Man film series)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Correction does much, but encouragement does more. – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1789 Pope Pius VI appoints Father John Carroll as the first Catholic bishop in the United States.
  • 1844 The first constitution of the Dominican Republic is adopted.
  • 1856 Scenes of Clerical Life, the first work of fiction by the author later known as George Eliot, is submitted for publication.
  • 1860 Defeating three other candidates, Abraham Lincoln, the former Illinois congressman won the U.S. presidency.
  • 1918 The Second Polish Republic is proclaimed in Poland.
  • 1934 Memphis, Tennessee becomes the first major city to join the Tennessee Valley Authority.
  • 1935 Edwin Armstrong presents his paper “A Method of Reducing Disturbances in Radio Signaling by a System of Frequency Modulation” to the New York section of the Institute of Radio Engineers.
  • 1935 First flight of the Hawker Hurricane.
  • 1935 Parker Brothers acquires the forerunner patents for MONOPOLY from Elizabeth Magie.
  • 1947 Meet the Press makes its television debut (the show went to a weekly schedule on September 12, 1948).
  • 1971 The United States Atomic Energy Commission tests the largest U.S. underground hydrogen bomb, code-named Cannikin, on Amchitka Island in the Aleutians.
  • 1975 Green March begins: 300,000 unarmed Moroccans converge on the southern city of Tarfaya and wait for a signal from King Hassan II of Morocco to cross into Western Sahara.
  • 1977 The Kelly Barnes Dam, located above Toccoa Falls Bible College near Toccoa, Georgia, fails, killing 39.
  • 1995 The Rova of Antananarivo, home of the sovereigns of Madagascar from the 16th to 19th centuries, is destroyed by fire.
  • 1999 Australians vote to keep the Head of the Commonwealth as their head of state in the Australian republic referendum.
  • 2004 An express train collides with a stationary car near the village of Ufton Nervet, England, killing 7 and injuring 150.
  • 2005 The Evansville Tornado of November 2005 kills 25 in Northwestern Kentucky and Southwestern Indiana.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Two hunters were walking through the woods when they almost stepped into a large hole in the middle of the trail. They jumped back and one of them said, “Wow, that was close! We almost fell into that hole. Gee, I wonder how deep it is … ”

So they tossed a rock into the hole and listened, but they never heard it hit bottom. “Let’s try something bigger,” so they looked around and found a railroad tie laying by the trail. They dragged the railroad tie over to the hole, tipped it up, and let it fall in. They listened again, but still never heard it hit bottom.

The two hunters were standing there amazed at how deep this hole is,when suddenly they heard a fierce thrashing and crashing noise from behind. They spun around to see a donkey come wildly charging right at them. They jumped out of the way just in time to see the donkey blast by them, dive into the hole and disappear from sight.

Now the two hunters were totally amazed. One of them said, “Wow! That was WIERD! Let’s get outta here!”

As they were running out of the woods they encountered a farmer walking back and forth in his field, looking around and scratching his head. The farmer said, “Hey, you guys happen to see my donkey around here?”

The two hunters looked at each other then told the farmer, “Well, as a matter of fact we DID just see a donkey. He ran right by us and jumped down into a deep hole back there in the woods.”

“Naah, that couldn’t a been my donkey. I left my donkey hitched to a railroad tie.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A grocer put up a sign that read “Eggplants, 25 cents each — three for a dollar.”

All day long, customers came in exclaiming: “Don’t be ridiculous! I should get FOUR for a dollar!”

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants.

The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, “Aren’t you going to fix the mistake on your sign?”

“What mistake?” the grocer asked. “Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: Observations on growing old

The five pounds you wanted to lose is now fifteen, and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

But don’t despair — you have an excellent chance of losing your keys.

You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything. Especially golf.

Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don’t remember.

The things you cared to do, you now don’t care to do, but you care that you don’t care to do the any more.

Your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It’s called “pre-sleep”.

Remember when your mother said “Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident”? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident.

You used to say, “I hope my kids get married.” Now it’s “I hope they STAY married.”

The best place to have a conversation with your spouse is in the bathroom — you have their undivided attention.

You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch; when GOOGLE, iPod, email, modem were unheard of; and when a mouse was something that made you climb onto a table.

You use more 4-letter words like “What?” and “When?”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

pic of the day: Still blooming. . .

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!”

“I did? What did I tell you?”

“You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”

“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the country. Surely there must be a mistake.”

“I don’t think so, Dad. They just returned one of my checks with a note saying ‘Insufficient Funds’.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to”Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Brits have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1066.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Nacho’s especiales

~Nachos is a Tex-Mex snack. In 1943, Nachos were created at a restaurant in Texas.

~Nachos originated in the city of Piedras Negras, Coahuila, Mexico, just over the border from Eagle Pass, Texas, at a restaurant called the Victory Club, owned by Rodolfo De Los Santos.

~What’s the story behind Nachos? The story goes that ten to twelve U.S. soldiers hopped the border from Eagle Pass to Piedras Negras, Mexico for a shopping trip. They arrived at a restaurant that was already closed, but the maître di, Ignacio “Nacho” Anaya” let them in and offered something to eat. He broke up the tostada and covered it in the cheese sauce and heated it up. He then cut up some peppers and put them on top.

When the soldiers asked what it was called, Nacho replied, “Nacho’s especiales.” In time, the name became special nachos. The nachos were spread across Texas and made their way across the U.S. Today there is a variety of extra toppings put on nachos and they are very famous all around the world.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

QUIP OF THE DAY: The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all. – Leo Buscaglia

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .

Change is not pleasant, But change is constant. Only when we change and grow, We’ll see a world we never know.” ~From Wisdom of The Orange Woodpecker